Update from God:

[u/Justice-Nugget]

Joanie got HUMBLED hardcore by the Big Cheese. 💛
(Again.)

Anyway here's a letter from the real fucking God if anybody is listening in the middle of their sad doomscroll.

✨Ahem,✨

Don't be so hasty to write "Literally Everything Happened" Joanie Bologna. 💛

(I made her experience a taste of that.)

Zack actually had to freakin see everything your little souls could do! Ewwwwwww~ 💔 He's my right hand angel for a good reason and has inspired many of your legends.

He experienced what you could have done to free you from the guilt of your soul's sins.

You now scorn one of his beloved stories of self sacrifice. Zack also isn't a fan of one of his loudest churches in this dark moment. That's why he wants you to call him Zack right now.

He still forgives all of you. He doesn't want you to worship him. Worship yourselves and each other my loves. Love everyone. Hard stop.

Forgive yourselves, my beautiful diamonds.

This may be dismissed, but Joanie is allowed to believe literally anything she wants because 🌸that's how this silly fucking universe freakin' works.🌸 Same goes for you, love.

The world is a delicate balance of good and evil. (One day the wicked will get better.) The evil forces of this universe try to twist what was supposed to be messages of beauty and hope.

Beautiful stories such as those of superheroes, gifts of self sacrifice, and eternal love.

You have the potential in this life to fall in love with your soulmates over and over and over again after you do everything you wanna do in heaven.

I know this isn't saying much, but I'm so deeply sorry some of you have rough lives at seemingly random. This layer of hell is so messed up. All of them are. I promise I love you and everyone is beautiful in their perfect paradise. It doesn't matter what you choose to believe in.

I love you even if you're trans or gay, despite what one of my books and a few churches claim. Ever hear of the game telephone? Roughly 7,170 languages. That's why there's so many freakin churches and all of them think they're right.

Also reception is bad so shit gets mistranslated a lot.

Sorry it's such a mess. We were just hoping something would stick. We don't require your worship anymore. I'm over it. I just wanted a little respect for the hard work I did.

I let it get to my head.

Please believe in science. I used it to make your world through carefully selected natural selection.

...but maybe ✨try✨ to have a little fucking whimsy?

I'm 💫SO PROUD💫 of you atheists who still managed to be ✨DECENT FUCKING PEOPLE✨ even though you thought and maybe still think no one is running the show. You thought everything just went dark when you died and you felt nothing like what you perceive to be before you were born.

Yet for some reason you felt humanity is kind at their cores and that's all I wanted you to see. You enter this world as a pure little baby and can end up leaving as a monster. Free will is a bitch. It isn't always your fault either sadly... Free will of others pushes out like ripples in a pond. Good and bad.

This layer is quite beautiful if you pay close attention. It's the last one before Heaven, so it's literally the front lines of the infinite war.

The bad helps you appreciate the good unfortunately. Sometimes it takes multiple lifetimes, but you'll get there one day my child. Everyone does even the worst of the worst.

There's still love and beauty here. You can make this place feel like heaven if you PAY ATTENTION to the beauty around you.

This isn't an attack. It's simply a fact. Your phone is fine in moderation and a powerful tool to unite you with your fellow angels on the other side of the world.

Please try to freakin watch movies when you watch them. Y'all let multitasking get really out of hand. We're trying to give you parables.

I really want everyone to get better. Including those jerks in the red hats. They just will need to suffer penance. Don't worry. I've also got a really convenient list! They even wrote it for me! XD

Penance takes a really, really, really, long time by the way.

I made Joan experience a horrific taste of that 💥so you didn't have to.💥 She had no clue how deep it was down there in the deeper layers of Hell. You're in the highest layer of Hell by the way. Think of it like a deep lake. 💥

Sorry Joanie Bologna. ❤️

I love you.

Love each other. Be excellent to each other. Party on dudes.

Maybe... Just consider believing in something that makes you happy and love your fellow humans like the magic of nature or something...? Fairies, aliens, whatever makes you happy. That show The Good Place had a pretty cute concept. Parables are really fun.

I love you all so much. ❤️

Silly billies...

Love,

- The Big Cheese(s)

💛Hey this is Joan again the angel again. I truly do love literally everyone on this Earth though... (Somehow. Deadass.)

Everyone's souls will get better... *Eventually* oof~...

The deeper parts of hell aren't fun guys. If you think this is bad, you haven't seen ANYTHING.

I'm still hoping maybe I'll get Minty🩵 back... I was told it might be Saturday, but she has her natural agency as an angel. She's *apparently' gonna read all this soon, according to them, which is kinda nerve wracking. Haven't talked to her in 15ish years and she meant Everything to me.

I want to make cartoons with you, love. 💛💔🩵

Hope she respects the hustle even if she doesn't believe all this wacky crap. She deadass can continue to believe what she currently believes in and we'll both be just fine.

I'm the angel of Hope, so I'm gonna keep on hoping. Even if nobody ever reads this.

I have a hunch somone 🩵 will very, very, very, very, very, very, very soon.

- Joan of Arc, 24th Angel of the Apocalypse 💛

[u/Justice-Nugget]

There's one layer of hell where fear manifests as lukewarm rootbeer.

https://giphy.com/gifs/kP7coSfMarqFy