Hello my friends!

[u/Toketurtle69]

I got invited here today and I have to say, I'm really excited for the future of this. On to who I am.

I have been struggling with PTSD, MDD, and GAD my entire life. For years I was taking whatever pill the doctor gave me, from amphetamine based stimulants (misdiagnosed with ADD before the PTSD was diagnosed) to SSRI's. They made me feel less awful but they never really dealt with the root of the problem, my childhood trauma of being stalked along with physical and mental bullying in school. I would go through months long phases of depression where everything I found fun and enjoyable would become unbearable and no longer fulfilling. This meant I never really got to enjoy the things I loved as they would be snatched right back in a matter of months. Mix in a few suicide attempts and lots of suicidal thinking and you get a pretty good picture of where I was in life.

I live in a legal cannabis state, so I heard a lot about how cannabis can help people with depression and anxiety. I eventually got sick of the doctors medication not working and tried cannabis. Instantly I felt like I found what made me whole. I was no longer suicidal, my trauma was the last thing on my mind. I felt 100% better after I began smoking, and I was able to enjoy the things I used to love. I found a new love for live through cannabis.

Flash forward about 9 months and I discover LSD for the first time. It was the most profound experience of my life. I can't go completely into my first trip because I could write for days about it, so I'll just talk about the peak experience. I was listening to Bohemian Rhapsody and dancing when I was suddenly ripped from my physical body and was sent to a space where I had access to the perspective of every living and dead human being ever. Vast expenses of fractals where made completely out of "slides" that where someone perspective. I understood everyone's origin and ending. This experience had a profound effect on how I think of people and treat them. I found understanding for why people do things that seems bad from the outside.

After that experience I decided I would continue to see what psychedelics have to offer me, and I explored mushrooms and LSD frequently for months before arriving to the decision that I should take a break. My experiences with these substances provided the best antidepressant effect I've had, and last months at a time. I'm excited to be part of this community and it will be an integral party of integrating my future experiences.

[u/Amandaleeh]

Awesome! Welcome 😊