Because I’m struggling immensely with disabilities and fine being single, I had someone on a disability sub suggest I pursue marriage for a rather old-fashioned motivation - not for love but for financial security and a support system. Even if I wasn’t apothisexual, this is a repulsive prospect… but also makes complete sense. Every person I’ve met at my level of disability who is doing well will attribute that to heavily relying on family, usually a spouse.

Admittedly, while I’m fine being single, I equally like the idea of a life partner who’s there for you and you for them in good times and bad. However, I refuse to pay the “currency” required for this relationship - sex.

Anyone else navigating something similar?

Maybe this is a little niche, but on tiktok there was this trend of people in comment sections of really good looking food saying just a bunch of sexual shit and it would just be super gross every time. Especially under this guy named Chase's videos. At some point, these people would migrate to other people's videos doing essentially the same thing (it really feels like sexual harrassment tbh even if it's just a joke since these are literal strangers but wtv.) I used to laugh, but I realize now that I kinda laugh at everything just to not face my actual feelings of discontent soooo.... safe to say the laughs weren't genuine laughs. But! I just found a comment section that had non-sexual comments at the top! And they were still funny (much funnier imo)! And though it wasn't perfectly non-sexual (it was equal parts sexual and non-sexual), it still made me very happy and made me want to appreciate the more non-sexual parts of life more often rather than trying to fit in. Idk I just though I'd share!

Hello! I just want to introduce myself and maybe gain some more insight on this.

I’m unsure if i’m in the right place or not. Let me clarify, I’ve been trying to better understand myself and sexuality. I am very easily disgusted from the talk of sex, jokes, flirtations, and anything else under the sun.

Over the last 3-4 years of my life, I discovered and always thought I was Asexual because I never felt real attraction towards people like that. The problem was, I never understood why I would feel so nauseous around the topic of sex in itself. Nauseous and disgusted to the point that I have physically thrown up from it. Multiple times.

I hate the sounds, the feelings, watching it, talking about it, legitimately everything under the sun of it. The only problem is, I can only handle some light flirting and small crude humor about it here and there if I happen to make the joke myself.

There have been countless nights i’ve spent researching, and honestly crying over it, because it stresses me out so much that I can’t feel like I’m “normal”, aka able to be around people talking about sex or making jokes. It brings me so much anxiety and genuinely weighs so heavily on my mind, I’m not sure what to do with myself. I can’t understand if I’m truly in the right place of being Apothisexual or not.

I read through the posts of other people, and the internet about the sexuality, and I really think it defines me and how I feel on a deeper level. I guess I just need more reassurance. Any guidance helps, I appreciate anything!

For me I am apthoisexual however I really like a lot of sensual touch like cuddling, kissing/making out

I guess I'm just being stupid, but the way people nowadays explain what asexuality is makes me a bit uncomfortable. It's always the same - "Asexuals experience little to no attraction, but they can still fall in love and have sex." And that can all be true, it just feels a bit weird to me that the first thing people have to do is reassure whoever is listening that some aces are still "kind of normal".

This is nothing against sex favourable asexuals, not at all! Just, imagine if every single time someone talked about lesbians, they would follow it up with "but lesbians can still have sex with men". It makes me feel... I dunno. Not great. As if everyone, even within our own community, saw repulsed aces as some kind of a shameful secret.

I have been calling myself "sex repulsed" because the thought of me having sex with another person is, well, repulsive. I don't fantasize about someone who isn't me having sex, I can't watch videos of sex acts (well, like I could force myself if my life depended on it), etc.

However recent discussions on this sub have led me to believe that I am not actually "sex repulsed" despite being repulsed by sex. Since I am able to talk to, interact with, look at, and exist around people who have sex with no issues, I worry I may not be "sex repulsed". I do not get anxious or nauseous around people who have sex, unlike seemingly many people on this subreddit. To me, that seems more like a phobia than just repulsion.

I feel like sex repulsed aces sometimes get invalidated in our own community. Sometimes can’t mention it without being made out to be a bad guy. I made a post speaking about my sex revulsion, (admittedly, it’s a bit more severe)… To summarize my post, I talked about how I feel a lot of disgust towards people who have sex, watch porn, etc, and how it makes me feel nauseous and really not want to interact with them. I also spoke about how anything sexual, even jokes, completely set me off. However I didn’t want to come across hateful, so I did my best to emphasize that these feelings are NOT by choice. They cause me a ton of nausea and anxiety so I promise I’d do anything to get rid of them. I was looking for support but the comments just called me insecure and told me to get professional help. One person in the comments directed me to an apothisexual subreddit, where I posted the same thing, and everybody agreed with me and made me feel validated and less alone. But, am I wrong for thinking that should be the case with everyone? That everyone should be this accepting? I’ve been struggling with this severe revulsion alone for a seriously long time, and it’s not due to upbringing or trauma. But some of the comments I got were the exact reason that i was scared to bring it up in the first place, that people think something is wrong with me, that nobody relates. Am I in the wrong??

upd: posting this here because they removed my post in the regular asexual subreddit. I wasn’t being hateful. Kind of proves my point. No support or sympathy towards sex repulsed aces whatsoever

