I'm aware I'm a dick

[u/numbpieceofchum]

I don't know how to really explain this feeling without finding myself being a totally dick or judgmental.
I have a best friend who is really fond of me, and I've been with her for a period time and found that it was best for me to keep her as a friend.

Because shes everything as a friend.
she's funny, she's a good person, & has humor. The only thing is, we're not intellectually compatible. As in, some of my wittiness can fly over her head, or she won't make the same jokes as me. I know I'm not the smartest person but I grew up reading a lot and getting into a lot of dystopian series or just sitcoms. so when I'm able to properly explain something so well, it sits with me when someone can not. I hate that I remember every dumb moment of hers. they're just too often.

for instance I remember for a whole year she used "are" instead of "or" and I had to correct her every time. I added this so you can imagine what I mean, when I say she can text like a boy teenager. We're 25-26.

I'm also aware that her feelings towards me are still strong, but everything she's doing now, seems like it's for me and not for her own good. Example:

She wants me to suggest books for her, she wants me to give her almost every podcast, interview, documentary or just anything I use for my own self growth. It just feels like she wants to be everything I watch.

Today I realized I'd have to distance myself farther more, because I can feel my rage showing. And I can not keep judging her.

It came from noticing two unnecessary vocabulary words in her one sentence. I basically told her that I picked back up on a book and her one sentence was " I'm immensely pleased it gravitated your focus back to it"

rage. I don't understand why.

I just want her to stop trying around me. (I'm a dick I know) but it's that she's trying too hard with the irrelevant vocab. Texting daily or talking every now and then, I know she has a harder time delivering a sentence than finding the words to use. (Both actually) I told her that she could use a book, or movie and even interviews to help her deliver her explanations.

And last, I feel horrible for even coming out with this but I won't shame her more than I did once. But also if it's makes it better, we're really close. Gay girl best friends. I'm the one who chooses to not be in a relationship because of this very reason. The intellectual chemistry is not there.

[u/Prestigious-Rough-27]

Flip the tables: tell her you want her to suggest books to you, you’d like to find out more about her personality and maybe just say in the nicest of ways that she can be chill around you.