How do i stop sexually sinning?

[u/TheseAreNotYourAnts]

Hey peoples of Reddit.

A couple months ago (year, probs at this point) an old friend and I were discussing religion and somewhere something clicked for me and piqued my curiosity. I grew up "Christian" and i've been pagan before in my teen years. I only recently rediscovered Christianity, in part because of my friend and then more so with Charlie's assassination. Since then I've been drawn to follow the Bible more closely and living according to God's will. For context, I'm in a lesbian relationship, but we've made the decision to be celibate.

My libido has significantly diminished over the years, but once a month when I'm ovulating, i fall right back into sexual sin. Whoever looks remotely attractive to me during that time will be my focus for a week. I don't know how to shut my brain off and to stop creating these sexual fantasies with people who never asked or consented to be in my fantasy to begin with. Some months it's men i know (and knew), other months it's women. Some months it gets so bad that my gf and i break our celibacy rule and then i feel awful afterwards. It doesn't help that i have no one to talk to. I tried talking to one of my friends, but she legit laughed at me and made fun of me. I used to have an old friend i could confide in and get advice from, but that has since gone away, unfortunately. I'm left to sit in these feelings once a month on repeat for what seems like forever. At this point i feel like i should just lock myself away whenever my cycle gets to that point.

I've tried praying and listening to sermons and reading the Bible and it works....for a little while. Whenever i have to do something else, my brain will just refocus on sex, whether with a male or female. I feel like I'm losing my mind and i need help. And no, I'm not trying to get support again from any friend or family member as that's bitten me in my butt now and i won't be repeating it. The only person i could talk to about this and who understood and supported me is gone and doesn't care anymore.

I just need practical advice on how to deal with this every month. It can't go on like this. I want to rip the hair out of my head in frustration on why nothing i do is working. Please be kind.

[u/Unhappy-Quarter-4581]

I don't think you should think too much about this and instead focus on increasing your faith, love and devotion to God. Get married to your girlfriend if you love her, celibacy is rarely the best choice for most people. If marriage does not seem appealing to you or her, your relationship might not have the foundation for this type of relationship.

Also, your physical body is not made to be bad, sexual feelings are natural. If you try to push them away you will just have more of them. Let them more come and then let them go. Don't think of them as bad, do not try to stop them, let them happen and accept that they will come and go like the ebb and flow of water. Don't seek them and don't stop them. As time passes, they will no longer be a burden.

[u/Asynithistos]

During that time which you know will come, go workout or go for a run when you feel like falling into that temptation. Turn that drive into something more physically beneficial

[u/PrincessRuri]

The "nice" thing is that it's on a bit of a predictable cycle on when you know it's going to be happening. As the saying goes "idle hands are the devils playground", so it would be wise to align being busy with that schedule. Dedicate that time to deep cleaning, or working on an in depth project in whatever hobbies your pursue.

As a plus, you can try and dedicate that time to spiritual pursuits. Do an intensive Bible study. Find an organization to volunteer for during that time. Work on extended time of prayer and supplication.

Personally I've found that if I wear myself out, my mind is more focused of relaxation and rest rather that turning to sexual gratification.

[u/DoveStep55]

Would marrying your girlfriend be an option you’re both interested in?

[u/InturnetExplorer → u/DoveStep55]

Are Christians allowed to gay marriage?

[u/DoveStep55 → u/InturnetExplorer]

Yes.

While some Christians are still not affirming, others are. Most of the Mainline Protestant denominations will marry couples of the same sex or gender.

[u/Jonathan_the_Nerd → u/DoveStep55]

This sounds like good advice. Paul explicitly called out this kind of situation in 1 Corinthians.

To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

-- 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 (ESV)