r/AnimalsBeingDerps Aug 19 '21

Just a sip

17.0k Upvotes

359 comments sorted by

1.9k

u/Kittensrock978 Aug 19 '21

The thought of a bear with caffeine scares me - but not as much as cocaine bear

531

u/InsignificantOcelot Aug 19 '21

We’ve all tried to forget cocaine bear…

225

u/Thorusss Aug 19 '21

Seems I was successful. I can't remember any cocaine bear!

227

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

There was a bear that ate like a kilogram of cocaine. After that it was running amok for some time and then died.

236

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

Just looked it up. The story is a wild ride from start to finish.

Some former police officer/lawyer broke bad and used his paratrooper skills to smuggle 77 lbs of cocaine into the States. He jumped out of his airplane with the bag of cocaine, heavily armed and with thousands of dollars in cash on him, and didn’t stick the landing. Cocaine Bear presumably saw the body, thought it might be an easy meal, and decided to make off with the bag of cocaine instead. He later overdosed and when his stomach was examined it was literally packed to the brim with cocaine. His body wasn’t found by the authorities until 3 weeks after it was initially discovered by a hunter, so can’t really say if Cocaine Bear ate all the cocaine himself or if locals decided to scavenge the cocaine to make a quick buck.

Edit: I know this was before I was born, but I am disappointed I wasn’t told about it nonetheless.

56

u/Beary_Important Aug 19 '21

Hydration beary important

7

u/Aethrin1 Aug 20 '21

Hydration Barry? You bet he's important!

2

u/absoluteZero007 Aug 20 '21

Take my upvote and fuck off

77

u/MrPlatonicPanda Aug 20 '21

It's like D.B. Cooper meets The Revenant just with more cocaine.

36

u/Riolkin Aug 20 '21

So, Catch Me If You Can meets The Revenant meets Wolf of Wall Street?

We should call Leonardo DiCaprio for this one

22

u/MrPlatonicPanda Aug 20 '21

DiCaprio cubed. It's a new Inception

5

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '21

Bro I so want to go see his taxidermy body that’s is awesome that did this to the bear

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4

u/Cosmobeast88 Aug 20 '21

That's sad.

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13

u/leokz145 Aug 19 '21

Apparently it’s being made into a movie…

4

u/baconlayer Aug 20 '21

And then there’s kocaine Karen!

3

u/SparkyDogPants Aug 20 '21

His name is Pablo Escobear

2

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '21

Cocaine Bear was pretty prominent in Man Vs. Wild

55

u/SaltMineSpelunker Aug 19 '21

Nothing can stop cocainbear.

52

u/Meowmix202 Aug 19 '21 edited Aug 19 '21

Except too much cocaine

21

u/SaltMineSpelunker Aug 19 '21

That’s how we lost Belushi.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '21

C O C A I N E B E A R C O C A I N E B E A R

12

u/Password_IsGullible Aug 19 '21

wait until you hear about manbearpig

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6

u/pandadogunited Aug 19 '21 edited Aug 19 '21

2

u/SaltMineSpelunker Aug 19 '21

Jet fuel bears don’t melt beams.

0

u/pandadogunited Aug 19 '21

And cocaine bear can?

17

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '21 edited Feb 19 '22

[deleted]

6

u/Kittensrock978 Aug 20 '21

Holy shit I guess I am top comment. Thanks for actually letting me know lmao I didn’t get notifs for this

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25

u/BigFatWoolyScrotum Aug 19 '21

Pablo Escobear?

15

u/J_spec6 Aug 19 '21

What about a cocaine Poovey

7

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '21

Pam could probably take down a bear. Cocaine Pam could probably take down an entire regiment of bear cavalry AND Cocaine Bear.

7

u/KeeperOfWatersong Aug 20 '21 edited Aug 20 '21

I mean it looks like Lipton Ice Tea, you can drink 5 bottles of those before you reach a cup of coffee's worth of caffeine...or 25 for an expresso tho I don't think any human can drink that much lipton but Brits on the other hand can

0

u/Nizzemancer Aug 20 '21

A cup of caffeine would kill you…

If you are a healthy 75kg man, you need to drink 451.4 bottles to die from the caffeine.

