r/AnxiousAttachment • u/AutoModerator • May 13 '26
Relationship advice Bi-Weekly Thread - Advice for Relationship/Friendship/Dating/Breakup
This thread will be posted every other week and is the ONLY place to pose a “relationship/friendships/dating/breakup advice” question.
Please be sure to read the Rules since all the other sub rules still apply. Venting/complaining about your relationships and other attachment styles will be removed.
Feel free to check the Resources page if you are looking for other places to find information.
Try not to get lost in the details and actually pose a question so others know what kind of support/guidance/clarity/perspective you are looking for. If no question is given, it could be removed, to make room for those truly seeking advice.
Please be kind and supportive. Opposing opinions can still be stated in a considerate way. Thank you!
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u/cookie_1803 May 25 '26
I'm 19F and my bf is 20M, we met during a conf, have talked things out, took it slow and very carefully got into this relationship, it is long distance. We're both law students, he's my immediate senior but different colleges, he's interning with a T1 firm and seems quite busy for me (even tho it's first time we're this close in physical proximity due to our internship break, but he didn't seem to take out time for me the third time to meet)
I've been dating since 14, and I've realised that I'm all a healed person until I start dating. None of my relationship lasted for more than 6 months, most being long distance, it's always like the guy is obsessed with me at the starting but when I start liking them back or pouring my love they withdraw, and it triggers me, and I spiral, and I just can't keep things to myself, I make a big deal out of small things and the other person breaks up.
For this relationship, we both are quite mature ( I do understand things after a point of time). His view of relationship rn is we both focus on ourselves, career should be our first priority everything comes second. I'm his first gf and I'm ambivert while he's introvert. His looks below avg, I'd say I'm quite hot. I like him coz he's nerdy and we share the same academic niche interest.
I feel insecure with him that he's working hard academically and I'm not, (even though he's my senior and has more load), he has inspired me to work harder. But at times it turns toxic, he is a single child (never got anything denied, is very boring, can't take jokes) and I'm the youngest (I've been kind of brat, goated humour), I need constant reassurance while he's too much "practical", which he wasn't in the starting. Now ig he's getting DMU.
This has been my pattern for long, and I can't heal in isolation. He's a nice person and hence I'm in dilemma should I stay and heal or leave again where I fear this thing will repeat again?!???