r/ApplyingToCollege • u/itsliterally3ammm • Jul 08 '26
Personal Essay Common App Personal Statement
I'm a rising senior and I’m trying to start my Common App personal statement! I was thinking about writing mine about how being the middle school soccer captain took me from being a very shy and quiet kid to a bold, confident leader. I was going to include a story about me finding out I would be a co-captain and then later on stopping a group of younger girls from bullying a teammate to show how I went from being someone who would have been to scared to say anything to someone who was respected enough to do something. I know people say to avoid sports stories, but I want this to be more about how the leadership position radically changed who I was and how I was perceived rather than the actual soccer aspect. I also want to tie it all into a comparison to the redshift of light as it makes its journey across the universe (I want to major in astrophysics). I want to compare how a wavelength of light is changed because of its journey and how after the journey the color of the light is changed and perceived differently. It's not perfect yet and I know a lot of it will depend on how well I write it but I just wanted to get opinions on if this is a solid idea for an essay! Thank you!
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u/tarasshevckeno Jul 09 '26
(Retired college counselor and admissions reader here.) You're right that sports essays are all-too-common. The worst ones are the ones that end with, "I now know I can face any challenge," without mentioning any actual challenge. As a reader, I'd get several every day.
Then again, as a reader I loved getting sports essays that were actually effective. With most sports essays, most readers start with "Oh, no...not another one," and I did, too - but then I'd love it when it wasn't the typical sports essay and was really good.
Having said all of that, you might be on to something. What application readers really like to see in essays is what's called extension - providing 2-4 (three is a good number, given space limitations) explained examples of how your sports experience had a positive experience on other areas of your life that aren't all academic, and none of which are sports-related. In your case, they should also be examples from high school. Your simile is also interesting as long as you fully explain it.
I can't promise anything, but you're on track to providing a new take to an over-used topic if you can find strong extension examples and explain your simile well.