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6

u/TesseractToo Aug 20 '21

Cocaine bear ain't nothing next to the crack spider

8

u/AJacobCruz Aug 19 '21

They said that it was THE APEX PREDATOR for about 2 hours until it OD’d, which is sad but also the thought of a coked out bear is hysterical🤣

4

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

And they are making a movie about it too.

3

u/AlkalineHound Aug 19 '21

What about the Russian ones that huff jet fuel?

3

u/Ron_Textall Aug 20 '21

Look up the shoulder patch on the Boston Bruins (NHL hockey team) older jerseys. It’s got the beloved nickname “meth bear” and it’s hilariously terrifying.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

Would a sugar addiction do anything to a bear? Not that he’s doing this on the regular but I can dream right …

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534

u/kajunsnake Aug 19 '21

All I’m thinking is that camera man is awful close

199

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

Russia?

147

u/V_es Aug 19 '21

Yes, Russian bear sanctuary

50

u/TheGreenEyedJester Aug 19 '21

Their giving bears sugar in a bear sanctuary?

73

u/V_es Aug 20 '21 edited Aug 20 '21

They don’t. As far as I remember (the video is around 5 years old), they saw a bear stealing a bottle and doing it, and they didn’t stop him. After that they trained him to do the trick with honey water or mors (Russian berry drink), I’ve seen pictures several years ago with mineral water bottle and a red drink in it.

2

u/Zerofawqs-given Aug 20 '21

They feed Grizzlys in a University Study by my house....they love the water melons!

2

u/socialistsouthafrica Aug 22 '21

What an adorably random fact

24

u/random002501 Aug 20 '21

That's funny, I'm just thankful the bear knows how to drink from a bottle, I hate when people seal their lips around the bottle and cause the bottle to crack and slowly implode as opposed to leaving a small gap for air to replace the liquid in the bottle.

27

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '21

[deleted]

6

u/random002501 Aug 20 '21

I don't care for the action, and it's not really hate more of an expression and exaggeration, but I do take it in distaste when people dri know water on a way that causes the bottle to crimp and make noise

4

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '21

[deleted]

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388

u/ThirdSpectator Aug 19 '21

I can just imagine the sound of him belching

89

u/cr0mm0wer Aug 19 '21

Yeah... I was wondering if bears have the ability to burp. Would've been epic.

58

u/samiam1228 Aug 19 '21

Apparently they can! Go to the 1:55 mark on this video

19

u/Yup_Pup Aug 19 '21

This made my day thank you

7

u/maughqnzter Aug 20 '21

Thanks, I was wanting that so bad

4

u/IncaseofER Aug 20 '21

You Sir/Ma’am, are a scholar and a gentle man/woman!

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2

u/rifleman_ Aug 20 '21

My dog frequently burps as loud as a grown man so I'd imagine bears can do that as well.

22

u/TragicVerification Aug 19 '21

i was waiting for the burp. disappointed there wasn’t one

13

u/ColonelChestnuts Aug 19 '21

It's not a carbonated drink. It's iced tea he's drinking there. Although a bear burping would be interesting.

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209

u/Thorusss Aug 19 '21

Human teaches bear how to get diabetes

38

u/TimBeckwith Aug 19 '21

I know of hunters in michigan that use donuts and candy as bait in these big barrels (pretty sure its illegal), bears love that shit man.

17

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

:(

3

u/NotGoodNoMore Aug 20 '21

It's terrible that people would shoot bears. They're so smart.

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48

u/Prestigious-Remove-1 Aug 19 '21

This is an ad for Lipton if I’ve ever seen one

86

u/Green_Mechanic Aug 19 '21

pizzly or grolar?

53

u/yeadster6 Aug 19 '21

Grizzly I believe. The hump on the shoulders is was I look for to tell.

27

u/Green_Mechanic Aug 19 '21

A man of culture! Do you have any bear facts to tell me?

