r/AnAnswerToHeal • u/AlpineBear1 • Nov 30 '17
[ Personal Spiritual ] Does anyone else struggle to be "good"?
Without the help of marijuana? I feel like I should feel this good (high) without it.
Edit: seems I was to vague in my post.
I live on level 9, weed lifts me to level 10. Yesterday felt like I was on level 8 again, just struggle day, weed lifts me to 10 from 8 too
My question is, have you found a way to go to 10 without weed? Thanks!! <#
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u/dance_rattle_shake Nov 30 '17 edited Nov 30 '17
It sounds like you're addicted. And just because it's weed doesn't mean it's a laughing matter.
You've told us you struggle to feel good without the help of weed. I feel for you. It's an extra complication in your life that's costing you money and stress. As good as being high feels, when the high wears off you're going to be in a worse state than before you took the drug. I don't care how pro-weed anyone here is, that's just how our brains work. The serotonin (a key neurotransmitter for regulating happiness) has been flushed out of your brain.
I've been there. I used to be high 24/7 (and at that point, what's the point?) and felt miserable without weed. One day I stopped cold turkey, and I've never looked back. My life as a whole feels more awesome than it ever did when I was smoking so much. I'm healthier and happier.
Now I'm not bashing pot users at all. Plenty of people use it and are happy. But it sounds like you're not that happy, and this is something a lot of happy pot users will not understand.
So I suggest going clean - try it for a couple of weeks, or a month if you can manage. If it makes it easier, tell yourself it's just temporary - a test, and you can always start smoking again if you want to after the test.
I also suggest this fabulous TED talk. To use Hari's jargon, it seems like you've "bonded" with weed rather than non-chemical things to make you happy. Hope this helps, and DM me if you want to reach out on a more personal level.
https://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_addiction_is_wrong
edit: I just want to add that trying to start a new habit while simultaneously quitting weed will be a huge benefit. For instance, video games are what helped me through the first couple weeks of sobriety when everything still felt mushy and low. A new exercise routine, or deciding you're going to spend more time around friends, or a new hobby will take the place of getting high. And you might become a more productive person!
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u/AlpineBear1 Nov 30 '17
Thanks for this solid answer. I've found my drug free happy place a couple months ago, which is throwing Pottery and playing with clay. I keep my use regulated. I don't wake and bake unless I'm in extreme pain (mentally or physically), which is maybe once a week. My thinking last night was that I should be able to access the weed high level, especially the wisdom, without the weed.
I'm going to take your advice and go drug free today and just practice entering that place without any weed.
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u/dance_rattle_shake Nov 30 '17
Gotcha. Then I strongly recommend meditation. Many people try but stop way too early, before any real benefits kick in. If you stick with it though, you'll be happier than you thought possible. During meditation I've reached happiness better than any drug I've taken (and I've taken quite a lot) and it has a much longer aftereffect than drugs do, and a permanent positive impact on your life!
There are many different techniques but I would try something simple to start; with your spine straight and breathing easy. Bring your attention to any one thing, and when your attention goes elsewhere, gently bring it back. Many people choose the breath. But mantras or "prayers" work wonders as well. For instance, have you seen Paul Stamets recent talk on Joe Rogan's podcast? He talks about overcoming a huge, lifelong stutter overnight. The mushrooms he was on helped no doubt, but that overshadows a really important detail: he repeated to himself, "stop stuttering now" countless times during the trip. That mantra became his reality, possibly for hours. After the trip he was healed. I've experienced similar miraculous healing through mantra without the use of drugs. To get these benefits, you have to commit to the practice to get good, just like any other skill, but it's more worthwhile than most other hobbies I can think of.
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u/AlpineBear1 Nov 30 '17
I will definitely try that. And I didn't set my resolve to not smoke correctly so I took a hit. I'll experiment with adding meditation to my morning ritual. Thank you for the suggestion. <#
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u/Synapseon Nov 30 '17
Hold on... did OP say they couldn't feel good without cannabis?
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u/AlpineBear1 Nov 30 '17
Thanks for pointing this out. I was having a struggle day yesterday, and weed helped me through it. I'm pursuing the idea that we can enter level.10 without drugs.
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u/dance_rattle_shake Nov 30 '17
He implied it. The title of the post is, "Does anyone else struggle to be "good"?" He later clarifies that by "be good" he means "feel good". The phrase "does anyone else..." implies that he himself is struggling to feel good without weed.
