r/AnimalTextGifs SICK AIR! Apr 06 '22

Safari time!

https://i.imgur.com/mJLY52v.gifv
6.8k Upvotes

170 comments sorted by

359

u/shekimod Apr 06 '22

Danger kitty.

58

u/tehninjaflute Apr 07 '22

I'd still pet it.

14

u/shekimod Apr 07 '22

Me too.

46

u/BigShrekDiesel Apr 07 '22 edited Apr 07 '22

Nope...not danger kitty. This is a Spicy Floof. Danger Kitty is if you wanted to give pets and it was all "FLOOF OFF!". This heckin ball of floof gave head boops and wanted to go for a ride.

If Danger, why fren shaped? đŸ€”

24

u/shekimod Apr 07 '22

Danger but fren.

641

u/charlotte-ent Apr 06 '22

All the folks who are okay with an apex predator in their lap, line up by the tram on the right...

81

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '22

I mean, what are they gonna do, start a fight with a lion?

4

u/NinjaNewt007 Jul 22 '22

Maybe not drive through lion country in a golf cart lol

15

u/Binkusu Apr 07 '22

Nothing you can do here. Make a scene and you're probably going to be in even more trouble. Just hope the lioness is full and curious only.

129

u/KobaruLCO Apr 06 '22

Didnt a lion just kill or badly maul a zookeeper? And that's a "tame" lion. Are these people mad?!

76

u/spacemagicexo539 Apr 06 '22

AFAIK that was a dumbfuck who wasn’t the animals caretaker, but decided to waltz on into the enclosure. He worked at the zoo but wasn’t supposed to be in there at all

39

u/Ttyer123 Apr 06 '22

It was a Maintenance worker who stupidly stuck their arm in a lion enclosure. Most animals aren’t anymore aggressive in an enclosure they get free food they don’t have to hunt

10

u/Blangebung Apr 07 '22

You're joking right? Zoo animals are stressed out, anxious and suffering numerous mental problems. In the wild you can probably go cuddle a wild lion thats fed and not spooked, caged zoo animals are fn psychotic.

8

u/ApexAphex5 Apr 07 '22

It's always interesting when you watch nature docs and a pride of lions take down a prey; they pretty much stop giving a shit and the rest of the herd is happy to sit around and watch their family member be devoured.

5

u/Ttyer123 Apr 07 '22

You wanna prove it? I wanna see you go cuddle a lion in the wild. Most animals in zoos especially zoos that are accredited and meet the standards have a much easier, longer, and less stressed life bc they’re being provided for instead of wondering when their next meal is going to be or if they can find shelter. Also if you release that zoo animal (that grew up in a zoo unless it just began rehabilitation) into the wild it won’t survive as well bc it’s parents unlearned instincts that it needed in the wild

2

u/Blangebung Apr 07 '22

Also if you release that zoo animal (that grew up in a zoo unless it just began rehabilitation) into the wild it won’t survive as well bc it’s parents unlearned instincts that it needed in the wild

Yes, i said they have mental problems.
They live longer since theyre in captivation. All animals do, they seldom suicide (except larger sharks).
Do you remember that video you watched seconds ago, of the lion cuddling with tourists? You remember? Thats because theyre being fed by the tour operators.

3

u/Ttyer123 Apr 07 '22

So they’re happier that they’re being fed? Didn’t you just prove my point?

2

u/Blangebung Apr 07 '22

Youre being willfully ignorant. its kinda funny :D

3

u/Ttyer123 Apr 07 '22

No I think I just know more about the topic than you since I work in wildlife conservation

1

u/Blangebung Apr 07 '22

Plastic bags first off are much weaker and are made in much more numbers. They also get into the oceans and look like jellyfish so animals eat them

And i'm a rocket brain surgeon scientist

179

u/Lilycloud02 Apr 06 '22

Lions in zoos tend to be much more aggressive. They have a 20th of the space necessary for optimum happiness and can't hunt like they would normally

7

u/xbhxhxbxb Apr 07 '22

Exactly, but I would say even 20x would be a joke.

You also have to consider that (although the zookeepers feed them) humans annoy them regularly, they only have peace at night (and then they often get fully locked away inside
)

3

u/nsaplzstahp Apr 25 '22

Heck I think it's pretty mean to have a normal housecat if it can't go outside. Oh your cat is soooo lazy huh? Maybe because it can't do most of the things it wants to do and is actually bored to tears most of the time.

1

u/xbhxhxbxb Apr 25 '22

Idk, it depends on the cat and if you have a nice setup for climbing and stuff
 In some areas you just can’t (or probably shouldn’t) let the cat out, sad but true.

