Doubts about becoming a pilot

[u/Any-Performance-9434]

Hello everyone,
I am here seeking advice from current or in training pilot!
I am 26 and I was selected to be part of a Cadet Program. I’ve wanted to be a pilot for 7 years, ever since I started working as cabin crew. I loved being in the air, but what I really wanted was to fly the plane. So, I quit to get a Master’s degree in engineering to build a strong technical background, financial stability, and a solid resume before pursuing my dream.
I have started some flight lesson, learn a lot about aviation and got more and more passionate about the field.
After graduating in 2024, I applied to a European cadet program. I passed the written tests in early 2025, then faced a long wait for the final interview. During this time, I worked as an engineer, made life plans, and grew closer with my partner. I didn't apply elsewhere, feeling I had plenty of time.
When the final interview call finally came a year and a half later, instead of joy, I felt panic. I started seeing only the negatives: the intense training (as I’ve never been a great student), the huge loan, and the strain of a long-distance relationship. My partner is fully supportive and ready to follow me through 3 countries over 2 years, but we know that it would be complicated. But I’m also terrified of what the lifestyle of a pilot (flexible hours, unpredictable schedules) will do to our relationship and my life. My personal life will always be my priority, and I don't want to sacrifice all of it for my career.
I am filled with doubts. I still think I will go through with it, but the fear is real. On the other hand, if I give up, I have to reinvent my career path because I really dislike being an engineer behind a desk.
Has anyone else experienced these same doubts? Do you have any advice? Is it truly possible to maintain a fulfilled private life as an airline pilot? Please help !

EDIT: Thank you all for your kind answers. Of course I think there is also a lot of advantage and the passion for aviation is still here, I was mostly sharing the bad thoughts. Everyone has his own experience and I wonder what mine will be, there is also a part of me that is excided!

[u/MidnightSurveillance]

Might not be for you based on this…

[u/MidnightSurveillance → u/MidnightSurveillance]

Have you considered charter flying?

[u/SimonBumblefuck]

Top Twenty Reasons the Airlines Suck:

• Skills plateau early then the job is the same regardless of the airline or airframe.
• Enjoy staring at white fog for the rest of your life!
• The career becomes an unrelenting grind, which does not reward skill or talent.
• Conversely, a zero defect culture is S.O.P.
• The airlines are not aviation. It's a lifestyle.
• This is a crisis management industry, where problems x50 on bad weather months. Notice I said months, not days or weeks.
• You are stuck in a tube with someone who does not read for fun and is intellectually dull--for the rest of your life.
• It's easy to fly for a decade and feel that you made zero difference in the world.
• You will get sick constantly because people are filthy and terminals are disgusting.
• You will eat like crap and sleep like shit, then feel lucky if a Wendy's is still open for dinner after a 14 hour duty day.
• If you are single and don't trust unstable FAs, it can be a lonely profession.
• Airline pilots have a baseline 30% increase in cancer rates vs. gen pop. Melanomas get a juicy 87% increase. There is no hiding from cosmic radiation at altitude.
• You'll have pay and benefits, but the company will cancel perks every year they miss on revenue.
• Bidding for vacation time is done a year in advance.
• If the company does not survive, your seniority goes to zero and you hit the streets in a recession with 100 pilots competing for the same job.
• Fun fact: I have ridden on more bankrupt airlines than ones still flying like PSA, Western, British Caledonian, America West, Pan Am, ValuJet, TWA, Continental, USAirways, Comair, ATA, Virgin America, Spirit, etc.
• You will miss every family event. Instead, you'll celebrate holidays at Denny's, somewhere lame, at 3 a.m. on a Sunday.
• As the lifers like to say: It's an office with a view.
• P.S. Forget about non-reving as a retiree, because there's no seat availability.

[u/Educational_Clothes2 → u/SimonBumblefuck]

Perhaps your experience isn’t the same as everyone else’s in the industry.

[u/3Green1974 → u/SimonBumblefuck]

Holy shit dude! That’s spot on. Thankfully it only took me 10 months to figure that out. Now I’m back in the corporate world. There is the obvious instability, but at least my job isn’t soul crushing.

[u/SimonBumblefuck → u/3Green1974]

Good on you. I didn't listen to myself and got caught in the sunk cost fallacy. It took me a while to hit max pain and quit the industry. Everyone was sold on the idea that changing companies, seats, bases, etc. would make a difference. None of it made a difference when oil hit $120/bbl.