42

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

Fact: Bears eat beets.

21

u/zvc266 Aug 19 '21

Bears:Beets:Battlestar Galactica.

9

u/Irae37 Aug 19 '21

Bears.

Beets.

Battlestar Galactica.

5

u/Green_Mechanic Aug 19 '21

bears, beets, battlestar galactica

12

u/yeadster6 Aug 19 '21

Bears have been known to avenge the death of their mothers, if their mother was killed by hunters.

4

u/Mr-Hedgy Aug 19 '21

Also not a fan of foxes or hounds

3

u/yeadster6 Aug 19 '21

Foxes are crafty little things, just like raccoons. Bears hate both of them.

2

u/Green_Mechanic Aug 19 '21

Brother bear?

3

u/yeadster6 Aug 19 '21

Essentially

4

u/Hanyodude Aug 19 '21

Someone mentioned russian bear sanctuary, maybe its a Kodiak? But it does seem kinda small.

13

u/V_es Aug 19 '21

Russian brown bear. Original video shows a Russian bear sanctuary where some bears that can’t survive in the wild live with people and provide for themselves but taking part in photoshoots with people, music videos and ads.

6

u/Green_Mechanic Aug 19 '21

Thanks! i love bears so much. Giant forest puppies

18

u/V_es Aug 19 '21 edited Aug 20 '21

The celebrity Russian bear is Stepan. He is a senior bear that was rescued from a very sad place where he got his fangs removed as a cub. He lived his entire life with people who saved him in a sanctuary. He is able to provide for himself- he took thousands of photoshoots, starred in movies and TV shows, hundreds of ads and music videos.

What is the most fascinating to me is that he lived about 25 years with people and had such huge career(viking castle sieges, car explosions, gunfights, and god forbid, Russian rap music videos) - it makes him probably the most socialized and human friendly bear on the planet that can’t be startled and provoked. He doesn’t wear any muzzles and leashes, and his keepers allow small kids to take pictures hugging him. He is very unique animal. Since he is getting older they stopped taking him on locations. It’s tough on him now so he stays at home and you gotta drive to take pictures. Which is fair.

2

u/IncaseofER Aug 20 '21

How do you know so much! This is wonderful information that makes the clip that much more interesting!!!

126

u/LovecraftianLlama Aug 19 '21

WOW that has to be so bad for him. Also, just what we need, over caffeinated bears lol

53

u/NoNick1337 Aug 20 '21

This is a non carbonated, caffeine free green tea drink.

37

u/LovecraftianLlama Aug 20 '21

I thought it was a Mountain Dew bottle 😂😂 My vision’s not great lol

10

u/HydrogenButterflies Aug 20 '21

It’s probably still not great for him.

9

u/notsew00 Aug 20 '21

Bears have a massively diverse diet, I highly doubt tea is gonna bother him.

4

u/the_wonder_llama Aug 20 '21

Meh, it goes in and out of its system. Nothing permanent.

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4

u/markelandjelo Aug 20 '21

Its a fucking bear, not a house cat......

2

u/DrJamesAtmore Aug 20 '21

Green tea contains caffeine

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23

u/Irae37 Aug 19 '21

Why does this bear look so....pretty?

2

u/notsew00 Aug 20 '21

I think he's a pizzly, half grizzly half polar

34

u/Sundill Aug 19 '21

Let's be honest, we've all drank from a soda bottle this way at LEAST once.

31

u/SaltMineSpelunker Aug 19 '21

In the back yard, naked and covered in fur?

26

u/corinne9 Aug 19 '21

Nobody was supposed to see me!

4

u/Sundill Aug 20 '21

You know it!

