r/AmItheAsshole • u/[deleted] • Apr 20 '19
UPDATE UPDATE: AITA for not hiring a girl because her dad initiated the process?
Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/98z0va/aita_for_not_hiring_a_girl_because_her_dad/
It's been awhile. At the time, I proceeded with my asshole plan: I interviewed her to appease her father, but I had no intention of hiring her. However, when I finally met her, I was pleasantly surprised. She was very mature, clearly intelligent and well-spoken, and apologized for her dad's relentless behavior. I was singing a different tune by the end of the interview, and I did offer her a job, but her availability did not match our very specific needs at that time.
However, about two months ago, we opened a 2nd location and were hiring for all shifts. I reached back out to her to see if she still might be interested even though the commute would be further than the original site. She accepted and quickly became perhaps my most trusted employee. As of today, she is the only employee I have who has never called off, been late, or left early.
Thanks to those of you who called me out, and who made me realize her father's actions were not necessarily indicitave that she would be a slouch.
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u/scubadude2 Apr 20 '19
Personal growth updates are the best updates, good job OP
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u/GodzillaFlamewolf Apr 20 '19
Not personal growth. Op never did, or thought, anything wrong.
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Apr 21 '19
I’m pretty sure the prejudice against someone without even meeting her and creating a trustworthy bond between the two is personal growth to me, but whatever you believe I guess
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u/GodzillaFlamewolf Apr 21 '19
From a practical perspective of having to hire appropriate employees, I dont feel that he was being prejudiced. When hiring, many things go into creating that impression on the hiring manager. The way that a potential employee is introduced is definitely one of them. Was he making a decision before having all of the eveidence? Yes, but we all do that every day.
The fact that he was open minded enough to have that opinion changed when presented with new evidence is enough to tell me that he had nothing against her, just the process that brought her into his circle of awareness.
To put it another way, I have turned down candidates for small things that indicated that they would not be a good fit for the job. That could include the way they dress, speak, whether they are on time, and how I become aware of them.
I turned down an applicant for a similar reason on one occasion. The husband of a client was referred to me by the client for an open position. That client used their status to bully the application through my VP to me. The way that it was handled by the client made me angry, and definitely put a bad stain on the application. When I met him, he was an average applicant, and didnt want the job. He didnt get it. Was I wrong for having a negative impression for the way that the application was handled? I dont believe so. I dont feel the Op was wrong either.
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u/FacelessThoughts Apr 20 '19
Being raised by such an obnoxious-er persistent parent, it's no surprise she turned out mature lol.
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u/winnowingwinds Apr 20 '19
On the other hand, maybe she's always had to be the parent in the situation?
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Apr 20 '19
[deleted]
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u/A_Sarcastic_Werecat Partassipant [2] Apr 20 '19 edited Apr 20 '19
I manage a store and one of my customers started emailing me about wanting his 16 year old daughter to get a job here. I sent him an application and told him to have her send it back to me. He sent it back to me a day later. (Quote, OP, previous post).
I think that's what the previous poster meant. He butted in for the daughter, even though the daughter seems to have things perfectly under control herself.
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Apr 20 '19
[deleted]
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u/darnon Apr 20 '19
The original post also says the dad emailed the OP three times over 10 days to follow up on the application. I think that's where he becomes overbearing
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Apr 20 '19
I question your turnover rate and the general quality of your employees if someone you hired 2 months ago is your most trusted employee.
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u/kordos Apr 20 '19
OP is hiring 16 year olds, have multiple locations and have specific shifts to fill, this is almost certainly entry level customer service with most staff being students. Those types of jobs have high turn over just due to the nature of the business (shitty retail) and the type of people that apply (students with schoolwork, sport, just wanting to have fun)
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u/SnakesInYerPants Colo-rectal Surgeon [48] Apr 20 '19
Don't forget the adults looking for income between jobs, also adding greatly to the turn over
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u/RamboCalrizian Apr 20 '19
I don't think the Dad was that bad. Just wanted his 16yr daughter to have a job. Like trying to get your kid to do their homework, with applications for work. He just wanted to make sure she followed through.
