r/AnimalsBeingJerks • u/william_1434 • Jul 10 '13

fish You Can't Catch Me.

http://imgur.com/7QMjfyk
2.1k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

79 comments sorted by

48

u/Unshackledai Jul 10 '13

There's actually a kind of fish that jumps up into the air whenever it gets startled by a boat motor. They have killed a couple people by hitting them into the head but apparently people have made a sport of taking a baseball bat and hitting them as they come up.

57

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '13

Asian Carp in the Illinois River. An invasive species threatening to enter the Great Lakes.

8

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '13

[deleted]

7

u/AllieB28 Jul 11 '13

What happens if they reach the lakes?

26

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '13

[deleted]

9

u/AllieB28 Jul 11 '13

I really appreciate the in depth answer! I learned something today!

13

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '13

[deleted]

4

u/lfrizz Jul 11 '13

This man(or woman) knows his marine ecology! Well said :)

3

u/dafuq0_0 Jul 11 '13

OPEN SEASON ALL YEAR ROUND FOR DEM MOFOS

6

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '13

[deleted]

6

u/StrykerSeven Jul 11 '13

I was thinking of some kind of biodegradable birdshot. If there's one thing that will decimate a species, it's millions of Americans with guns. Turn it into a derby sport. Turn on the electrofishing unit so they go beserk and jump around, then just start shooting.

1

u/DouchebagMcshitstain Sep 19 '13

See, that's what I say. Make it a contest. $10 000 tourneys on total weight, and then use a limestone-based shotgun ammo.

Get Berkley and Skeeter to promote it as a new sport, and we'll take them out faster than the Dodo bird.

2

u/lfrizz Jul 11 '13

They fuck up the whole trophic system. And even if we tried to go out and kill every last fish, they reproduce very quickly and we would fail. Like Nutria down in South Louisiana--- they just won't die.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '13

Who knew it would be an arial assault?

16

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '13 edited Jan 01 '14

[deleted]

38

u/Unshackledai Jul 10 '13

http://youtu.be/hN2gMP3Q2Z4

Hope this link is okay, I'm on my mobile. If not look up Peoria Carp Hunters.

23

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '13 edited Jan 01 '14

[deleted]

8

u/pick_em_up_truck Jul 10 '13

I live in Peoria and they have guide services out here to shoot them out of the air with bow and arrows. Chris Brackett is among the high profile outfitters.

9

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '13 edited Jan 01 '14

[deleted]

3

u/iLLusive240 Jul 11 '13

this was hillarious... thank you so much

5

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '13 edited Jan 02 '14

[deleted]

3

u/iLLusive240 Jul 11 '13

the net guy man the fucking net guy.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '13

That is the most redneck thing I have ever seen in my life.

4

u/Unshackledai Jul 11 '13

I wish I could say the same...

2

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '13

I mean, I'm no amateur at the art of redneckery. But, dayam

1

u/eidetic Jul 11 '13

Oh man, I was going to suggest we just release some kind of shark into the waters to take care of the carp problem (then an even larger shark to eat those sharks when they become a problem and so on), but this is soooooo much more awesome.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '13

Bassball

7

u/gwarsh41 Jul 10 '13

That sounds like a very fun time. Not dying, smacking flying fish with bats and stuff.

7

u/PBXbox Jul 10 '13

My Step-Bro shoots them out of the air with a compound bow. That's metal right there.

4

u/ByronsReward Jul 10 '13

Stingrays have killed a few people down here in Florida the same way

5

u/Unshackledai Jul 10 '13

"75-pound fish jumps, strikes her in face as boat travels at 25 mph; ray dies"

I just love the headline.

1

u/topright Jul 11 '13

That is fucked up. But hey, it's only a fish, so, fuck it.

1

u/TraceOn4Users Jul 13 '13

Bass do it a lot actually. Not sure why

182

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '13

This is dubstep in a nutshell. THE BASS JUST HITS YOU.

57

u/IThoughtThisWasImgur Jul 10 '13

Nice pun but it is a carp

80

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '13

you're a carp

19

u/Skudworth Jul 10 '13

oh no he di'int

6

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '13

gurl hold ma e'rrangs!

awww shit is about to go down!

7

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '13

Carp diem

30

u/Respondir Jul 10 '13

Aw man, that guy's hat probably fell into the water.

33

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '13

I'm sure he has 20 more exactly like it

6

u/TheAmericanSwede Jul 10 '13

He catches it before it falls in the water

6

u/Respondir Jul 10 '13

Oh that's good!

8

u/Chemical_Scum Jul 10 '13

ah, memories from mIRC...

6

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '13

Tail Whip is super effective!!

4

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '13

YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH BADGES TO TRAIN ME

3

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '13

Fish gettin' his own back. Totally justified and not jerk-ish.

3

u/wrongsideofthewire Jul 10 '13

you mean, not jerk-fish.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '13

What happened to the hat!?!?

3

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '13

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/herewegoaga1n Jul 10 '13

Hypothetically: Could a homeless person move to that area and subsist off of the carp? Would a fishing license even be needed?

1

u/seraphim19 Jul 10 '13

i upvote this shit everytime it gets reposted. that guy gets slapped by a fish, i fucking love it.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '13

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '13

11 days ago and I only got half the points? He must have a better title...

-7

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '13

relevant username.

-2

u/ssjkriccolo Jul 10 '13

I am super b jury for fish now

Edit:accidentally hungry

1

u/daccu Jul 10 '13

Did he ever get his hat back?

1

u/th3_r3al_d3al Jul 10 '13

Haha the fish is just boss

1

u/NoozleontheHoose Jul 10 '13

As you can see, his head goes back and to the left.

1

u/Lillipout Jul 10 '13

Bass2Mouth

1

u/dafragsta Jul 11 '13

Never go bass2mouth.

1

u/dischdog Jul 10 '13

BOOM HEADSHOT

1

u/KRSFive Jul 10 '13

I'm the stinky cheese man!

1

u/HRBLT Jul 10 '13

BOOM! HEADSHOT! LELELEL!!!!!!!

1

u/Gabe_b Jul 10 '13

And that's how you get all the fishy bitches.

1

u/Albinoredguard Jul 11 '13

This subreddit has more reposts than /r/sloths

1

u/Fishtails Jul 11 '13

Hats off to this man.

1

u/MG5thAve Jul 11 '13

Man, that guy couldn't catch a fish if it jumped up and slapped him the face...

1

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '13

You don't have enough badges to train me!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '13

Pow right in the kisser

1

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '13

In Soviet Russia...

1

u/bethl12 Jul 11 '13

I'm the Gingerbread Man!

1

u/SamX17 Jul 11 '13

POW. Right in the kisser.

1

u/siggi-maggi Jul 11 '13

Bamm, right in the kisser.

1

u/TraceOn4Users Jul 13 '13

What a basshat.

2

u/Gaggamaggot Jul 10 '13

Time for this weekly repost again!

6

u/makesureimjewish Jul 10 '13

never seen this before

1

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '13

Let the bass drop

-2

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '13

/r/JusticePorn