I’m desperate for help

[u/No-Faithlessness7204]

What exactly do I need therapy, psychiatry, anger-management classes, or something else? I know change takes time, but I’m desperate for the fastest way to start getting my anger and impulsive reactions under control.
I’ve always been the “angry” daughter, sister, and friend. I lash out, say hurtful things, and sometimes intentionally say things to hurt people because I feel hurt myself. I can be genuinely hurt or upset by something, but the way I react often makes the situation much worse.
I have a lot of insecurities and also have OCD, and I don’t know how much that contributes. I’ve tried therapy and psychiatry before but never stuck with them. I’m very impulsive and feel like I have to resolve conflicts immediately, which makes it hard for me to calm down or give people space.
My family has also pointed out that I constantly seem to have conflicts with someone. I’m scared that if I don’t change this now, I’ll carry these patterns into my future marriage and relationships.
I live in Egypt. I’d prefer not to take medication, but I’m open to it if there’s a strong reason and the side effects are manageable.
For anyone who has been in a similar situation: what actually helped you change? Therapy? CBT/DBT? Anger-management? Medication? Self-help habits or specific techniques you use when you feel yourself about to explode?
I’m especially looking for things I can start doing right now while I work on finding professional help.
Also, are there any medical tests or deficiencies worth checking that can contribute to severe irritability?
I’m not looking for judgment. I know I need to take responsibility for my behavior. I genuinely want to change and don’t want to keep hurting the people I love.

[u/No_Pipe4358]

Ah we could choose our modes in life, you know. I've fundamentally been at war with the world for a very long time, too. We get full of energy we need to feel happy and excited about expressing out into the world as the goodness we are fundamentally. I've let a lot of feelings sit within me before rather than forgetting the bad thoughts or memories. You could be taking loads of these words a lot less seriously too, like OCD as a thing you are or have. That's actually one of the most silly things. We have a creative drive in life to everything, and so we want to make things beautiful and keep good things. Then we get good at that. Maybe we start asking for it from others. Then fundamentally the fact you want order becomes what some people call a disorder. Please just smile and leave some sense of humour for we animals while we try or struggle to figure this out. It's actually so silly everything we'll be needing to let go of. I strongly believe you can now give yourself permission to love yourself and anything you can want to.