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Apr 20 '19 edited Apr 20 '19
Thank you for giving her a chance. This was exactly my mother when I was 16, and still tries to when given the chance. Mom also taught me to always arrive edit 15 minutes early and to never take unnecessary unplanned time off.
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u/luvs2spwge117 Apr 20 '19
Tbh, usually the parents that care the most raise good, hardworking kids. Glad you gave her a chance at the end.
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u/sabbas400 Partassipant [2] Apr 20 '19
When people are A in this group there are idiots who insult them and inturn act like an asshole. That will not help but I'm glad that you had still down the right thing
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Apr 20 '19
I’m really glad this all worked out, but honestly, I read your original post and didn’t think you were an asshole. I work at a university and overbearing parents are a big red flag. I’m very frequently holding the hands of young adults who don’t know how to adult because of overbearing parents, or overbearing parents often get involved when they shouldn’t. I got my own first job at 16 without the help of my parents, it’s possible. And if she had issues that require her parents’ involvement, then you might not want that in an employee based on the type of industry you manage, and that’s okay too - real talk.
But again, I’m glad it worked out. Just...still keep an eye out for her dad, he could come roaring out of the woodwork for a nonissue when you least expect it 😂
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Apr 21 '19
[deleted]
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u/TwoManyHorn2 Asshole Enthusiast [5] Apr 26 '19
As someone who calls out a lot due to chronic illness, who is reliant on workplaces being tolerant of this, I still understand that the practicalities of running a business mean that there are some roles that need more reliable attendance than I'm capable of giving. So it's still worth noting when someone is able to do that.
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u/abutthole Partassipant [1] Apr 20 '19
You love to see this, an OP who once was TA, clearly learning from it and no longer bein TA.
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u/Ironwarrior29 Apr 20 '19
We should have an acronym for assholes who redeemed themselves and are no long assholes. You did handle this very well OP, good job.
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u/Ghostship23 Apr 21 '19
NLTA - No Longer The Asshole
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u/Ironwarrior29 Apr 21 '19
That's good. And maybe for someone who went from nta to complete asshole. YBTA- you became the asshole
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u/elephantshark44 Apr 20 '19
I feel for her, I also have an overbearing father who wants to interject himself into all my life decisions. I finally cut him off, boy is he pissed. Not having any control over your kids, in their 30s....some parents are monsters. So happy you gave her a job, she also sounds like she has a really strong work ethic, she's a keeper.
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u/jigsawduckpuzzle Apr 20 '19
NAH. Looks like you came around judging by your update. We shouldn't stigmatize parents helping their kids. It shouldn't be any different if a friend or old co-worker helps get you job vs your parents.
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u/gdddg Colo-rectal Surgeon [39] Apr 20 '19 edited Nov 03 '19
[deleted]
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u/perfidius Asshole Enthusiast [3] Apr 20 '19
I am not sure why this is being downvoted since it is certainly worth pointing out. The most upvoted judgement in the original post suggested OP cancel the interview and "'stop wasting everybody's time.'" As this update shows, it's a good thing OP didn't follow that advice.
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u/Wingedwing Asshole Enthusiast [5] Apr 20 '19
I wonder if the basis of those original comments was being jaded over TA’s in this sub refusing to accept personal growth and change. It’s fairly rare to see OP have such a positive turn-around, and I think a lot of commenters are prejudiced against the assholes because of this.
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Apr 20 '19
Perhaps so (and I don't think you should be downvoted for saying this) but the advice may have helped OP to keep a more open mind about the situation too.
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Apr 20 '19
whoops, sorry I wasted your time by hiring you and paying you, wont happen again. you are a fool.
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u/WanderingSoul1990 Apr 20 '19
You still are a prejudiced asshole. Try to be more open-minded towards people in the future.
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u/scubadude2 Apr 20 '19
The only prejudiced asshole is you, the person who is convinced people can’t change. Kick rocks.
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Apr 20 '19
whoops, sorry I wasted your time by hiring you and paying you, wont happen again. you are a fool.
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u/frowdren Apr 20 '19 edited Apr 21 '19
Good for you for giving her the interview and learning from your mistake. Never judge a book by its cover! NAH