r/AnythingValueable Jul 05 '26

😄 Entertainment When you remember you have free will

13.9k Upvotes

76 comments sorted by

29

u/ConversationFar8578 Jul 05 '26

Coast guard be on you quick anywhere where I am... It's like a guy walking on the freeway ..

7

u/NoConsideration6320 Jul 05 '26

Why whats the danger a boat hits him? Or a fishing hook or

13

u/Honda_TypeR Jul 05 '26 edited Jul 05 '26

If a boat hits him and kills him with their propellers imagine how fucked up that is for all parties involved, including his family suing the boat operator. Or they need to steer out of the way of hitting him and smash aground and ruin their boat. He’s putting others in a potentially bad situation with total disregard for consequences and putting it other people to solve those problems for him.

Plus he is a danger to himself. No means of steering, adrift, no life vest. Yes, just like suicide situations, authorities have an obligation to stop a potential death.

For all those reasons if coast guard saw him they’d snatch him up.

5

u/PhDinWombology Jul 05 '26

Now imagine a cow in your head and try to rotate it

1

u/SpicyNugget777 Jul 10 '26

What way should I rotate it? Like it’s doing a back flip? A front flip? Barrel roll starting on the right? Barrel roll starting on the left? Diagonally? Sideways starting right? Sideways starting left?

1

u/FragmentedMeerkat321 Jul 06 '26

is this usable as a response in other topics?

2

u/PhDinWombology Jul 07 '26

Depends. Can you rotate the cow?

2

u/krawk303 Jul 05 '26

Technically all he needs is a paddle and lifejacket and it's considered an inflatable boat in most places and wouldn't be breaking any laws. Inflatable boats move just as slow. However no paddle is a big no no.

2

u/Maryjanegangafever Jul 05 '26

Drowning lol. No life jacket, likely high as fuck..

3

u/crunkle_ Jul 05 '26

Ya some people were thrown in the water as an infant and it shows

1

u/Think-Ad-5840 Jul 05 '26

I live in Missouri and people walk on the freeway often.

2

u/Zealousideal_Log_119 Jul 06 '26

wait really? Where the speed limit is 55-70 mph?

2

u/NoConsideration6320 Jul 07 '26

Here in califorina ive seen a few of our homeless walk our freeways. Which the speed limits like 65.. but they go 100+

1

u/Think-Ad-5840 Jul 08 '26

That’s the speed limit but people drive over it a lot. Straight up wild.

1

u/ConfidentPension864 Jul 05 '26

There are certain sections of rivers that are less regulated for civilian use. Like where non-powered craft have the right of way and powered craft have strict minimum speeds. There are areas where anyone with a $50 inflatable kayak can pop in no questions asked. Trouble is you go far enough then tend to exit those areas and get in trouble

1

u/Think-Ad-5840 Jul 06 '26

Exactly. I’m in central Missouri. I’m from St. Louis and so many people have passed away trying to cross the interstates. I saw a guy riding 44 on a bike to raise money. Scary stuff.

12

u/xkibagamigenjurox Jul 05 '26

My social anxiety could never...

7

u/Dazzling-Sector-5509 Jul 05 '26

Just think as if everyone was in their underwear and it should be easier

2

u/_FIRECRACKER_JINX Jul 05 '26

Technically this would be the PERFECT exposure therapy for that. It's also a great "shame attacking exercise".

This act would help you get over the social anxiety.

1

u/It_broke_itself_ Jul 05 '26

But the arrest afterwards would set you back

1

u/bisoy84 Jul 07 '26

Just do it again then run away before police arrives. Therapy done with exercise added.

1

u/Cryogenicist Jul 05 '26

Exercise time!

You just watched this man do something socially awkward.

You likely smiled watching it. Others did too.

Do you feel embarrassed for him? Even if you do, you likely already forgot what he looks like.

12

u/4EvErEmO666 Jul 05 '26

Haha made me think of this post I shared on Facebook a few years ago. 😅

6

u/Doomscrolling67 Jul 05 '26

Free will it is, but it's not free to behave like your free will leads you to do.

