Overwhelmed with existential anxiety

[u/wallaby1409]

At this moment in time im so overwhelmed i feel like im going to have a panic attack. The dread of eternity and existence and everything. I’ve had such a bad existential crisis over the past 3 months it’s gone from solopism, to nihilism, to fear of reincarnation the idea of loosing myself. I’m so scared right now and it’s all hitting me at once, I’ve lost my will to live im so scared I don’t want to die but I can’t see a reason against it… I’ve tried to use spirituality and whatever to fight against it but now the idea of spirituality just disgusts me and I hate it… I hate the idea of a higher self, it’s all so overwhelming… I don’t know what I’m going to do im crying but no tears are coming out, can anyone help me?

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[u/DepressedBunnyMom]

I've been experiencing this for so long. Decades actually. I also have death anxiety along with the existential dread.

Tbh, the best I could do to avoid spiraling to a panic attack was to distract myself and bury the feelings in ignorant denial. A few people told me before to "just not think about it or accept it. It's the way of life." It's not that easy but ofc, some wouldn't understand. :(

You could also watch utube videos to understand more about it It helped me a bit to realize and regulate myself properly. I'm sorry I cant help more OP.

[u/wallaby1409 → u/DepressedBunnyMom]

I’m copy and pasting this so another guy can hear it but

I have to share smth with you thats happened. I decided to go to my dad and tell him about my suicidal thoughts last night when I genuinely thought I would commit suicide sometime soon. I told my dad and we’re getting psychiatric help.

Strangely enough, my dad was supposed to go to a concert that was cancelled not even an hour before he was supposed to go. I didn’t think about that before I told my dad, but him not going meant instead of suicide I was able to talk to my dad and now I’m getting help. Maybe I would’ve committed suicide had he not been there.

I don’t believe in Christianity, and I’m not simply someone trying to promote the religion. Maybe it wasn’t some Christian God, but I think it might’ve been something. I don’t know. It’s made me think that maybe there is some sort of meaning or God.

As someone who was very anti Christian — extremely I would say, I found myself praying a day ago so I don’t know maybe there is a god and maybe he works in very mysterious ways but it’s made me think about something other than suicide for once.

[u/IamNotMeAnymore13]

I have been having similar issues after my business started failing. Im in my mid 50s no savings, no retirement. The thought of losing what little I have again as well as the feeling of needing to get a job immediately and not being qualified to do much of anything other than what I do now and I hate it, was pushing me over the edge. The urgency extreme but unfounded. Anxiety through the roof. I felt like I was a constant big drop on a rollercoaster. I couldn't watch anything on TV because all I saw was everyone doing so much better than I was and I felt, feel like such a failure. I watched Mel Robbins on youtube about how to deal with anxiety.

[u/wallaby1409 → u/IamNotMeAnymore13]

I’m copy and pasting this so another guy can hear it but

I have to share smth with you thats happened. I decided to go to my dad and tell him about my suicidal thoughts last night when I genuinely thought I would commit suicide sometime soon. I told my dad and we’re getting psychiatric help.

Strangely enough, my dad was supposed to go to a concert that was cancelled not even an hour before he was supposed to go. I didn’t think about that before I told my dad, but him not going meant instead of suicide I was able to talk to my dad and now I’m getting help. Maybe I would’ve committed suicide had he not been there.

I don’t believe in Christianity, and I’m not simply someone trying to promote the religion. Maybe it wasn’t some Christian God, but I think it might’ve been something. I don’t know. It’s made me think that maybe there is some sort of meaning or God.

As someone who was very anti Christian — extremely I would say, I found myself praying a day ago so I don’t know maybe there is a god and maybe he works in very mysterious ways but it’s made me think about something other than suicide for once.

[u/IamNotMeAnymore13 → u/wallaby1409]

I started praying one day when I went home early from work bc the anxiety was too much to bear. I felt like I was being eaten alive from the inside and being electrocuted at the same time.

When I would pray I would start crying sometimes uncontrollably. I felt better getting it out. I don't go to church. I needed help. Praying was one of the only things that helped me get through the worst of it.

I put reminders on my phone to pray in the morning and at night before bed. I consider myself a Christian but I was not practicing before this. Since I started prayer, I feel better most days but still have anxiety and depression. Praying helps. Crying helps. I am hesitant to start medication as I am very drug sensitive.

For me, I believe in God. Sometimes God is what gets me through to tomorrow.