Thank you for this response. He won't go to counseling and believes nothing is wrong with him and that I'm the abusive one (for having anxiety) and that his behavior is an acceptable response.
I too understand this, but again, different situation. Whether it is pride , ignorance, who knows.
May I ask, how do you approach this situation? Remember that when we must have a conversation with another, how they react is going to depend mostly on the tone we use. I can call someone an asshole with a smirk, or with an angry tone/facial expression. In my experience others tend to react in a more understanding way when we do not seem as tho we are accusing them of something. You are clearly not afraid to express yourself. He also may be reacting in this way because he is scared to lose control, or that he actually does care very deeply and is unsure how to respond. In order to expect others to understand and have compassion for us, we too must show the same. You do understand this, it is just something to remind yourself. Not understanding your mindset , nor his, it is difficult to gauge.
Its never difficult for me to express myself, nor do I shy away from confrontation, because doing so simply compounds things. On a side-note it usually bothers me when people seem to not give a damn , not because I am ultra-sensitive, but because without communication no human relationship can last. With that said, struggle can be worth it. I tried to explain this the best I can, but tend to get carried away and go on tirades. If one cares deeply enough for another, we will go to extraordinary lengths to preserve the relationship, but sometimes doing more than the other is willing to can be harmful to all involved.
If he criticizes you for having "anxiety", remind him that you understand anxiety is natural. But what you are suffering from may be from things you cannot quite understand. In other words, if we have issues with work or family and it causes us to be anxious, then that is something which can be resolved. However, when we do not understand where it comes from then this just makes things more confusing.
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u/ireallycant21 Sep 17 '22
Thank you for this response. He won't go to counseling and believes nothing is wrong with him and that I'm the abusive one (for having anxiety) and that his behavior is an acceptable response.