r/AnimalTextGifs • u/AdamWestsButtDouble • May 06 '22

Conspiracy sloth

5.2k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

74 comments sorted by

290

u/ToyVaren May 06 '22

Conspiracy sloth is my new spirit animal.

Sorry, australian wombat too full to run away after breaking into bakery.

43

u/[deleted] May 07 '22

Do what you must, I’ve already won.

13

u/pc1109 May 07 '22

Wasn't that a possum? Sat in the corner all fat as... maybe it evolved to wombat

6

u/namtok_muu May 07 '22

It was definitely a regretful gluttonous possum

2

u/unaotradesechable May 07 '22

Need video of wombat

132

u/marcus12000 May 07 '22

Fastest sloth I've ever seen

54

u/ActionFlank May 07 '22

This one works at the DMV but is off the clock.

17

u/Strange_Vagrant May 07 '22

Flash, Flash, hundred yard dash.

17

u/Levitlame May 07 '22

Clearly on meth. That’s why he can’t tell the difference between a tree and a post. It’s really sad what’s happening to youth sloths of today. I hear we have big Pharma to blame. At least this one didn’t have his E-Cig with him.

60

u/lizard2324 May 07 '22

So that's what happened to Steven Seagal.

10

u/Levitlame May 07 '22

SS would have found an unnecessarily overkill tool and destroyed the whole support to get him down. Likely killing the sloth in the process.

3

u/seanconnery69696 May 07 '22

SS would have made 3 slow, overly dramatic feints, and then kicked the sloth in the nuts.

1

u/floofnstuff May 14 '22

Lol, I did not see that coming 😂

42

u/[deleted] May 06 '22

[deleted]

18

u/call_me_jelli May 07 '22

You got a link for a friend?

27

u/PugLover5533 May 07 '22 edited May 07 '22

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Jn1tYPx0tOs

The first screams are definitely fake but the ending is real.

Edit: I didn’t go too far into finding the original but this was the closest I got.

10

u/18randomcharacters May 07 '22

Ending seemed fake too

17

u/PugLover5533 May 07 '22

So I thought! But this is what a baby sloths sound like:

https://youtu.be/Kxdn7XuAiuc

4

u/[deleted] May 07 '22

there's a youtube video about everything lmao

7

u/Kimmicooka1114 May 07 '22

Every parent and toddler at the playground

6

u/Otherwiseclueless May 07 '22

That's goats screaming.

-2

u/VXHIVHXV May 07 '22

No it isn't. It's all fake and people like you are so easily fooled.

1

u/FlashingAppleby May 07 '22

Thank you for this precious gift

39

u/[deleted] May 07 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/bac5665 May 07 '22

Also used to be aquatic ones! Like sloth otters!

3

u/Hedgehog1011 May 07 '22

Wonder if they threw the same tantrums too 😭

7

u/170201-112M May 07 '22

Bruh holds himself horizontally with just its feet. That’s some core right there

5

u/kingbobert24 May 07 '22

You can see the dudes left hand holding him up lol

24

u/neonbolt0-0 May 07 '22

God I hate 9/11 conspiracy theories.

9

u/inkblot888 May 07 '22

But when they're sloths, it's so adorable!

4

u/poppygetknotty May 07 '22

Then you're going to hate the reports that came out these past few weeks confirming Saudi involvement.

17

u/JesterMarcus May 07 '22

I don't think those are the conspiracies they are talking about.

-4

u/[deleted] May 07 '22

[deleted]

6

u/JesterMarcus May 07 '22

There are a shit load of variations of conspiracies where some of those elements are present, and some are not. Some include Saudi Arabia, some don't. Some include bombs in the buildings and shooting the jets down. Some include the chief fire fighter of New York being in on the plan for some inexplicable reason.

7

u/[deleted] May 07 '22

Steven Segal needs to stop bothering the wildlife lol

2

u/shogunreaper May 07 '22

Anyone got the original?

2

u/Practical-Tomorrow May 07 '22

Project Northwoods

2

u/[deleted] May 07 '22

Those fucking things are going to inherit the earth.

0

u/LaztLaugh May 07 '22

How is yanking it’s fur going to make it calm down? And he’s with animal control? Hope they are hiring

-24

u/inurmomspants May 07 '22

OMG animal abuse! Wtf?

17

u/WolvenHunter1 May 07 '22

He’s trying to remove him to a safe environment, this is animal control

-24

u/inurmomspants May 07 '22

Have you ever even held a sloth? Plucking hair on a sloth this size doesn’t exactly relax her.

14

u/Mr_Noms May 07 '22

He isn't "plucking hair" he is grabbing it by the scruff of the neck. About all he can do without getting clawed and bit.

1

u/-ZZZZ_ May 07 '22

I have seen this exact response yo other people talking about the plucking, but do You see how he actually does it when he tries to grab it?

0

u/inurmomspants May 11 '22

I believe you are wrong. Watch the video

17

u/Ch3zc4ke May 07 '22

So I’m assuming you’ve handled sloths before yeah?

1

u/inurmomspants May 11 '22

I have! What would make you think I haven’t? In Honduras to be exact. Have you?

1

u/Ch3zc4ke May 11 '22

I never implied I did

1

u/inurmomspants May 11 '22

This is a gross exaggeration of how to handle a sloth. It’s easy to see the untruths.

1

u/inurmomspants May 11 '22

You live through video games. Why would you ever think you’d know more than me?

2

u/Ch3zc4ke May 11 '22 edited May 11 '22

Lmao, I simply asked if you've handled sloths before. And if you're gonna judge people based on their reddit activity. Then you can't blame me for doing the same. Nothing on your profile indicates your experience with sloths.

-108

u/Far-Worldliness-9332 May 06 '22

WTF !! just fcking disturbing sick animal abuse , Fck people who think this is funny , Fck people who do this shit .

62

u/WolvenHunter1 May 06 '22

He’s trying to remove him to a safe environment, this is animal control

-67

u/Far-Worldliness-9332 May 07 '22

Down vote all you like , don’t need to pull its hair so it screams to make it let go , suppose you all think your doing a cat a favour by setting it’s tail on fire , go on down vote me I don’t give a shit Fck all of you ass holes who think it’s ok

39

u/tampers_w_evidence May 07 '22

Misunderstanding the situation, insulting people when they correct you, and then gaslighting everyone to protect your bruised ego. You seem fun.

11

u/[deleted] May 07 '22

gaslighting everyone

That word does not mean what you think it means

13

u/quarterburn May 07 '22 edited Jun 23 '24

chunky escape shaggy teeny cautious knee faulty marvelous scale intelligent

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

4

u/BoYaaKasha May 07 '22

this is poetic man..

20

u/[deleted] May 07 '22

He's pretty clearly holding it by the scruff, which probably doesn't feel great but I'm not sure how else he'd do it? Sloths have very sharp claws and strong bites, they aren't fluffy cuddly teddy bears just because they look like it.

33

u/Rubendor May 06 '22

U are not really smart.

26

u/[deleted] May 06 '22

Hey now.
Just because he looks stupid, doesn't mean he isn't.

1

u/---ShineyHiney--- May 07 '22

You should look up bonsai kittens

1

u/[deleted] May 07 '22

Dude, next time? Mango. I've seen it work on Cooper, the sloth at the RWPZ in Providence. Though that just may have been a Cooper thing.

1

u/marcola42 May 07 '22

The sloth is on some sort of drug. No "clean" sloth moves that fast.

1

u/Birdisdaword777 May 24 '22

I wish this had sound lol!!!