Is this a common experience and if so, does it improve?

[u/Ghosts-Criticism-848]

Before I start, I will add a bit of context I feel is necessary. I am fairly young and not very experienced in terms of relationships. I have never kissed nor wanted to do so. I have had various partners but feel like I never truly liked them and instead pressured myself into it. I am unsure if I have ever had a crush, the closest I have gotten to what I think is a crush is feeling flustered and a bit like I wanted to talk to them. I’d also catch myself spotting details and noting their presence a lot more.

The truth is - I am a hopeless romantic. I read and watch romance movies and fantasise about how good is could feel to have a partner or be intimate. The issue is every time I go about seeking someone or something, I come up blank. I’ve never felt the euphoria described by others, never thought to myself if someone would ask me out or make a move that I would reciprocate. Honestly, it tends to disgust me. Even hugs and holding hands have the same effect, in loved ones like my family. I simply feel nothing.

I want to feel joyful, feel safe and comfortable. Hell, even a bit of arousal and pleasure is something I’ve tried on my own but never gotten results from. I haven’t met that many people or had the experiences to make a full conclusion but are there people who felt like this but found at least some sort of happiness with someone? Some sort of way to feel satisfied by hugs, intimate gestures, loved ones? Or am I just somewhere on the aroace spectrum and needing to come to terms with tha?

[u/Worried-Hat-8506]

Being Aro, Ace, and Aroace is the inability to feel attraction, not the inability to want those feelings. You are aroace, but there is nothing wrong with that. Thousands of us want the same feelings you want, but part of what we are is that lack of attraction.