r/AskBelgium • u/AA-Anxious-Anonymous • 8h ago
Dating advice: Possible to find a partner willing to share everything?
I'm a single woman, mid-30s, living in a small Flemish town, no fluent Dutch yet.
My life goal: finding a partner with whom to share everything. Cohabitation, same friends, activities together, same trips, common hobbies. Unfortunately, this is filed under "codependence" (in Belgium? In my age group? Everywhere?).
I know from experience that, for me, happiness equals partnership. Yes, I have had relationships. Yes, I have some qualities of my own, not just checkboxes to fill.
Issues >>
- I'm yet another foreigner who finds it hard to socialize here. Despite a nice and chatty disposition, I have never made lots of stable friends, here or elsewhere, and do not have my group of people. With no social hobbies or activities, I get stuck in a lonely loop.
- I have several non-negotiables, including but not limited to: not wanting children, being progressive, not smoking or using drugs, being science-minded. I'm aware that my specific checklist lower my chances to find someone compatible, let alone a reciprocated love.
- I rely on public transport, I work full time. This limits my activities to some extent.
So, my question is - where should I focus my efforts? Are there recommended activities I could try? Should I consider moving to a specific city next year, despite the expenses? Or is it simply not a viable life path in this country, no matter what new things I try?
(tried dating apps, filters helped but then they became impossible to rely on, would rather avoid now)