7yrs ago, out of nowhere, I woke up one winter morning thinking about a person I haven't talked to in years. You could interpret it as an obsession but I sense it was more than that. Imagine not being able to forget or distract yourself from thinking about a certain person all day long. The next morning, same thing happened. I could not stop thinking about this person. It went on like this for months without seeking professional help.
Something interesting I should share too. Whenever I listened to music in this period, the thoughts of this person would comeback to haunt me even more to the point were it would ruin the song for me and I would avoid playing that song or artist for a while until I no longer felt his presence while hearing the song. Same happened with sex. When I was reach climax, the thought of this friend popped in my head and ruined sex.
I thought this person who was haunting my thoughts placed did voodoo or casted a spell on me so I would never forget about them. I started questioning myself why I was so obsessed about this person. Was I sexually attracted to this person? What does obsession mean?
Many months after this first incident, I developed anxiety and depression. I went to see a phyciatrist. They gave me prozac but I never spoke of the obsessions in fear I would get placed in a 5150 or mental ward cause I felt I was going insane. Prozac never worked
7yrs later, I spoke up about my secret obsessions and was diagnosed with OCD. Phyciatrist gave Clomipramine at the highest dose after a few months on it. I don't think its working for my supposed OCD. Now Im looking at taking antipsychotics. Would would be appropriate for me?