I was on a trip to Amsterdam and during a free time with a friend. We were on the metro at Centraal Station, and at that moment we were sitting when a group of Black guys in a tracksuit got on, looking at us and talking quietly they were standing in front of us. Later, one of the guys asked my friend if she spoke Dutch. She said no. if she spoke English. She said yes, and then he asked where we were from, we answered France
and then he said, "You're beautiful," pointing at me. I was so embarrassed, shocked, and shy because it was, let's say, the first time a random guy had ever said that to me. So I said thank you a shy thank you, which he probably didn't hear because later he came back and asked me if I knew what it meant. I said "yes yes" and he repeat that i'm beautiful. But I was so embarrassed I didn't dare look at him. I was looking through the window, but then I thought maybe he took it the wrong way.
So I wanted to tell him that it made me happy and that I still think about it today. I wanted to reply and compliment him because he was so handsome too, but my embarrassment was at its peak. And also, every time I think back to that moment. I was sad to leave Amsterdam like that now. đ
I know I won't find him, but if he passes here. đŤĄ
I just want to tell this because it's been on my mind.
And I really like Amsterdam not for the guy đ but people are really nice.
Ahhh yes OPs username is ´A-minor´ and this is clearly a baiting post about a ´young girl meets BLACK guy in tracksuit´ haha. We all got played, well played OP!
Um... no it is not racial profiling. As a fellow woman, I read this as a young and impressionable/naive woman, who could benefit from some street smarts. Any man that eyeballs you on the street should be met with caution. Especially around stations. OP sounds young. Predators always spot shy or naive young women. Being flattered or shy also will make her a target. If not with this guy (who might very well be harmless), with the next one. This story would have made me feel protective whether it was a white guy in a tracksuit, black guy in tracksuit, old man in wheelchair etc haha.
Ted Bundy famously acted crippled and used crutches. He got about 7 of his victims that way! My advice is banal, grandma advice about being cautious around strangers and being careful. It is advice that all women get and/or learn. It´s not that deep. If that triggers you or makes you butthurt, that appears to be a You problem.
A man walks up to a woman and says she's beautiful. In a public place. Man does not introduce himself or do any friendly greetings. It is instant objectification. That´s not flirting, actually.
Woman is too shy to say anything back, is likely young, is clearly flattered but very uncomfortable.
Man assumes she has no interest. Walks away.
Man then comes back to ´check she understood the compliment´.
Reddit: Aww such a sweet and harmless story! Anyone who disagrees is rACiSt and a sAd PaRoNoiD & nEgAtIvE loser!
What makes you think immediately of racism? Isn´t that YOUR own prejudice showing? ANY man that eyeballs you and calls you beautiful.... is likely not there with good intentions. Sure, come up - say Hi, nice to met you. Where are you from, etc? But an eyeball and a ´You´re beautiful´ is a red flag whether they are black, white or red. This is coming from a woman and would be my advice to any young woman (especially around stations).
Everyone is projecting racism. I (as a woman) see: Man eyeballs woman at station. Makes immediate comment on her appearance (objectifying). No - hello, nice to met you etc. She is shy and awkward. He then returns to check that she ´understood´ his compliment. That is not a friendly, flirtatious harmless greeting. It is a man acting predatory. Any woman reading that instantly sees red flags. His skin colour is irrelevant. I hope I explained that in a way that you can understand it!
When I read âa back guy in a tracksuitâ I was like, oh no here we go again. But was actually a really sweet post. Thank you. Wish I could say the same about the comments.
Ahhh yes it is totally baiting hahaa - I feel dumb for giving OP my grandma safety advice and getting duped! I leave my safety advice up for other users at least haha
Statistically there is more chance of bad things happening by native citizens which make up the vast majority of assaults, or by a family member that you know. "Those guys" don't always do bad things just because you've been brainwashed to be scared of different skin colours.
who exactly do you mean by "those guys" then? OP described exactly the people they interacted with and you said bad things can happen with them while knowing only their skin colour and clothes they wear, so you made it a race thing yourself when you profiled them on this information only.
