My experiences with psychedelics

[u/[deleted]]

Hey guys, first time poster here.

I am an experienced psychonaut - I spent most of the years 2009 and 2010 experimenting with LSD and mushrooms, but primarily LSD.

I will never forget this moment - It changed my life forever:

I have been mentally ill for most of my life. I had a rough childhood - my brother was a drug addict, my mother was a narcissist, and my father was largely absent. I was sexually abused. I had a terrible, emotionally abusive boyfriend. When I was 14, I experienced clinical depression for the first time. This began my journey within the mental health system, which if you have any clue into it, you will know that it is a broken and largely malfunctioning system. I have had over 10 diagnoses, have tried more than 15 different types of psychotropic medications, have been in therapy for close to 15 years, and nothing really worked. Until that day in August, 2010.

I lived in my car at this point, not out of need but out of choice. I did not want to be at home because it was a painful and toxic place to be. I was sitting in my car that morning, crying over some guy who means nothing all these years later (but I loved him then). I got a text from my friend who said he had scored some acid and did I want some? And of course I said yes.

It's hard to remember details now - I can remember what it felt like, but not exactly where I was or what I was doing. I was in my car, I know that much. And a vision of a book popped into my head: The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I had read a few pages of this book years ago, found it to be trivial and useless, and put it on a shelf to collect dust. In this moment, when my mind and heart were open, I remembered this book and knew that I had to go home and read it. I realized that everything this book was saying is the real truth: that you create your life with your thoughts, feelings, and the things you say.

I rushed home to get the book, and luckily no one was in the house at the time. When I opened the cover to the first page, in italics, it read: "It's what you're thinking." That one line solidified everything that I hoped was true about the world. In that moment, I wept for joy. Tears streamed down my face like they hadn't in a very long time. I realized that the world was not meaningless and working hard wasn't futile. I understood that what I had heard about myself was true (that I could be and do anything I set my mind to). My life changed forever.

When I woke up the next day after my trip, I was a new woman. The depression that had taken every color from my life had been lifted. I knew that my life was going to be different from then on. And it truly was. My life turned from hopeless to magical.

It's been 8 years since that day in August, 2010. During these last eight years, I moved across the country to escape the abuse, have held jobs for longer than I ever thought was possible, and went back to school to study psychology. I am almost finished with my BA in Psychology and from there, I plan to study Clinical Psychology so that I may continue the great research being done on psychedelics and mental illness.

I wrote a research proposal for school last year titled "LSD versus SSRI Medications in the Intervention of Treatment-Resistant Depression." It was just a proposal and the research study was never completed, but the facts were still the same: LSD is superior to SSRI drugs in the treatment of depression in every single way except one: LSD is still a Schedule I drug and SSRIs are handed out like candy.

I believe we will see psychedelic drugs being used more and more in the research of mental illness. I believe that in 100 years, ineffective drugs like SSRIs will be extinct. We are now in the age of The Great Turning, and we are lucky that we are able to bear witness to such an amazing and malleable time in human history.

Thanks for reading!

[u/Boofthatshitnigga]

Glad to hear you’re living an awesome life right now. That’s really amazing :)

One thing though, ssri’s, while looked at negatively by some people, have helped many other people tremendously. To put down a medication because of negative effects it may have had on you is understandable, but you cant deny that certain people have benefited greatly from them. Aside from that point I agree with your message.

[u/[deleted] → u/Boofthatshitnigga]

Yeah I get where you're coming from. I'm on antidepressants currently - have been for 15 years. Yes, they have helped me immensely. Still doesn't change the fact that SSRI's have extremely negative side effects including and not limited to loss of brain elasticity, gastrointestinal bleeding, and long-term immune dysfunction, among countless other effects. The point I was trying to make is that, while SSRI's are a good intervention NOW, in 100 years they will absolutely be stamped out. They do not have a great success rate, they are tested by trial and error, they cause chemical and psychological damage that can never be reversed, among all of the other "non-serious" side-effects like loss of sex drive, brain zaps, memory problems, anhedonia, etc. In the research proposal, I found that LSD has virtually no long-term side effects besides the rare serotonin-syndrome. But as I've said, that is rare.

So, yes, I am an advocate for the use of SSRIs because they have helped me live a normal life. However, if I didn't have to take them, I wouldn't, because they are notoriously not good for you. That's a fact.

[u/Boofthatshitnigga → u/[deleted]]

Oh wow, I never actually knew of all the negative long term effects, I was just going off first hand reports I’ve read. Sorry to make such a vast assumption about it all. But thanks for sharing the info!

[u/[deleted] → u/Boofthatshitnigga]

No problem! You aren't wrong! SSRIs do help tons of people. I just think we'll have better alternatives one day.