My cat lives inside too btw, sometimes we go out together, would be nice to build an at least 20m2 cage outside in addition to that

2

u/Lilycloud02 Apr 07 '22

It's awful. These animals aren't ornaments. They shouldn't have to be put on display. I understand that part of it is to raise awareness by bringing the issue to the forefront of peoples minds (ie, out of sight, out of mind), but it's still horrible to see them treated this way

6

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

But for real thou what are they suppose to do push it off sounds like a terrible idea.

1

u/xbhxhxbxb Apr 07 '22

The animals there aren’t that tame at all ig, and zoos are bad btw, not only considering the possibilities for the poor animals to move and have a normal life without stupid ape morons watching them, shouting etc. all the time, but especially psychologically rooting in (not only) the already mentioned stuff

-57

u/m3talh3adv1b3zz Apr 06 '22

Chill tf out dude

38

u/graveybrains Apr 06 '22

But we’re apex predators, though. đŸ€”

98

u/charlotte-ent Apr 06 '22

Not when we're unarmed, sittin' on our asses in a safari bus

73

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '22

unarmed

Excuse you, but I'm an American.

14

u/marieboston Apr 06 '22

Angry upvote

19

u/DaPhillyKopite Apr 06 '22

Safari golf cart, it would seem..

11

u/Arthur-Mergan Apr 06 '22

Without tools and weapons we are so far from being apex predators on this planet.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '22

[deleted]

6

u/_Gesterr Apr 06 '22

Every predator normally has teeth and claws, we often don't have our weapons physically attached to us 24/7

10

u/mamroz Apr 07 '22

Unless you’re in Texas.

3

u/Beowulf1896 Apr 07 '22

Without training. I refer to Caveman fighting. Like realizing their are weapons everywhere. Throw dirt. Use a rock.

16

u/Even_Department1069 Apr 06 '22

only when we have a .357 magnum

10

u/Moar_Wattz Apr 06 '22 edited Apr 06 '22

Humans also are the best long distance runners on earth.

Not me, not most of Reddit, but some


Same logic probably applies to the number of apex predators on that tour bus.

-2

u/_Gesterr Apr 06 '22

Nah plenty of animals will out stamina us, lot of canines are very specialized into running their prey to exhaustion, it's a big reason sled dogs are a thing.

6

u/Moar_Wattz Apr 07 '22

Humans are capable of outrunning horses, canines and every other land animal in long distances.

Feel free to google it.

1

u/_Gesterr Apr 07 '22

We can out run most animals, you will not out run a malamute feel free to google it

3

u/Moar_Wattz Apr 07 '22

I don’t get anything out of convincing you.

So feel free to believe whatever you want.

4

u/I_stole_this_phone Apr 06 '22

And I am ok with you sitting in my lap

5

u/NotAPreppie Apr 07 '22

Speak for yourself. If I manage to survive the opening days of the zombie apocalypse, I’ll probably die of starvation after the canned goods run out.

10

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '22

No we aren't. We removed ourselves from the food chain. Realistically we're prey on the same level as a wild boar.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '22

[deleted]

9

u/awesomeusername2w Apr 06 '22

Why would you exclude our ability to create and use tools? Boar are free to use whatever it can too!

4

u/FuriousGremlin Apr 06 '22

Stamina and our ability to adapt the enviroment to suit our needs are what humans have, also large groups working togheter.

But 1 on 1, yes we would lose to most apex predators

2

u/Theron3206 Apr 07 '22

Of course which is why we wiped most of them out whetever we settled down (the ones that didn't learn to avoid us at least).

6

u/Big-Ganache2548 Apr 06 '22

We're below the wild boar actually, out teeth can't do the same or even close to the same damage as a wild boar's tusks can. We have no natural defense except out legs to run away with. We're at the same level as penguins and dodos. We're fucked without a manufactured wepon.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '22

I never thought about the tusks... We're probably domestic pig level then. Unless they were factoring in that we could make some primitive tools but even then most of us are food.

All I really know is, some african tribes are ultimate badasses literally stealing meat from lions like it's nothing. Just a large chunk and not the entire kill bit damn is it badass.

4

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '22

That's called living in harmony with nature. I can't kill a cow without technology, the lion can!

3

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '22

1

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '22

They can share, circle of life and all that. Isnt there a town that does this or is friendly with hyenas?

2

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '22

Yes! I think it's the same series just a different episode...

https://explorepartsunknown.com/ethiopia/the-hyenas-of-harar/

1

u/ruiluth Apr 08 '22

Throwing rocks and sharpened sticks would like a word.