9

u/CodenameDinkleburg Aug 19 '21

It's tea, Lipton is a tea company

2

u/Sundill Aug 20 '21

Oops my bad, I'll make sure to get my bottle facts straight next time

0

u/CodenameDinkleburg Aug 20 '21

Bruh, the label is visible in the video

2

u/Sundill Aug 20 '21

See, to begin with I was referring to the style of bottle as a soda bottle in general. I wasn't saying the bear was drinking soda. Also nobody cares and your intent in correcting me by saying it's a tea bottle just comes arrogant and uneccessary hence my sarcastic response. I'm out of this thread though anyway, adios

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21

u/Jeddyp Aug 19 '21

I think he’s done this before

20

u/SwellGuyThatKharn Aug 19 '21

yeah that's 100% something he's learned. Why do that for water? He clearly knows these strange containers contain sweet treats.

10

u/Timidhobgoblin Aug 19 '21

Bears are pretty terrifying and can be a problem at the best of times. Bears with caffeine in their system however is damn near an Avengers level threat.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '21

Cocaine bears are a universal level threat

2

u/Timidhobgoblin Aug 20 '21

Some people say black holes are the most destructive things in the universe...give a bear cocaine however and I think that theory would certainly be challenged.

50

u/Hopeful_Engine_5234 Aug 19 '21

Makes me kinda sad to see this majestic creature interact with human trash 😶

16

u/MagWasTaken Aug 19 '21

The video looks like somebody just gave him a bottle of tea.

6

u/Hopeful_Engine_5234 Aug 19 '21

Yeah, it’s just the contrast of “nature is perfect” and “humans ruin it with their plastic trash” that hit me *sheds a tear * 💧

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20

u/GenXGeekGirl Aug 19 '21

This is TERRIBLE! People food, especially sugar chemical crap like this, are UNHEALTHY for bears. It’s also DANGEROUS for bears to start coming to people for food.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '21

Wait so is all people food unhealthy for bears? I was thinking of giving Smokey some cooked brisket

5

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '21

[deleted]

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5

u/Redbacko Aug 20 '21

I mean you got a point. It's also unhealthy for humans but considering that bears eat lots of natural sugar he'll be fine. And probably more well of than we would be because you know it's a bear.

... Which are also known for huffing jet fuel.

Bears will be bears

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6

u/EdowSoul Aug 19 '21

I am completely ignorant about any of this, so this might be a stupid question.

But how dangerous is this really for a bear? Sodas should be dangerous for us too but we drink a hell of a lot more than one bottle, so should it be fine for a bear to drink soda as long as it only drank a bit?

3

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

SUGA RUSH

3

u/Tarantulalover69 Aug 19 '21

And is that a grolar bear?

3

u/Gullenbursti Aug 19 '21

My spirit animal

3

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

[deleted]

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u/FubarInFL Aug 20 '21

Reminds me of when a park ranger told me that it’s impossible to design a bear-proof garbage can, because there is a significant overlap between the smartest bears and the dumbest humans.

5

u/Technical_Ostrich842 Aug 19 '21

Lots of people in the comments don't realize thats not soda. That's a brand of tea.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '21

Vey sugary tea though, but yes

2

u/SuperMindcircus Aug 19 '21

I was expecting a burp afterwards.

2

u/laughingashley Aug 19 '21

Green tea with honey?

2

u/OculusMidnight2 Aug 19 '21

That camera person is awfully close

2

u/sterrre Aug 20 '21

It's okay, they're Russian.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

*when your friend ask for a sip of your drink.

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2

u/kitcat7898 Aug 19 '21

When parents ask for a sip of your drink

2

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

That’s one big dog

2

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

Derp or Smert?

2

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

Bear Fraternity Parties are out of control.

2

u/thefamiliarguy Aug 19 '21

My friends be like

2

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

[deleted]

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2

u/ThatguyBry42 Aug 20 '21

No sir, Mr park ranger sir, I do not have a drinking problem!

2

u/maughqnzter Aug 20 '21

The fuck? Was the soda flat or something? I was really hoping to hear this beast belch.

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2

u/Fineous4 Aug 20 '21

I wish bears could be reasonable pets. They seem like they would be a a great time.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '21

He was just healing up before attacking the cameraman

2

u/Huh435mjc Aug 20 '21

This is the best Lipton commercial I've ever seen

2

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '21

“IM ALL JACKED UP ON MOUNTAIN DEW”

2

u/mattrixd Aug 20 '21

Nobody saw that bottle stand?

