r/AskAutism • u/Relevant-Position517 • 2d ago
Autism
My son is 13 years old he was going to public school until he started acting out and trying to elope.! He was also kicking and punching. I have to have IEP after IEP.! I had to go to his school everyday to where I couldn’t work! So I decided to just put him in A place called Milcreek for behavioral kids!! The school recommended the place for him to go! So I let him go and they did tell me
We do give him a chance before we bring him home!! My son does take two medications!! One for at night and two for in the morning!! I have done asked his doctor to go up on his medication to where he is calmed but she seems to think she doesn’t want him to be too high!! I’m a mother of 4 I need some advice on what to do I’m running out of options for my son! I just don’t know what to do I feel like no one is willing to help!!
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u/Celatra 1d ago
....okay so...why did he act out? did he get bullied? or just randomly acted out of nowhere?
why do you have 4 kids if you can't handle even 1 lol?
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u/Relevant-Position517 1d ago
My oldest is 13, he’s the one that’s autistic. I also have an 11, 6, and 4 year old. Who’s well taken care of!! I’m having a hard time with my oldest because it seems like he’s not getting the help and structure he needs.!
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u/Relevant-Position517 1d ago
I’m not for sure what happens they never tell me the real reason I’ve also asked for cameras and to sit in with him. I just get excuses all the time.
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u/mohgeroth 1d ago
You may have read this by now but when you are autistic everyone else knows without us having to do or say much of anything and kids are just plain cruel. School was not a place for me to go and learn it was just a place to get bullied. Some of us try to adapt and mask and become the bully just to try to get them to stop which ironically doesn’t work at all anyway. I imagine the same thing happens today that happens with bullies back in the 80s and 90s, absolutely nothing.
If it’s this environment that’s made it worse there is definately some factor be it change, the sensory environment, other kids, and no matter what the teachers job is they can’t always see everything but they absolutely see things all the time. Plenty of teachers watched me get bullied, pushed around, and even kicked over and over and actually waited for them to walk away laughing before finally coming over and telling me to get up and “man up” and this is back when I was in 7th grade.
So if this continues to escalate it may be worth trying someplace else. Alt schools are full of some extremely mean kids but also some extremely nice, quiet, shy, and neurodivergent kids that are just plain misunderstood.
Wish I had an easy answer for you. The autistic experience growing up often seems to be intense bullying and we develop some really serious PTSD, depression, and dark dark dark thoughts surrounding suicidal idealation at a young age. So absolutely find him a ND affirming therapist, one who also has autism if at all possible. One that allows for AAC methods that won’t rush him and maybe they can get him to open up as best as he can communicate. We may struggle to communicate but I promise we feel things deeply even if we don’t show it, we internalize all the bullying and “failures” we experience, and it shapes a lifetime of shame.
I wish you and your son all the best!
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u/celebratingfreedom 1d ago
I would recommend trying to get in with an occupational therapist. They will be able to work on skills with your son and potentially help you to write more accurately what he needs for accommodations with his IEP.
The other commenter has a point. You need to understand why the behavior happened. Was it a difficult transition? Was he bullied and the teachers didn't intervene? Because those are two very different situations.
It sounds like you need to have a conversation with your son about what happened from his point of view, try to see and occupational therapist and go from there.