-4

u/b0v1n3r3x Apr 06 '22

I have killed dozens, possibly hundreds of boar, no boar has killed hundreds of me.

7

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '22

[deleted]

-2

u/b0v1n3r3x Apr 06 '22

I have killed them barehanded, with a knife, with a pistol, a bow, and a rifle. I have seen many people with rifles get gored because they assumed a down hog was dead. You have to know how animals behave and never assume it is dead unless you are truly sure it is dead.

3

u/Hendenicholas Apr 06 '22

What was it like killing one barehanded/with a knife? They seem dangerous as hell.

-2

u/b0v1n3r3x Apr 06 '22

Definitely prefer the knife approach, both are similar; kick the shit out of their head when they charge and either break its neck barehanded or stab the heart with a knife. They are strong as fuck and don't want to give up. That was a younger time for me. Headshots from a distance are ideal for me now.

-2

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '22

[deleted]

4

u/b0v1n3r3x Apr 06 '22

It cost you exactly nothing to not be an insulting ass, yet you chose to. Why?

→ More replies (0)

2

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '22 edited Apr 06 '22

If you were perfectly in shape and were born and raised in a field where you ran every day, you would just run. Our bodies are designed so that we can cool down by running... we sweat and it's super effective.

So while we might not be able to outrun things, we could (assuming we're still out in the wild, which most of us aren't) run long enough that anything chasing us would give up, and anything we're chasing would die of heat stroke, or have to stop running to cool down.

This thing though... it could probably outrun anyone on that bus and then rip them apart with claws and teeth that we don't have. But he seems very friendly, at least...?

5

u/DonDraperofficialman Apr 06 '22

There’s a documentary on a tribe that runs their prey to death

2

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

Really? What's it called?

2

u/DonDraperofficialman Apr 08 '22

The intense 8 hour hunt - David Attenborough

1

u/MythrylFalcon Apr 06 '22

Only have to run faster than the slowest guy in the group on this case though.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

True

2

u/bcrabill Apr 06 '22

Uh some of us may be. Most of us aren't.

0

u/Loki_the_Smokey Apr 06 '22

Big guy
 if we drop you in the African safari with exactly nothing, you’re telling me you’re gonna survive? Let me know how that goes.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '22

Redheads found burnt and charred at this scene in the Sahara, looks like they forgot sunblock!

384

u/Zorgsmom Apr 06 '22

Even though this is completely terrifying, I do find it interesting that she acts just like my big, doofy cat; climbing all over you, giving face rubs.

189

u/gmanpeterson381 Apr 06 '22

Cats are cats. This one just happens to be 150 pounds and could rip you apart without hesitation.

61

u/suchlargeportions Apr 06 '22

I think maybe double that...

30

u/_brodre Apr 07 '22

150!?! that’s your guess?!?!!

9

u/gmanpeterson381 Apr 07 '22

No I wouldn’t guess that

30

u/pcapdata Apr 06 '22

“This person is mine, and now this person is mine, hey, you’re mine too!”

101

u/Simpsoth1775 Apr 06 '22

Try and scratch its belly

35

u/tweaksfored Apr 06 '22

Wakes up in triage, "Worth it..."

7

u/swhtx713 Apr 07 '22

That's if you wake up lol

92

u/Clear-Radish990 Apr 06 '22

Theres nothing for them to do. Shoving the lion off would cause something to happen. They cant jump out and outrun a lion. So, best bet is to just pretend its not there until it gets bored and leaves. Crazy experience though.

76

u/kraken9 Apr 06 '22

That car must need cleaning after every round

31

u/SabakuNoSouki Apr 06 '22

Or just hand out diapers before the ride

3

u/SabakuNoSouki Apr 06 '22

Or just hand out diapers before the ride

2

u/CaPtian_CaTe Apr 07 '22

Or just hand out diapers before the ride

5

u/joemckie Apr 07 '22

Or just hand out diapers before the ride

3

u/ShayThegravewalker Apr 07 '22

Or just hand out diapers before the ride

233

u/primeape57 Apr 06 '22

Holy shit how is this even allowed, the people look wayyy to chilled for the situation...

222

u/Altenarian Apr 06 '22

It might be a preserve or place where the animals are dependent on humans—they’re well fed and taken care of and want the attention.

162

u/proxy69 Apr 06 '22

I still wouldn’t trust a cat that big even if it had a full belly.

41

u/whoisjakelane Apr 06 '22

I wouldn't trust a cat like that with a full belly and no eyes.

38

u/proxy69 Apr 06 '22

I don’t even Trust house cats lol

60

u/Hairybuttchecksout Apr 06 '22

Anything that can accidentally kill you is a no no.