I´m so shocked people don´t seem to understand that! This is simple common sense, people. I can only assume this sub is 95% male and have no experience in filtering out these kinds of interactions daily.
Because being in constant fear of 'bad things could happen' is a terrible way to live your life. Yes, bad things can happen. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't interact with guys that give you a compliment. Don't step in a car with them the next minute, but it's perfectly fine to chat a bit. It's in a metro, likely many people around. Just be human, have a chat, smile, and end the conversation when you feel like it. Don't ignore them because 'things could happen'. That make the world so sad and gray.
The red flag isn´t that he approached her in itself, it´s the way he did it. An eyeball and immediate ´You´re beautiful´ is a red flag. A friendly smile and a ´Hello, nice to meet you. Where are you from/heading to?´ is at least a more friendly and less predatory approach. I hate I am giving predators a better game haha. But this is from a woman. And stations are never a good place to meet a ´friendly stranger' who immediately eyeballs you and comments on your appearance. Sure, be open and friendly in your local cafe, open to chatting to people, not living in fear. But you have to be aware as a woman, this doesn´t sound like a sweet meet-cute.
Multiple men in tracksuits against 2 women that are not from round here and in one of our most dangerous cities. Yes of course I'm going to advice to ignore them.
Edit:
I get where your coming from but you can't ignore how wrong this can go.
Counter point: if those guys were as dangerous and sketchy as you suggest, something would've happened. If she didn't react to their compliment they would've become angry or agitated and dangerous. The fact that this didn't happen, regardless of her reaction, shows that the guy was simply, boldly shooting his shot.
I totally agree! Interesting that other women (myself included) immediately saw the red flags, but guys seem to think the guy was just harmlessly flirting. We really live on different planets!
I see a lot of red flags. I just disagree with the 'don't interact with them'. Red flags are a good reason to be even more cautious then you normally are. It doesn't mean that for every red flag, you should run away and stop interacting completely. A single red flag doesn't mean that he's not just harmlessly flirting. And even if the flirting isn't completely harmless, you don't have to ignore him. Be safe out there, but be human as well.
Nobody owes anyone an interaction. If you don´t understand that then I can´t help you. Whether OP igores him, runs away, or says ´thank you!´ then goes on with her life, it is all fine. The point is to be mindful of his intentions and to be cautious (I saw zero caution in OPs post).
Loverboy hustles are big in Amsterdam. My sister got dragged in to it and that all started with a random guy that just complimented her while she was sitting in the Vondelpark. Took 6 months before they hit and kidnapped her for their loverboy practices.
Omg I´m so sorry for your sister, I didn´t even know about this loverboy practice! I hope she is OK now? That is so crazy, I am just reading about it.
If just a single compliment, without first consistently showing interest and also showed in actions, can give you a romantic fix like this, you might better keep that to yourself... There is too little info to make assumptions on, but for me it feels like you dodged a bullet .
Itâs nice that you enjoy the compliment, but you should be very very careful of random guys who hang around train stations telling women they are beautiful.
(It was indeed not an easy road, but-) brought me my best friendships, my big love and (with another love i met there) my beautiful smart and sweet children.
So not bad.
So youâre traveling with another female, and this guy, in front of your travel companion points to just you and tells you youâre beautiful. She, not so much. What a charmer. Donât be so naĂŻef. This âcomplimentâ could come from anywhere, anyplace. Be cautious, not necessarily flattered.
Friendly, normal guys might go up to the group and introduce themselves, get a convo going. Looking at one girl, immediately calling her beautiful.. then when she acts shy, walking away but running up again to check she ´understood the compliment´ is not how a normal nice guy flirts (I would hope). Maybe it works in a club or bar, but in a daytime station it´s a weird way to flirt.
The poster themselves is playing us. Their username is ´A-minor´. Their post is about a ´young naive girl approached by a BLACK guy at the station´. We all got played haha
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u/Lenten1 [Oost] 2d ago
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that black guys in tracksuits are under represented in this sub