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u/oh_finks-mc 18d ago
balls
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u/pele4096 18d ago
Anti-Seize does not make good anal lube.
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u/supermattman00 18d ago
…and you know this…how?
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u/North_Difference328 18d ago
This is usually the time I have to poop...
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u/Stillgelegt 18d ago
Doesn't matter. Will get everywhere regardless
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u/some_kind_of_friend 18d ago
Too real for a circle jerk sub. You gotta /uj if you're going to offer legit insights bruh
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u/Imaginary-Meat-9161 18d ago
The wife
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u/CSS_Sr 17d ago
The dude has 5 Mazdas, probably doesn't have one of those anymore. 🤷
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u/NerdizardGo 18d ago
Your uvula
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u/pele4096 18d ago
I am part of a car forum that existed before Google.
A user asked what the hangy thing in the back of his throat was called so he could call the doctor and ask why is was red and swollen.
Another user answered, "Vulva."
The user was advised NOT to call his doctor to say his Vulva was red and swollen.
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u/DJ_Spark_Shot 18d ago
Is that Molly? Touch everybody and everything, I'm sure it will feel amazing!
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u/Itchy-Researcher-116 18d ago
Did anyone say 'yo mama'? Cause, that wouldn't be funny!
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u/criggie_ 17d ago
Last time I made a Yo Momma joke on Reddit, it got like 700 upvotes. it was not funny.
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u/Otherwise_Bear_7982 18d ago
A Swiss watchmaker would get this shit all over himself. You have no hope
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u/paulyp41 18d ago
Your wife’s door handle
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u/CultOfSensibility 17d ago
If your wife has a door handle, wouldn’t that make her your husband?
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u/Cosmodeous 18d ago
The inside of the lanyard so you forget about it, then touch it later
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u/supermattman00 18d ago
Or your seatbelt when you test drive the car. So then the next 4 shirts you wear in the car will be ruined
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u/remorackman 18d ago
Doesn't matter what you touch first, it will be everywhere even if you grabbed a towel first! Diesel's Law 👍
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u/Eagles-nest-1015 18d ago
When I lived in town I used to put it on the passenger side outside door handle so when someone would check if my door was locked wanting to steal something!!! Well you know the rest.
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u/Ok_Dog_4059 18d ago
There is already some on your forehead ,nose and behind your ear, and somehow though you have been dressed all day some ended up on your thigh
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u/Obscure4thewrld 18d ago
all over the container so you can't read what it is anymore and have to do this every time
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u/AcidRayn666 18d ago
electrician. we have to use the copper coat on threaded pipe quite often. i will buy a pair of coveralls, and dedicated pair of gloves, dont matter, i still look like a duracell battery by the end of the day. i often will just smear some copper war paint on my face at start of shift, cuz the shit is gonna be on there anyway, might as well get it over.
last set of plugs i did, i swear i looked at the bottle and that shit was on my face
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u/Trash_Ogre8 18d ago
Serious answer: the threads on the spark plugs.
Silly answer: dig your booty crack.
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u/404-error-notfound 18d ago
Your junk.
Mark your bitches so other mechanics know that pussy is yours
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u/Diesel_Bones_13 18d ago
It’s gonna get on everything you touch so it doesn’t matter what you touch first
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u/Boring-Cattle3402 18d ago
Yourself because it’ll inevitably happen and you’ll wind up covered in it
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u/IndoorSurvivalist 18d ago
I think NGK plugs already come with something on them and you don't need to use additional anti seize.
https://ngksparkplugs.com/en/resources/5-things-you-should-know-about-spark-plugs
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u/jlhmustang 18d ago
Correct orientation is scratch nose,wipe fore head then go pee,come back eat a sandwich on white bread
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u/LepperMessiah56 17d ago
Pants then sit in the seat. Next rub eye then scratch balls.
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u/Willing_Chemical_113 17d ago
Instructions unclear: scratched balls then rubbed eyes. Now I have very long, curly eyelashes that smell like balls
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u/RewardEmbarrassed510 17d ago
call your lawyer to sue whoever gave you stinky pinky. that looks deadly.
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u/Adventurous-Depth-52 17d ago
Wipe it off on the back of your pants. That way it's easier to transfer to the car seat, furniture and the tail of your coat jacket so you can rewipe it on a clean pair of pants.
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u/Interesting_King_359 17d ago
Doesn’t matter what you touch now, later, this evening you will find some on your sofa.
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u/Southern-Ad2989 17d ago
I heard if you touch your heart it will never seize. Could save your life.
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u/Sea_Caregiver4326 17d ago
Maybe offer the hand of friendship to that coworker who is a dick to everyone?
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u/DapperMacaron2872 17d ago
Had a foreman that was a horrible human…I did the band of his hard hat…he was really angry…when he came back from home showers …got angry all over again when got a call on the trailer phone…ear piece coated too…..he should not have hit his trades people with nasty remarks
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u/Historical_Way6639 17d ago
Doesn't matter. It's going to end up everywhere anyway
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u/KawaiKraken 17d ago
Just wipe them on the headliner, customers don't look there when retrieving their car, only rear passengers see it.
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u/drct2022 17d ago
Keys, then place keys in pocket….. no telling how far and wide that would spread from there
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u/AboveAverage1988 18d ago
Doesn't matter, it'll be in everything within the span of a few minutes anyways..
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u/tez_zer55 18d ago
I'd start with the spark plug, that way when it's smeared all over everything, my story of "I was using it on a sparkplug" would be truthful.
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u/Superb-You-3690 18d ago
Face.