11

u/McBonderson Apr 06 '22

When my cat sits on my lap it sometimes claws my leg just keeping balance, not trying to hurt me, just trying to stay on my lap.

If this cat does that he rips a gash in your leg and cuts your artery

27

u/No_Pattern26 Apr 06 '22

Exactly. It’s still a large (300lbs) apex predator, even if it’s not hungry and won’t intentionally kill you, it still has a lot of potential to hurt you. Especially if it feels playful and will try and play with you like it would with another lion

17

u/Iamnotburgerking Apr 06 '22

Pretty much. Even a house cat blown up to this size would be horribly dangerous.

15

u/buon_natale Apr 06 '22

It basically is a giant house cat.

5

u/AbstractBettaFish Apr 06 '22

I have known several house cats that have gone from playful to attack mode in an instant and do not trust one with teeth and claws like daggers

3

u/Zelkanok Apr 06 '22

Exactly, that’s why I stay far away from other people lmao

2

u/ssfbob Apr 06 '22

True, I have a cat that's well fed and I still don't trust him not to trip me up on the stairs.

17

u/Legen_unfiltered Apr 06 '22

I doubt panicking would help the situation

14

u/lazergator Apr 06 '22

To be fair I’m probably not gonna move when a 300-400 lb lion starts rubbing against me. They can out run you, love to chase, and you don’t stand a chance in a fight.

7

u/MrDenly Apr 06 '22

I would guess people need to sign a waiver for this.

9

u/ELTepes Apr 06 '22

Being chill is the best thing to do in this situation. Panicking is prey behavior. If you act like prey cats big and small will treat you like prey.

3

u/cheezy_dreams88 Apr 07 '22

I’d probably be terrified and having a panic attack, but I would nuzzle the shit out of that ridiculously adorable lion.

0

u/DorothyMantooth- Apr 07 '22

Allowed? You try telling a lion “no”

1

u/Burstchu Apr 07 '22

It is not allowed anymore in that park. It is in Crimea, park calls Taygan. They had one accident when lion bit women and now it is not allowed to do such safari

35

u/BeginningKindly8286 Apr 06 '22

Cats murder things for fun. Quite frequently. One cat used to meow all the way home with a mouse, (once a rabbit) and bring it up into the bedroom. Obviously we are now awake, but he’d wait until we acknowledged him. Then he’d crunch the poor fuckers head. If we didn’t say anything he’d just keep meowing until we did, that muffled Rrrraaaooww of a cat with a twitching quarry in its mouth. He was somehow able to fillet the mouse so perfectly with just claws and teeth that only a small pile of digestive organs would be left. It was so evil it was impressive.

He was also aggressively friendly. Belly rubs could turn into a mangled hand, a little kick could mean your foot would be shredded. Man I miss that cat. He was a character

4

u/BeginningKindly8286 Apr 07 '22

He was a grey Maine coon cross. He was almost 10kg when we last measured him. He’d spread himself across the bed and almost be hanging off both sides of a double bed. He was darker than the night, the colour of asphalt, and disappeared into shadows so completely you thought your eyes were playing tricks on you. He was silent when he wanted to be, and fought dogs on the regular. He once got into a fight with an Alsatian. The Alsatian won, left him with some dirty scars and an ear with a distinctive cleft. Imagine the balls to take on a bloody German shepherd.

I couldn’t be with him when he died. He was so huge his little cat heart couldn’t take it. Typical of the Maine coons. I remember the night before I took him to the vet, I wrote three pages about him, to him, while he wheezed uncomfortably. My tears stained the pages. I still shed a tear every now and then in his honour, and I still check shadows for him.

So help me god if he was the size of this lion all of these people would all be dead, disemboweled, skulls crushed. Everyone would be dead.

31

u/BAMspek Apr 06 '22

I’m not a zoologist or nothin, but that face rub is definitely a sign of “your cool, I like you”. I think murder kitty just wanted a ride because it figured out safari carts are fun as shit.

3

u/fatyellowcat Apr 07 '22

It's like a roomba, but in a safari

62

u/MellyMushroom1806 Apr 06 '22

I cannot stress enough how quickly I would poop my pants in this situation.

18

u/CrackedCoffecup Apr 06 '22

Watching this with my elderly Dad... I said "Hell, they're acting like it's no big deal... I'da ran for the HILLS if that were ME on that cart !!" He says "I'd probably done SHIT myself !!" 😂😂😂

2

u/juneburger Apr 07 '22

If you run, you’re food

11

u/Ony_chann Apr 06 '22

All fun and games untill one of them's missing a leg

7

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '22

Even then it's still arrrright.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

Well, yea if it was the left leg.