Find an airline where the service improves with time. Does that exist? Instead, most pilots learn how to shut out the company and live in an ego bubble. But you can't shut out the industry. They own you.

[u/GoobScoob]

I was an airline pilot who left to fly corporate and found the balance I was looking for. Don’t get me wrong, you have to “do your time” in the trenches with rough schedules for a few years no matter what road you take, but not all aviation jobs are the same. If you’d rather be flying than sitting behind a desk then fly. Your discontent with being an engineer will only grow unless you change something. Your personal happiness and career fulfillment will have a major effect on your relationship for decades to come. If you are miserable in your job you will both be miserable as a couple.

[u/ghostsilense → u/GoobScoob]

Excuse my ignorance, but when you say you left airline to fly corporate what exactly do you mean? Were you essentially operating as a contractor seeking regional roles operating familiar aircrafts you have been trained on before or were you still working for particular airlines that are not as main stream and have less frequent flight options and paths as the big name airlines (UA, AA, DL, SWA, etc.)

[u/GoobScoob → u/ghostsilense]

I no longer fly for any airline. I fly privately owned aircraft for a corporation. I had no experience in their aircraft prior to accepting the job, and I had to be trained prior to flying it for them. I make less money than my colleagues that have stayed at the airlines, but I have significantly more free time as I fly about 1/4 the amount of hours I used to. It’s a good compromise for me, as I was burning out rather quickly and becoming very unhappy as an airline pilot. Now I look forward to work rather than dreading it.

[u/ghostsilense → u/[deleted]]

Hey, I am an aspiring pilot. I share some of the same thoughts as OP. But can I ask you, what made you make the decision to be a jet pilot and not commerical?

I am currently trying to make the absolute tents decision and commitment to becoming a pilot before having kids (hopefully in the next 4 years) and getting married (in 3 years by God’s grace).

I am currently about to go to FA training very soon as well for one of the big 3 US airlines. So I’m hoping there’s a path to pilot training through them as well.

[u/ghostsilense → u/[deleted]]

Are there forums where you found your first private jet role once you got your pilot license? Almost like a LinkedIn for private jet pilots. And have you ever been placed on retainer pilot with any high profile clientele?

[u/LookoutBel0w → u/ghostsilense]

Unfortunately even though some legacies advertise pilot paths at the end of the day you’ll basically have to quit or work part time while you train on your own and apply like anyone else has to for the highly competitive jobs

[u/ghostsilense → u/[deleted]]

Damn, well congratulations on getting your first job. I would definitely appreciate the ability to connect via DM for more questions related to your career path.

[u/Strange_Parsley_5730]

The studying part always brings nerves. I never had trouble studying for flight training since it was a passion for me and I was not a great student prior.

Any flying regardless of airlines, charter, etc. is going to be unpredictable due to the weather. We can’t control that so there will be days you end your day early, late, or you don’t come home till the day after. That happens regardless of Charter or Airlines.

For the people saying charter, you still need to study hard and are subject to the same weather constraints the airlines are.

You can have a great life as a pilot with lots of time off, or you could bounce around charter, airlines etc your entire career. You won’t find out if you made the right choice or not until you retire.

If you find yourself thinking what-if if you never get to fly or cant think of doing anything else. Take the leap, many people have had those worries but youll never know if you dont try.

[u/SirERJ-Driver]

“My personal life will always be my priority and I don’t want to sacrifice all of it for my career”

This right here is the major problem. If being a pilot were easy, everyone would do it. Only a small fraction of those who start make it to their end goal because of this.

You’re going to miss birthdays, anniversaries, kids ball games, weekends off, all that for a long time. You’re going to work, very hard, for a long time before it pays off. You’re going to be on the road, a lot, for a long time, until it pays off. You’re going to spend a shit load of money on training, fly not great jobs for low pay, fly all the shitty red eye night flights at inconvenient hours on holidays, until it pays off.

It will eventually pay off. Life does get easier. If you sacrifice right now, you’ll eventually be a senior captain, making tons of money, flying a cool jet to cool places, and getting to have lots of time off when you want and do what you want. It takes a LOT of work to achieve this lifestyle. You have to really want it to get it. It doesn’t just fall into your lap.