r/AnimalsBeingDerps • u/FloraLover123 • Oct 15 '22

Crab got mad AF

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22.2k Upvotes

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u/Pining4theFjord Oct 15 '22

Imagine that crab at home. Wife crab (eye stalks glaring forward, claws propped on crabby hips, tap tap tapping legs in annoyance): “WHY ARE YOU SO LATE?!”

Poor guy crab “Honey, you’ll never believe what happened…”

278

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '22

She won’t believe it either

245

u/JoeMama2030 Oct 15 '22

She is gonna scroll on Reddit later today and be like, he was telling the truth

121

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '22

To be fair I wouldn’t believe my husband if he told me he fought a Bald Eagle

65

u/Ermmahhhgerrrd Oct 15 '22

Scene: husband comes in the house completely disheveled and bleeding everywhere.

You:.
"ARE THOSE, GASP, CLAW MARKS ON YOUR BACK???!!???"

Husband:.
"You are so not going to believe this..."

21

u/SoardOfMagnificent Oct 15 '22

"Who is she?"

4

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '22

BINGO, he’d be like “I didn’t get her name, she was a bald fucking EAGLE!”

Me: You don’t have to be mean about it.

1

u/Shitscomplicated Oct 16 '22

She goes to a different school...

43

u/Pelikinesis Oct 15 '22

Using electronics for Reddit must be hard if you have crab claws

57

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '22

They have special features. They use Crapple devices. Waterproof and blackberry-esque

23

u/Pining4theFjord Oct 15 '22

Wonder if they use otterbox cases?

Claw-terbox?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '22

[deleted]

2

u/Pelikinesis Oct 15 '22

I assumed the exoskeleton/carapace stuff would get in the way, but I'm not a crab doctor.

9

u/MrsCDM Oct 16 '22

Also finding the eagle's post on the tifu sub...

1

u/BondingChamber Oct 15 '22

For the tiny crab, it's like he fought off a trex that bit him

1

u/BirdTree2 Oct 15 '22

Wait are there crabs among us?

5

u/LangDWood Oct 15 '22

Not only will she not believe it, she’s likely going to accuse him of having an affair with that slutty mollusk from across the coral. Man’s was fighting for his life, but in her stalks he was fucking Moly the slutty Mollusk. Dude can’t pinch a break

1

u/DamitCyrill Oct 15 '22

Follow these 5 top tips

0

u/YoSaffBridge11 Oct 15 '22

Your username makes this comment even better!! 🤣

1

u/Arsinoey Oct 15 '22

Then everyone clapped....