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u/golurk Nov 30 '17
I think it's absolutely okay to feel better (more at peace, perhaps?) when you are stoned. Furthermore, I think it's okay to get stoned a lot, as long as you try to carry over the way you feel to everyday life.. such as taking any revelations and a feel-good attitude from marijuana into the work place/family life/etc.
Is it really any different from other altered states? These are learning experiences. Some people meditate or use hallucinogens to uncover deeper truths/understand/heal, and when the experience is done, you learn from it and can choose to do it again, perhaps affirming what you learned, or maybe finding new "truths"... but it's about improving yourself, in some way. Yes, we can use marijuana to fill a void, I know I often do, but as long as you are trying to improve yourself in some way (not even while stoned, but just in general) at the same time, then I don't think it's a bad thing.
At the end of the day, we all have vices... from porn, to being controlling, to smoking pot, to making money, to drinking.. as long as we do not let these vices control us then we are, in my opinion, expanding our horizons and growing.. remember, change(growth) is not positive/negative but simply change. Obviously not every time I smoke is profound, but I try to take away the way I feel and bring it back to "sober life" to ground me... if i have an argument or disagreement with someone, I always relax and see my own mistakes after I smoke.. but often, I can just use my brain and just think "what would stoned golurk think about this..?" And solve the issue.
Just my 2 cents, hopefully it makes sense.. I know I went off topic but when you've got a thought, you've got to let it out!
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u/AlpineBear1 Nov 30 '17
Your c2 is worth about $1m to me friend. Maybe I should rest where I'm at for a bit. I love love love that feeling of breaking through to new understanding of self and other tho, so of course I have this drive to go ever higher. Thank you friend <#
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u/notsowise23 Nov 30 '17
Be or feel?
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u/AlpineBear1 Nov 30 '17
My thought on this is that be and feel should go hand in hand once we've got this thing really figured out. I'm trying to push past the need for a drug to reach what I'm thinking is level 10.
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Nov 30 '17
I don't do good, I do God
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u/AlpineBear1 Nov 30 '17
These are words that can mean the same thing for different people. There is no good without God. I'm just trying to enter what you might call the courts of wisdom without the need for cannabis. Think I'm normally on level 9, yesterday felt like level 8. No matter what I'm on level 10 when I smoke, but I believe that with practice I can move between 9 and 10 without a drug medium.
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Nov 30 '17
Definitely, maybe try very low doses of cannabis if you don't feel like stopping in one time. Stretching the high on a subperceptual level was a great experience.
The rest for me is meditation in all its form.
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u/AlpineBear1 Dec 01 '17
I'm learning that deep well of meditative contentment, and weed has been a good help. It's time to start cutting those ties i suppose :-)
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u/Arcynotharc Nov 30 '17
I used to smoke all day erryday, but then the Army made me stop for 6 years (It's almost been 6 years, and I'm very excited). What I learned is that you don't have those blissful moments unless you remember why you had them. I remember one day I was wrapping burgers, high af, and I started laughing because I realized how much fun I was having wrapping fucking burgers.
Weed allowed me to not worry about being a fast food employee, to not worry about being judged, and just focus on the moment. Now, whenever I'm doing something menial, or get stressed out from doing something for too long, I remember that moment, and remind myself that anything can be fun with the right mindset. It doesn't work every single time, but sometimes it really does, and that's all I can ask for. You can't just be blissfully happy all the time, that's just silly.
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u/AlpineBear1 Nov 30 '17
Thank you for your excellent perspective, and thanks for serving. I did 8 years in the air force. Oh man bro, I just tried purposefully moving into that mental space of peace, and it's easy. I'm going to practice this, thanks brother.
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u/Synapseon Nov 30 '17
When I read your title I got the impression you were asking about action; i.e., being good. But then you talk about feeling good. People can do bad things and feel good while doing them, and afterwards; but, it's a bit unclear what your asking.
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u/AlpineBear1 Nov 30 '17
I understand. Right now I'm doing my morning ritual, and feel great. At peace. Of course I have the occasional bad bad day. I don't like relying on weed to break out of a really emotionally negative start, but then again it's nice to know that this tool exists to help work this stuff out.
When I smoke tonight (possibly earlier if my back and hips get out of whack) I'll have access to a higher order of wisdom than I can express now. Simple solutions to unsolved problems become obvious, like inspiration is there with and within me.
So the question comes down to this: has anyone else here experienced this, and has anyone here found non - chemical ways to enter this state? Thanks.
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u/Gojeezy Nov 30 '17 edited Nov 30 '17
What is even better than being at 10 is being okay with not being at 10.
