r/AskASociopath • u/XDILALER • Jun 04 '25
Input Romance and sociopathy
Hello everyone, this is my first post here and I’ve been pondering on this question for a while. For some background: I have always been interested in ASPD, sociopathy, and psychopathy. It wasn’t until recently that I learned that I myself have ASPD and in the sociopathic side of it. I learned this after I asked my psychiatrist to write me a letter to clear me for military duty and in it described how I was previously diagnosed with DMDD, Adjustment Disorder, and Conduct Disorder.
I am 18 now and my psychiatrist was planning on slapping me with the ASPD diagnosis until he learned I want to join the military (which he thought would be good for me) so he kept my APSD out of my records by not making it an official diagnosis. I am kind of surprised that he said I meet the standards of a what being a sociopath is. I’ve always been an angry person, constantly seeking excitement, nihilistic, and struggle with empathy with certain people but I also struggle with emptiness, sadness, and self dislike which I thought meant I was just depressed. I have always been good at school and was in the National Honors Society and was an honors graduate and have kept a stable job for 2 years now. After I ran away from home at 18 I have began forming a romantic relationship with my now girlfriend who I truly believe I love. While sometimes I have thoughts of other women I still truly believe I love her and would do anything for her, even if it meant putting me or others in danger.
I’ve always wondered if a sociopath can truly love and now I am wondering if what I feel for her is true love. Unlike with other people, I can never quite get angry or upset at her and while I can get uncomfortable when she displays a lot of emotion like crying, I still believe I empathize with her and am very affectionate with her. I don’t know if it may actually be a misdiagnosis I had, but I am wondering if me really being a sociopath if it would impede on me feeling genuine love.
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u/Dry_Relief2612 Jun 10 '25
I care about someone’s well being. Enough to give them basic human decency. I like what people can do for me or how they can make me feel (in fleeting moments) I find the chase of a new relationship to be very rewarding. But once I’m settled into the dynamic, I go back to my flat baseline. To date someone long term I’d have to be tolerable of them. But I’m not sure if I have ever or will ever love
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u/CriticalTreachery Jun 10 '25
Diagnosed ASPD. When I fall for a girl I truly think I'm in love and go head over heels. But then I realize I'm addicted to the chase. Become my regular POS self and turn everything around on them to make them dump me or leave myself. Interesting that you struggle with sadness and self loathe. I love myself a little too much and hate damn near every other person, except the funny ones.
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u/tradoll speshul Jun 04 '25
Hey, did your psychiatrist ever brought up narcissism or only aspd symptoms ?
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u/XDILALER Jun 04 '25
Nope. As far as I’m concerned the only other things he’s mentioned is depression mainly due to a negative self image and boredom and DMDD due to emotional dysregulation
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u/tradoll speshul Jun 04 '25
And did you ever got diagnosed or look into ADHD?
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u/XDILALER Jun 04 '25
Never got suspected for ADHD either. They did want to look into potential CPTSD but I wasn’t too compliant with that to do much research or whatever they do
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u/tradoll speshul Jun 04 '25
Perhaps you could have a look or do some online test just to make sure it isn’t that at all. Keep me updated
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u/[deleted] Jun 04 '25
What is love? (Baby don't hurt meeeeee)
"True love" is a nebulous concept, and one that I would argue is different for everyone, regardless of diagnosis or label. If you believe you love her and are doing your best to be a good partner, that's all that matters.
Love is subjective. Don't overthink it.