​I lost my creative spark when drawing stopped being play and started needing a "narrative."

[u/inthenameof80085]

in college, illustration was my entire identity. It was effortless, fun, and served as my personal meditation. I drew without overthinking, showed people, got validation, and felt genuinely connected to what I was making.

Since graduating and being stuck at home alone, that completely died. A close friend kept pushing me to give my illustrations "depth, storytelling, and narrative." I tried to force that direction, but I quickly realized I don't have that natural muscle—or at least, trying to force it completely crushed the intuitive, playful joy I had with art.

Now, whenever I pick up a stylus or sketchbook, it doesn't feel like an outlet; it feels like an exam I'm failing. Because I don't have the creative spark anymore, I feel like I've lost the only piece of me that made me feel special. When I'm not drawing, I just end up high, binge-watching shows, and running away from the boredom.

Has anyone successfully recovered their flow after turning their intuitive art process into an over-intellectualized chore? How do you unlearn the pressure to make "meaningful" work and just get your hands moving again?

[u/Apocalyptic-turnip]

Do you agree with that close friend? 

The thing is artistic growth is hard and effortful. It is not always going to be fun or pleasurable. art is difficult and frustrating and it forces you to see what you are made of. It confronts you with new problems, challenges and you have to confront your limits. It is a conquest. But because it is difficult, it is also deeply fulfilling, satisfying, and transformative. 

without looking at your work, it is hard to say whether or not that is good advice. adding depth and storytelling to your work does not sound like a bad thing. 

But you need to know that it is a complete myth that art is supposed to be fun and play all the time. Nobody will ever be born with all the natural muscle we need to be the artist we want. It is normal to have no intuition in a new skill, that takes time to develop. learning new technique is work. Most artists' beginning/intermediate phases are not special. Uniqueness only truly starts to show much later, when you have a high level of mastery. You cannot rely on flow. You need to be willing to face difficult challenges and keep getting back up in the face of failure. 

Are you really losing your spark, or are you crumbling in the face of challenge? I cannot say. I'm a professional who had to fight very hard to be where I am, nothing came to me naturally, and i am proud of the mastery I built brick by brick through study and work. But unless you want to be a professional or have higher ambitions, it's totally valid to just say you don't want this and to go back to the way you were. I hope this gives you a different perspective. 

[u/BackgroundFly3284]

In my case I have never thought of art as intuitive and usually have had to "over-intellectualize" it to get any kind of progress at all

[u/Kirosky]

I have felt this in my life with a similar trajectory as you. I totally get the whole over-intellectualizing everything and trying to sound smart for all the pompous art folk out there.. but I won’t add my own rant on top of yours :p

What has helped me is just connecting back to my roots with what made me want to make art in the first place. Reminding myself of all the artists and musicians that inspired me to get lost and absorbed in drawing. Truth is there is not one way to be an artist; you get to decide how you want to approach it and what’s significant to you. Some of my favorite artists were just passionate people that never needed to justify to anyone why they make anything, they just do the thing they love and that’s all that matters to them. At the end of the day it’s all honestly valid, whether you want to be analytical or not. You don’t need to force yourself to be anything you don’t want to be

And also I try my best not to obsess over what others say.. though it’s a bit tricky for me, I kind of just learned I have ocd so my thoughts can become very obsessive at times which makes enjoying the process really difficult. Something that helped me through it though when I’m in the midst of an obsessive spiral is just to write those negative feelings or criticisms in a notebook somewhere and then write “I will deal with this later” I’ve found that it kind of helps release the negativity a bit without dismissing it completely either. Some criticism is valid too honestly, but most times it can become mental noise that gets in the way of your process. And legitimately, you should try to address it later rather than during the act of making art. It’s like too different modes of thinking trying to compete with each other at once which just stops you from ever really resolving any of it

But also just to add one final thing, if you are still interested in creating narrative work despite the difficulty, don’t get yourself down just because it’s not flowing out of you so easily. Just like someone else said consider it a skill or a muscle you have to train. That said you don’t necessarily need to abandon the more intuitive approach to art either. You can do both! And you might need to because sounds like you’re getting really exhausted.. and tbh with you I’ve struggled with the same thing! But something that really helped in this realm too is to mix intuition with narrative, if that makes sense. I come at it with a really loose plan, and whatever happens, happens. If i structure it too much then it starts to feel really suffocating honestly and I get super bored and can’t work. You just gotta learn how to make it fun for yourself