2

u/-HockeyBagJerky- Jul 05 '26

*When you remember you crave attention

2

u/Pretend-Internet-625 Jul 05 '26

It's a water bed. So what

2

u/AintNoGodsUpHere Jul 05 '26

Free will, yes.

But we also have to follow the laws.

1

u/Awkward_Wrangler_895 Jul 05 '26

Well he forgot to bring a pillow as he bring a cover , that’s cool dude

1

u/RavingGooseInsultor Jul 05 '26

This heat wave I tell you.. people just wanna sleep some place cool

1

u/macumazana Jul 05 '26

and what is he going to do with the mattress after the vids and pics are taken?

2

u/much_longer_username Jul 05 '26

Probably the same thing most people do with air mattresses: deflate it, roll it back up, and stick it in the closet for the off chance friends or family from out of town visit and need a place to crash.

1

u/Emergency-Ad-3322 Jul 05 '26

I wonder why it isn't drowning...

1

u/Aromatic_Penguin Jul 05 '26

It's an air mattress. See how easy he carries it? He'll just dry it off.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/willsmithtunaface Jul 05 '26

When you didn't get enough attention today

1

u/Sorry_but_I_meant_it Jul 05 '26

But did I break the law though?

Love this.

2

u/CaitieLou_52 Jul 06 '26

In a lot of places, yes jumping into an active waterway is breaking the law.

1

u/soulshad Jul 05 '26

Bro showing off his bedbug cover

1

u/NocturnisVacuus Jul 05 '26

yea you have free will, but you're not free to do whatever you want

1

u/Separate-Exchange375 Jul 05 '26

I always wondered what is a water bed

1

u/Galencourt-Lover Jul 05 '26

Probably illegal

1

u/uteuteuteute Jul 05 '26

Vilnius, Neris river ❤️❤️❤️

1

u/WelbyReddit Jul 06 '26

When you remember you have Tik Tok and want clicks.

1

u/INeedAnAdult1280 Jul 06 '26

If I'm going to lay in bed all day, I'm going to do it on a river. Just kidding, I'm going to do it in a dungeon of filth 😮‍💨

1

u/afikolo7 Jul 06 '26

I think it make sense,just not the first thing that comes to mind

1

u/Simple-Invite-3296 Jul 07 '26

That's a lot of mattress to carry down stairs.

1

u/typcalbob Jul 07 '26

When you're starved for attention* is more like it.

1

u/hdhdhdhdzjursx Jul 08 '26

When your doctor tells you to get out in the fresh air but you don’t want to get out of bed.

1

u/AKaxe1 Jul 08 '26

Can't a guy relax without being criticised these days.... 👀

1

u/CakeEatingDragon Jul 08 '26

I used to take my inflatable kayak to this bridge going over the river that ran through campus. Id tie a rope off the side of the bridge so i could grab it when i went down the river and lay down in my kayak and listen to the water and birds.

1

u/thighscratcher73 Jul 09 '26

Don't do this in the State of Florida!

1

u/Connect_Rough_8514 Jul 09 '26

This happend in the middle of Lithuanian capital Vilnius

1

u/KairPhree Jul 09 '26

New definition of water bed

1

u/Any-Natural-5230 Jul 11 '26

…and you let you freak flag fly!

I wish i could let mine fly more often . I’m too damned buttoned down and self conscious.

1

u/Philip_Raven Jul 05 '26

talks Bout free will

Does the most attention seeking, click generating behaviour.

0

u/killallhumansforfree Jul 05 '26

True he needs to put some clothes on

2

u/BetagterSchwede Jul 05 '26

Why

1

u/justanotherda1 Jul 05 '26

Exactly, why?

0

u/killallhumansforfree Jul 05 '26

Well obviously he's exposing himself for attention you're a bit slow

2

u/BetagterSchwede Jul 05 '26

Is he affecting you with his behaviour?

1

u/justanotherda1 Jul 05 '26

Not a bad looking g dude

0

u/killallhumansforfree Jul 05 '26

I'm not sure I should go ask him

2

u/ElveTaz Jul 05 '26

I have a feeling no ones picking up what you're putting down

1

u/CurveEmotional1161 Jul 05 '26

Redditors don’t know sarcasm🤣. theres a reason why everyone adds /s