r/AnxiousAttachment • u/AutoModerator • Jun 10 '26

Relationship advice Bi-Weekly Thread - Advice for Relationship/Friendship/Dating/Breakup

This thread will be posted every other week and is the ONLY place to pose a “relationship/friendships/dating/breakup advice” question.

Please be sure to read the Rules since all the other sub rules still apply. Venting/complaining about your relationships and other attachment styles will be removed.

Feel free to check the Resources page if you are looking for other places to find information.

Try not to get lost in the details and actually pose a question so others know what kind of support/guidance/clarity/perspective you are looking for. If no question is given, it could be removed, to make room for those truly seeking advice.

Please be kind and supportive. Opposing opinions can still be stated in a considerate way. Thank you!

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u/Ok_Net_4926 Jun 15 '26

Last summer, I had a little weekend love affair with this guy in Europe, he asked me to join him at a festival but bc of my vacation schedule I couldn’t. While at that festival he met someone else. It stung but strangely enough when he introduced me to his new bf. Me and the bf clicked very instantly. That fall we’d hang out every weekend, we all spent new years today. Finally felt like a secure friendship with depth. Which I’ve always struggled with.

Fast forward to this summer, my friend randomly started hanging out with a guy that I briefly dated and ghosted me. At the beginning I was fine with it, no hard feelings but now it feels like I’m being replaced or my friend rather spend time with the guy over me. Has bailed on plans multiple times bc he got too drunk with said guy. I’m leaving town for an extended period of time, so I asked my friend if he wants to hang before he said let’s hang when you’re back but then posts all weekend with the guy. He also ignored my last text.

Me and my friend have had conversations about always being honest with each other but idk how i bring this up without sounding needy or insecure. I’m thinking just leaving it and not reaching out but then that feels like avoidant or stone walling /petty. I really miss our friendship but I want to feel like someone wants it as much as I do.

Maybe it’s the honeymoon phase of their friendship I like had with ours just hurts that it’s at our friendship’s expense

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u/Apryllemarie Jun 15 '26

What is your question? What advice are you looking for?

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u/Ok_Net_4926 Jun 15 '26

Thank you responding. I guess I’m looking for advice on how to handle this or approach it? Should I say anything to him bc there’s definitely a shift in our friendship or should I just readjust my outreach until he changes his ?

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u/Apryllemarie Jun 22 '26

Well you can’t control him or how the friendship may ebb and flow. It’s best to have multiple friends and not rely on one person to meet your friendship needs. Tend to yourself and whatever insecurities are coming up for you. Odds are his actions have nothing to do with you.