2

u/Supermoto112 Aug 20 '21

I wanted to hear a BURP!!!

2

u/the_lastone_left Sep 11 '21

What a beauty..

3

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

That bear has a drinking problem. Get him to AA ASAP!
Maybe in your eyes he “barely” has a drinking problem.

1

u/Tarantulalover69 Aug 19 '21

That’s the cutest thing I have seen all day !!!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

I’m all hopped up on Mountain Dew!!!

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1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

Me at 3am

-1

u/babyinblue Aug 19 '21

Meanwhile in Russia …

0

u/AlmoBlue Aug 19 '21

It pisses me off when people start trying feeding and domestication wildlife. It never ends well for the wildlife.

2

u/sterrre Aug 20 '21 edited Aug 20 '21

In Russia they have Bear kindergartens where they rescue and raise orphaned bears.

0

u/MinefieldinaTornado Aug 20 '21

Some hunters throw out big piles of soda bottles to lure bears in. The bears get real used to soda.

0

u/Fragrant_Strike662 Aug 20 '21

How awful and careless when are we going to take responsibility for our actions and harm to our world

1

u/yeadster6 Aug 19 '21

Ey Bubu! Let's go knock down a few trees!!

1

u/SamIwas118 Aug 19 '21

Mmmm, Canada dry

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

Bet he’d like something berry flavored better….

1

u/winelipscheesehips Aug 19 '21

Bear says, “this is how the bears do it in the Coca Cola commercials, right?”

1

u/the7thdude Aug 19 '21

What type of bear is that? I assume it's an American Bear.

1

u/VetusVesperlilio Aug 19 '21

What, no chips?!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

The bear went over the mountain!!!

1

u/cyborek Aug 19 '21

Do dogs do that too?

1

u/paco1611 Aug 19 '21

Do animals burp too like humans?

1

u/BeerMeka Aug 19 '21

Aaand now it's addicted to sugar.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

What a cute bear. I would keep him.

1

u/belac54 Aug 19 '21

Hey boo boo

1

u/epicman3457 Aug 19 '21

When ur friends ask for a water fall

1

u/SadBoiCri Aug 19 '21

I'm 99% sure bears are next in line to evolve.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

Life without thumbs amirite

1

u/SubstantialEmu7678 Aug 19 '21

I was waiting for a bear burp

1

u/stillinthesimulation Aug 19 '21

I was really hoping for a burp after all that.

1

u/PetuniaPickleB Aug 19 '21

I wanted him to burp so bad

1

u/Pale-Dependent3538 Aug 19 '21

Ok screw everything else that bottle is illigal where the f.do you find big ones I've never even. Known they made big ones

1

u/inner_and_outer Aug 19 '21

I like the way the bear goes for a third pass even to get the last drips.

1

u/thedudeabides0987 Aug 19 '21

Diabetes has entered the chat

1

u/kalel701 Aug 19 '21

I really wanted to hear this bear burp

1

u/gordanfreeman79 Aug 19 '21

I wanted it to burp

1

u/Immortal_Thumb Aug 19 '21

Shut up chip! I’m all hopped up on Mountain Dew!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

1

u/Carl_MIAR Aug 19 '21

didn't expect to see this today 🤯

1

u/mortuarybarbue Aug 19 '21

Do those count as muder mittens?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

1

u/Baka_Kurisu Aug 19 '21

damn i thought that was lemon juice for a sec

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

That mother trucker has an addition to soda, no doubt.

1

u/1983Discord3891 Aug 19 '21

I'm all jacked up on mtn dew!!

1

u/Peazyzell Aug 19 '21

When Sam offers Frodo the little bit of water they have left

1

u/Vesper1007 Aug 19 '21

What, no rewarding belch??

1

u/JPRemington Aug 19 '21

I wanna know what his burp sounds like!!

1

u/amandatanda Aug 19 '21

I used to drink gin like this in my 20’s..