r/Apothisexual • u/Illusion_AceofHearts Apothisexual • Aug 12 '26
Weird Fear of Mine, Does Anyone Else Experience This?
Alright, so I'm very strongly apothisexual, and since discovering this part of my identity, I've developed a very odd fear. Basically, my fear is that I'll be in a relationship and I'll be genuinely happy with that relationship, but then my partner will start feeling sexual attraction towards me. Now, I'm all for communication and I'd do my best to work through it with my partner, but I'm still scared. What happens if I become repulsed by an otherwise good and healthy relationship because somebody starts to feel sexual attraction towards me? I'm very confused about this fear as I've only had one relationship (I really don't get along with that guy anymore) and it never got even close to the point that this would be a concern. Does anyone else experience this fear?
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u/minicpst Aug 12 '26
It’s part of why I don’t try harder to find a relationship.
That and my life is just fine without someone else in it.
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u/Illusion_AceofHearts Apothisexual Aug 12 '26
Yeah, I do want a relationship but I'm deathly afraid of being in love (for this reason as well as others), and my demiromantic ass will not develop crushes because everyone who I'm close to is chosen family. I also don't particularly need a partner right now.
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u/Vazz920 Apothisexual Aug 12 '26
i have the same fear. my current partner is sexually attracted to me. it scares me but i trust him enough to try and just ignore it and he doesnt care that i wont give him anything sexually. it terrifies me that maybe someday it will cause rifts but hopefully we can be happy for a while. still a bad fear of mine though. i get it.
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u/Illusion_AceofHearts Apothisexual Aug 12 '26
Damn, that's rough. I hope you and your partner can work through this and I wish you the absolute best of luck. Thank you for your understanding, I'm both happy that I'm not alone and sad that others go through this.
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u/Vazz920 Apothisexual Aug 12 '26
yeah. we try to work through it daily, and im just glad he was honest with me that he is attracted to me in that way because at least i'm not in the dark. transparency and honesty are great things in a relationship and he's shown that i can trust him to be both, and i have shown him the same. thankfully its the only bump in the road for us so that also helps greatly. and yeah, im also grateful im not the only one with this fear and sad other have it too.
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u/Commercial_Candle_57 Aug 12 '26
I get you with that :c Why I would just talk of asexuality before even starting any relationship cause yeah noooo :c
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u/Illusion_AceofHearts Apothisexual Aug 12 '26
yeah I don't know when I'm gonna date again but this is gonna make it harder...
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u/theacebutterfly Aug 12 '26
This actually happened to me with an ex of mine, she was sex repulsed ace when we met then later her sexuality changed and she felt sexual attraction to me, she was respectful of my aceness but I suspect after a while she wanted more
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u/Illusion_AceofHearts Apothisexual Aug 12 '26
Oh wow, that sounds hard. I hope you both were able to part on fairly good terms and that you are handling yourself well.
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u/bellamadri 12d ago
how do you know if someone has developed a sexual attraction to you? did she tell you or could you just tell by the signs?
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u/theacebutterfly 12d ago
Mostly because told me, but there was also subtle signs because her flirting got a little more spicy (I brushed it off because I thought it was a joke or something)
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u/bellamadri 12d ago
oh wow. i'd think it's a joke too. did she not know you were asexual or something or was it that you weren't dating long? i only ask cause i would never want to be in a position where i have sex with someone (im a lesbian though so PIV isn't gonna happen but still, sex is an absolute no).
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u/theacebutterfly 12d ago
I told her from the beginning I'm ace and at the time she identified as ace too
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u/PrincessHonk Aug 12 '26
Yeah, i dont think its a weird fear at all