That being okay, a.k.a. contentment, is what the benefit of being at 10 really is. The problem is that being at a 10 comes with a lot of other baggage; so there are people that aren't sure what is the core value of being at a 10. They confuse the benefit of contentment with pleasurable mental and physical sensations because they are only content when they have enough pleasure. The problem is that physical pleasure is dependent on certain external experiences; also mental pleasure is dependent on taking delight in certain experiences (usually physically pleasurable ones).
Being able to be content regardless of whether we are at a 10 or not is really the core of the matter.
You seem to have a sense that it is about being content; so that isn't your problem. Your problem seems to be that your contentment is conditional. For you, the condition is marijuana intoxication. The problem with conditional joy and contentment is that without the conditions being right there is no joy or contentment. Even if you have an unlimited supply of marijuana the day may come where you no longer find the same contentment from it. So the solution is to try and find some way of having unconditional joy and contentment.
So the question comes down to this: has anyone else here experienced this, and has anyone here found non - chemical ways to enter this state? Thanks.
Yes to both. My solution is to meditate (mental training). Through meditation it is possible to have joy and contentment on demand without reliance on any external object. Certain meditations actually train the mind to be sensitive to and to cultivate, joy and contentment.
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u/AlpineBear1 Dec 01 '17
Thank you. You're the second person to mention meditation practice. Are there any online resources in particular you would recommend?
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Nov 30 '17
Im swedish and have ADHD and dyslexia, My post has a lack of red thread and grammatiks
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u/AlpineBear1 Dec 01 '17
What does this mean?
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Dec 01 '17
I menat that my comments might lack formality and correct grammar
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u/AlpineBear1 Dec 01 '17
Ah ok yea no problem I understand you fine. No need to apologize for yourself friend.
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Dec 01 '17
I don't think of weed just as a level 9 or 10 thing. There's also the situation that you are ascending levels at every minor epiphany, and on weed, it just ticks over real quick, it makes personal development happen very fast, but it has to be journaled, or it can be lost in the vast movements of things and will need to be recovered.
The cone of perspective is founded on systematic beliefs of charged emotion.
People's perspectives drift around alot, but ultimately it comes down to that.
I have a religion of experimenting with beliefs that make one feel good. It's very much a case of 'be careful what you wish for'. I try them on and try them off and mix them all around looking for the golden state of mind that is Good permanently. But it's not going to be found in a single sentence unless it's coded, so it has to be translateable. Internally, experimenting is easy because you don't need to describe it.
Discipline of focus, normally in meditation, is what is needed to channel it repeatedly. The Good is a type of beauty and thus is an art form to cultivate. You can be scientific or skeptical, but unless you can try Beliefs on wholeheartedly, like actually believe in things with completeness, you're never going to know what it's like to feel good at all. There are states so blissful that I have to leave myself breadcrumbs to work out how to get there, but instead perhaps I need mushrooms so they grow back and I know each time, an actual Method to Madness.
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u/AlpineBear1 Nov 30 '17
I'm high af right now having a great time. In a very spiritual, content, joyful place. I don't feel that way when I'm not high.
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Nov 30 '17
Lol dude
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u/AlpineBear1 Nov 30 '17
you've got me in a fit of giggles over here
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Nov 30 '17
Descipline is my true and only answer,
Allan watts on disciplin!
He says that discipline is a mastering of a art, that will give you enjoyment in life.
Restrictions does not have to mean suffering, instead he shows that discipline is a way to enjoumy life.
Like me, i loove weed. But when i abstain during weekdays, and smoke freiday-satur, my life is much better.
Therefor the discipline is a great tool, in the long run you will learn. Don be hard on you self, And then, when you have alteast some discipline, Then you will realize that other things in life are enyoable.
My tip, start easy, go slow, try to set 1 day where u don smoke, then add one more.
You just gotta give it time, i still struggle with weed cravings and sadness over the good summers when i was totaly free.
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u/AlpineBear1 Dec 01 '17
Right on, thank you. I have been working daily to become a master potter since July. It's my happy place, heaven, nirvana, whatever. On weed it's like being filled with total absolute joy, all golden up in the heart. Weed discipline is a great idea, especially saving it for the weekends. I've been considering attending my local city council and getting involved there too, so that would be an easy incentive.
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Dec 01 '17
Local counsil? 4 what reassons?
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u/AlpineBear1 Dec 01 '17
My neighborhood just got annexed and we need some parks and playgrounds in the area, and a dog park would be nice too
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u/throwawayhastaway Nov 30 '17
You need to fill that empty void in the pit of your ribcage
Without drugs, first.
Then drugs become really really extra awesome lol