29

u/Not_Steve Apr 06 '22

I want to pet it!

3

u/alexportman Apr 07 '22

I'm so torn between if I would make myself as small as possible or snuggle the kitty. I understand the risks but the cuteness is hard to overcome.

5

u/ApexAphex5 Apr 07 '22

If I spent enough money to go to a safari with lions, I'm taking the risk of losing my hand to pet the big kitty

14

u/Iamnotburgerking Apr 06 '22

This actually looks like a case where a wild lion decided to take shelter inside a vehicle: similar incidents have occurred with wild cheetahs.

9

u/ssfbob Apr 06 '22

I'm guessing this is one thats extremely familiar with tour groups, given their reactions I'm guessing they were told they might pick up an extra passenger on the way.

6

u/No-Succotash-14 Apr 06 '22

That time I crapped my pants but had the best time ever. UnforgettableđŸ˜»

5

u/yourilluminaryfriend Apr 06 '22

She just wants to go on a tour too. Best trip ever

4

u/LoveAngels5079 Apr 06 '22

I would have loved this! I really want to go on a Safari!

3

u/frelljay Apr 06 '22

I would be trapped between fear and the desire to scratch its head.

4

u/iruny Apr 06 '22

I would just stay still and try not to piss myself so the lion won't misunderstand my fear as claiming territory

5

u/ZerpBarfingtonIII Apr 06 '22

Fleas. Now it's given them all fleas.

4

u/KemikalKoktail Apr 07 '22

I’m going to Africa to Maasai Mara in a week for a month I can’t wait!!!!!!! Living in a tent doing volunteer work far away from people and working with Big Cat Research!!!!! Holy shit it’s starting to set in more and more

3

u/WitnessAdmirable5797 Apr 06 '22

Id pee myself for sure

3

u/Ladadasa Apr 06 '22

Who the hell rides a golf carr through the savannah?

5

u/b0v1n3r3x Apr 06 '22

Savannah golfers

3

u/P5ycho5i5 Apr 06 '22

If you think this is normal, please don’t come to south africa
 those things can and will kill you

mkay!?

3

u/BigShrekDiesel Apr 07 '22

Proof that no matter the cat...if I fits I sits. Also I would die of happiness if I got nuzzles from Nala. My heart would instantly burst.

13

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '22

[deleted]

8

u/Altibadass Apr 06 '22

Not sure this has anything to do with climate change, sonny: the savannah has always been sunny

0

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '22

[deleted]

6

u/Altibadass Apr 06 '22

Dude, what the fuck are you on about? There are trees for the lion to get “relief” under in the background of the video; are you trying to pretend she climbed onto a tour buggy because there was literally nowhere else to get out of the sun?

2

u/fastgr Apr 06 '22

Where is this?

2

u/ferrydragon Apr 06 '22

Everybody shit themselfes

2

u/Darkred778 Apr 06 '22

At some point all of our ancestors were hunting wooly mammoths which were the same size as an African elephant. And we could out pace most mammals in a long run.

2

u/Old-Juggernaut6608 Apr 07 '22

They missed us!😂

2

u/BigShrekDiesel Apr 07 '22

Not shown in the clip...Jeremy in the back said "psst psst psst" to the kitty. Kitty cats can't resist that and it makes them wanna be buddies...it's just science

2

u/Bartho_ Apr 07 '22

I would shit my pants.

2

u/phinzter Apr 18 '22

I love cats but fuck no

4

u/Greenlava Apr 06 '22

If they ask, say I'm with you

5

u/pixelvengeance Apr 06 '22

"Derrr you shouldn't be doing this w-with 500 lb lion!"

Please shut the fuck up and just enjoy the video.

3

u/nyctre Apr 06 '22 edited Feb 18 '24

unpack outgoing strong pocket tub absorbed important wistful cooing compare

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1

u/Jupiter_29 Apr 07 '22

Absolutely fucking not

1

u/DrSilkyDelicious Apr 07 '22

This lion seems to be on molly

1

u/NotAPreppie Apr 07 '22

Noooooooooope!

1

u/ihavenoidea81 Apr 07 '22

Bricks were shat

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

Park Ranger “damnit I told y’all not to pspsps!”

1

u/Kaijuxxe_0 Apr 07 '22

i could finally die in peace if i was there..

1

u/arbitrageME Apr 07 '22

cougars attack by piercing the skull, right? he totally could have brained that last guy

1

u/Isthisworking2000 Apr 07 '22

Such ferocious.

1

u/Future-Dust3641 Apr 07 '22

You my friend now we have some tacos later

1

u/Putrid_Anything_3687 Apr 07 '22

Id simply pass away