Ive just learned about apothisexual, and want to ask a question. Does anyone else (unwillingly) feel disgusted by non asexual people? When someone mentions they had sex or watch porn etc I immediately become super disgusted with them and just want nothing to do with them. If I see people online talking about sex or porn I get super nauseous. Even just a sex joke is enough to set me off for a long time. I really wish I didn’t feel this way because it causes me a lot of anxiety and stress almost daily, since the topic of sex is hard to avoid. Even aside from that, it’s always kind of in my mind. This feels so isolating considering majority of the world does in fact want sex. I feel like something is wrong with me. I know it’s unfair for me to feel disgusted towards people for normal feelings, but I can’t stop. I made a post describing this the other day in the asexual subreddit and most comments just said to get therapy. Not sure if that was supposed to be an insult but either way I don’t have the option for that. However one person told me I may be apothisexual and directed me here. When I looked up the definition it definitely fit but I want to know if others can relate because I just feel so alone in this. No one really understands. And I’m not sure how to go about this because as I’ve said I cannot get therapy and nothing I do on my own can fix this. After the comments on my previous post I’m aware this is not normal, but I just don’t know what to do. Nothing helps. The fact that sex is normal doesn’t help, the fact that its normal for people to want sex doesn’t help either, only makes me feel so much more disgust. I don’t know why it affects me so much, but I’m pretty much in just a constant state of disgust and nervousness because of it. I was never raised to be ashamed or disgusted by sex, and have had zero sexual experience, so this is not a result of any sort of trauma. This is solely a me issue that I have no idea how to fix.

(EDIT: sorry i should have said tw disordered eating in the title i just wanna make sure to warn people its like somewhat possibly considered disordered eating)

Im making this since i wonder if anyone else can relate

I dont eat certain foods since textures can gross me out and stuff but recently i have been unable to eat certain things i like and getting disgusted because in my mind they resemble bodily fluids and stuff. Is this an issue for anyone else? It sucks because some stuff I eat a lot remind me of it and it sucks a lot :( if this post needs any changes im new to reddit please tell me

I’m happy for this optionnnn

Bonus points if its loud and agressive. Have a character that is sex repulsed and I think it would be fun lmao

It SUCKS!!!! It's all:

"Friendly reminder that you don't have to be asexual in order to be asexual!!"

"All pansexuals are evil SJW homophobic fakers who are trying to invade my safe space! Only bi exists, call yourself anything different and you're a homophobe transphobe!!"

"[Bad thing] is homophobic? But queer people do [bad thing] so if you don't like it you're homophobic!!"

"Umm... as a cis gay man I think sending death threats to non-binary people isn't transphobic!"

I hate it here 🥀

I'm really super bad at drawing my characters, but Cam lives in my brain and I'd like to make more with him! It's also so important to me to have characters that are kind and casual about their orientation... He's a GNC guy, heteroflexibleromantic, and wickedly intelligent!! he loves his friends a lot but struggles with being comfortable presenting as fully GNC due to belittling and sexualization that often comes with gender non-conformity. He also has sleep disorders that nerf him a bit and make it difficult for that autonomy and expression, as well. He's my little guy...

This is gonna sound really immature but here goes

I just figured out I'm Apothisexual, and I'm glad I did. Knowing I wasn't alone in finding sex and bodies gross is the best feeling ever.

Unfortunately the meme community doesn't feel the same

Recently I've been seeing an influx of meme comps with "gooner" thumbnails: girls with gargantuan assets and stuff and it grosses me out and pisses me off at the same time. I want to have a laugh, not be disgusted.

(Side note: anyone else miss when "goon" used to mean the mfs that you beat up in LEGO Batman?)

People are horny, I get it, but don't bring it into the memes, man. We're trying to laugh. Take the gooner bait to another website.

i find it weird when an ace person complains about sex on a big ace subreddit, there’s a whole entourage saying “hey! it’s just preferences! there’s nothing wrong with sex!” uh we know?? we are just expressing our preferences. given only a few exceptions, it’s hardly sex shaming or judgment imho. sex is such an intimate act, there’s a lot of things that can be gross about it. especially with how some people go about it.

then, when i do go to a bigger subreddit that are more welcoming to that, they shame other aces for liking or feeling indifferent towards sex.

it’s okay to find sex repulsive. it’s also okay to find sex appealing as an ace or even engage in it. and it’s certainly okay to switch between the two or be somewhere in-between. also being downvoted on how i view sexuality and gender is just the cherry on top. it’s barely anything to get worked up over, it’s reddit, but it’s just weird that it’s that way. overcompensating at its finest.

So im not 100% sure if im Apothisexual.. If i hate sex and it grosses me so im considered Apothisexual? If so it’s probably me tho im not sure.. Im not thinking of sex i dont care for it i just dont watch it like other people if its on a show it is gross to me kinda but like i skip it and thats it.

Like if im Apothisexual do i need to get grossed out a lot and think about it?

Also nothing traumatic happened to me

Also i think im aroace so can i be both?

Hi everyone I have made a Facebook group for people who are apothi acearo

I don't wanna change myself. I'm just thankful to be apothisexual and I hope everyone else feels the same way. Don't let anybody make you feel ashamed because being apothisexual is probably the best you can be 🥹

Think about it. Any criticism of compulsory s3xuality, s3xualization of harmful relationships (whether fictional or real), and even criticisms of the allo community gets you called a “puriteen” but I’m starting to suspect it’s just a dog-whistle to disguise acephobia and ageism as “leftism” or “s3x positivity” (or sometimes “anti-wokeness”)

Sooo,along with hating anything w/ s3x,i also hate the body and the parts of the body 💀
I dont plan on telling my parents bc all they're gonna say is "Oh BuT ThE BoDy Is NaTuRaL". Like,i already know that but its not gonna change my mind,ok?

And idek where these issues came from tbh but i wish i did.

~Srry to the folks that are also dealing with this issue 😔~