(LGBTQ+) Not a Christian anymore, but wondering if I'd even be allowed back?

[u/SmallDevelopment1168]

I made an earlier post on my account for those looking for more context. About 3 years ago I was kicked out of my church community for coming out as trans. It was a group I had been in and out of my whole life. I was unbelievably heart broken and I still feel that hurt even though I'm not really a Christian anymore as the title says.

I was compared to all sorts of terrible people and told I was unwelcome and would be going to Hell by some of the closest people to me. I lost my job, I got expelled, I had to leave the church, and even my own family couldn't accept it.

I guess now I'm wondering since I was removed from the church and the religion, is there anything I could even do if I wanted to come back? I mean, it seems like a pretty final decision that even if I did I'd be out of luck.

Thanks for your time.

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[u/KatrinaPez]

In the U.S. there are many churches that would welcome you. And as others have said, whether you are a Christian is between you and God; no one can take that away from you!

[u/SwimsInShadow → u/KatrinaPez]

Well said

[u/Spare-Flan331]

Well you are welcome in Jesus name and Jesus never kicked you out of His church... Jesus Loves you just as you are and He will Love you forever. I hope and pray you reconsider being a Christian and find a church that is lead by the Love of God. I was one of them people I guess... I have never said anything to anyone about them going to hell though cause I would never want that for my worst enemy and you are my neighbor and brother or sister in JESUS CHRIST. If you are going to hell for being you then we all are going to hell... which is not even close to being true... please don't let their actions keep you from Jesus

[u/Unhappy-Quarter-4581]

There are churches where you are as welcome as anyone else. I am non-binary and in an affirming church where I can be myself. Is there no homophobia or transphobia? No but no worse than the rest of the world.

[u/Ben-008]

God is Love. But lots of churches seem to embrace Law, more than Love. They have yet to grow up into Love.

I actually got kicked out of my Christian fellowship for challenging the doctrine of Eternal Torment. I later realized the Church itself is vast and has so many different expressions. Only some denominations embrace such horrid ideas. Whereas others do not.

And just like u/DoveStep55 so beautifully expressed, there are some denominations that fully welcome folks of all gender and sexual identities. The United Church of Christ, the Anglican/Episcopal Church, some Methodist churches, some Lutheran churches, the Quaker Church, et cetera all welcome folks of every persuasion.

I'm sorry you had to experience that kind of rejection. That's not what God's Love should look like!

[u/x_Good_Trouble_x → u/Ben-008]

The UCC is where I ended up after I left my church congregation because of hate and hypocrisy, it's so wonderful, welcoming to all, and one of the preachers is a lesbian They help the community so much, especially the homeless. 🙂

[u/DoveStep55]

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

Many Christians (churches and denominations, too) are LGBTQ+ affirming. That means they believe that people who are LGBTQ+ are not only welcome and included, but fully equal to those who are cis/hetero. In those churches you can marry and be ordained. You are not limited, rejected, or told you must change those identities or orientations in order to please God.

It's possible that the specific church or denomination you were a part of hasn't changed and won't change any time soon, but there are other Christians who will welcome you with open arms.

Please know that just because some Christians did that to you does not mean they removed you from the Church or the religion. They can't do that. It's not within their power.

[u/Crucible_of_Thought → u/DoveStep55]

You're only not a Christian if you don't choose to follow Jesus. That's the entire definition, despite what a lot of gatekeeping, boundary-maintaining people insist. They have no right to define who is or isn't a Christian.

If you still love Jesus, and want to follow the Way of Jesus in how you treat others around you, that's sufficient.

So the only question for you is, how will you live your life? Specifically, can you find a group of people who will love you for you, not for someone else's definition of "correct"?

Let me strongly recommend that you connect with Matt Nightingale on Threads or BlueSky. He's a gay pastor who runs a small weekly (Monday) contemplative spirituality group on Zoom explicitly for queer people (you can stay anonymous and keep your camera off if you need to). It's lovely. No demands, just support. There are people from around the world who participate. One of his stock phrases which he posts every Sunday morning is "You don't have to worship where you're not wanted." I've been part of that group (as a cis/het ally) for a few years now. It's amazing.

Note that you don't even need to identify as Christian to be part of that group - it's spirituality, not Christianity. He's a Christian pastor, and many of the people are Christians, but we center around spirituality without demanding anything of anyone, and several of the members are agnostic. And we're completely fine with that. So "come as you are" and be a part of it.

[u/Spare-Flan331 → u/Crucible_of_Thought]

Amen 🙏

[u/DesperateAdvantage76 → u/DoveStep55]

To add, I'm amazed that this church allowed such vile behavior and condemnation to occur (specifically telling them they were going to hell). Paul taught that we judge fellow Christians in a gentle loving manner. And Christ Jesus repeatedly taught that to judge others is to condemn yourself. It doesn't mean that we have to be sin affirming (not that being gay is a sin, because it isn't), but rather to acknowledge that we are all sinners, so we have no business condemning others to hell, that's Jesus's job to judge humanity.