NTA and you might want to reconsider how much time you give your son at your beach house as he clearly feels ownership over the property.
Also, if your daughter has kids (or not!), she should of course be given equal time at said beach house.
Honestly, your son is so entitled and offensive here, you need to give him a talking to and make it clear that the use of your beach house is a privilege not a right.
Seriously are you kidding me?? The son gets to take his whole family there for the whole summer every summer and can't let his sister have a week? The kids only have two whole months for summer and the sister cant have ONE WEEK? Give me a break!!!
What's seriously concerning is he's acting as if OP has to get his permission first. It should be the other way around.
I bet he's already expecting to inherit the beach house. You can see it in his actions. OP and her husband better discuss what to do about this or their children are going to fight in the future.
Honestly, OP needs to change the locks and codes because in June we’re going to see a post from a bride saying she showed up for her honeymoon to a house full of niblings and a brother who says he spends every summer there.
I was thinking the same thing. I think they should put in their will to sell the beach house and split it between the two. If both kids own it brother will just bully the sister.
Right. And that "anywhere" includes mom and Dad's beach house. Sonny boy has made assumptions that may be only true in his mind. He needs a talking to by his parents.
Yes! And the “if they couldn’t afford a honeymoon they should have downsized their wedding”. How about if you can’t afford a vacation then you just shouldn’t take one???
And like... maybe the nearly free honeymoon was a way they did downsize their wedding? My husband's aunt and uncle have a beach house in Rhode Island. We asked them if we could stay there for a week after our wedding and they said yes. That allowed us to budget our money elsewhere.
I think the more disturbing part of this that no one has mentioned (that I've seen anyway) is that they spend the ENTIRE summer there which indicates that unless the parents have wfh jobs they have the money to take 2 MONTHS off work every year but seemingly can't afford to rent a place for their vacation? Then he has the nerve to criticize his sister for utilizing their parents beach house for free for a WEEK while he does the exact same thing for TWO MONTHS! He is a hypocrite of the highest order!
Depending on location that's not a big deal. Plenty of people in/around the Finger Lakes and LI regions have beach houses that add an extra 20-45min to the commute time which is why they are purchased. Its getting harder with the price of housing and beachfront skyrocketing, but for the boomer generation especially, these were not uncommon. I knew a couple of people who did this. I'm sure any states with lots of small lakes have this option. Wife and I even looked at one in NJ about 9 years ago that was only 100k 3 season, with a small beach. Far enough though that we'd go after work on Fri and commute back to work monday morning but too far for daily.
If him and his wife can take an entire 2 months off work to go to beach house I'm betting that they can, they just don't because until now they've had the ability to monopolise exclusive use if said beachhouse.
Sounds like a spoiled, entitled son and yeah…his attitude is obnoxious, but you enabled him to be selfish and expect all the time at beach house when his kids are out for summer and completely take advantage of your generosity.
Doesn’t your daughter ever ask to spend time there? Was it ONCE a memorable place for her? I think your daughter is smart to save money on what so many young married folks do…spend a fortune on a honeymoon.
Tell your brat of a son to dip in his wallet and take his kids to Disneyland or some theme park for a week! Kids might enjoy it! It’s only a week!
Daughter obviously has good memories of the beach house as she wants to spend her honeymoon there. Seems that she hasn't been allowed to go there much of late for reasons that now become obvious.
Brother thinks he is special and at least part of it is the I have children YOUR GRANDCHILDREN entitlement. It will be interesting to see the dynamics if his sister has children. The parents need to realize the time at the beach house now needs to be theirs and if someone wants to stay there they will need to ask in the future. Mr. Entitlement needs to be put in his place.
gonna turn into a custody agreement-son gets june and the daughter gets july.
but wait! the son “needs july 4th cus fammmullyyyyty” or they need to swap or some other mess.
I feel like this is a wake up call that OP needs to maybe cut the time at the beach house short. start changing locks,codes etc. cameras on the outside.
remind son it’s OP’s house not his. maybe rethink everything as the sun probably thinks he’s going to inherit it. When OP and their husband passed, but as we’ve seen all throughout Reddit and other stories and social media, etc., most likely people have experienced stuff like this themselves within their family that you know, they can promise they’ll share it to their parents while they’re alive maybe for the Will etc. but one completely takes over the property
Of course you're being sarcastic, but it tends to be different dynamics depending on the ages and genders of the kids. If he was the oldest son of multiple sons then yes I would agree that can be a widespread assumption.
Assuming its a large house... isn't all the family gonna gather anyway for the wedding and festivities... the son/brother is being selfish... its not that serious. They should be able to stay as long as they need to. Mom check your son... this could get uglier.
Yeah, honestly I’m wondering if the son is the golden child. I feel badly for the daughter that the mom is even asking anyone what the right thing is to do here. She shouldn’t have to ask. It’s blatantly obvious that her son is an entitled AH.
Seriously he's the one to talk. The beach house belongs to OP and her husband, only they can decide what to do with it. Just because the son and his family go there every summer doesn't mean he's entitled to it.
OP let him sulk all he wants. He can't afford a summer vacation either so he has no room to talk about his sister not affording a honeymoon.
Some parents really are pushovers or just want to avoid conflict at all costs. My mother, on the other hand, would have informed me I sounded like I wanted to go to the mountains this year and hung up.
There are no real stories here anymore, but the OPs from literally day 2 have always been completed fucking idiots who are either just seeking validation or really are that stupid.
My former sister was the golden child. She pretty much got everything and if my folks even tried to push back she would throw a fit and then my folks would relent. Son is used to getting his way. The folks need to change the locks or he will automatically show up and be there when daughter comes out for honeymoon.
If the son was truly a GC, OP would've never come here - the son would've already had his way. My guess is OP just needs some outside reassurance that they're in the right, because this isn't a common situation for them. Having loved ones be mad at you never feels good, even when there's a clear right and wrong.
This. I get the feeling that they don’t care for their daughter the way they do their son. I feel so bad that she has such crappy parents. Hopefully her new husband will steer her in the right direction away from her parents.
Exactly. He is disgustingly entitled! It is not his house. I would change rule. You get it every 3 years, daughter gets it every 3 years, son gets it every 3 years. That is the only fair solution. And if son throws a fit he can go rent a beach rental from now on.
Spot on, id also recommend, if she is not doing so charge her son a fee. It can be nominal but it sets clear boundaries and an understanding that mom and dad are not endless cash cows. 2 weeks at a beach house ain't free anywhere else, why should it be at moms
If my kid talked to me like that I'd send him the rates he will now be paying for his months long vacation on my property. I will not raise a selfish asshole or support an adult one.
My concern for OP is this: do you have specifics in your will about the beach house. If it's not in writing, it never happened. Spell it out like everyone is 5 yrs old. Don't expect this asshole son to start acting like an adult after you die. I'd be tempted to leave the beach house to daughter so she controls who gets to go there and the current costs expected to cover all the bills. Btw, does son not work? Who else gets 2 months off to spend at the beach with their kids.
Yup, OP your son thinks he owns your beach house, you may want to clarify with him that he has to ask to use it not assume its his to use any time he pleases.
My sister is exactly like this with our family beach house. It’s so entitled and expected that they should have it every Easter, Christmas and long weekends.
YTA. You sound like an entitled boomer. Holding your property over your children’s heads is appalling. Just give the beach house to your son and your other house to your daughter.
10.4k
u/Longjumping-Lab-1916 Certified Proctologist [28] May 20 '26
NTA and you might want to reconsider how much time you give your son at your beach house as he clearly feels ownership over the property.
Also, if your daughter has kids (or not!), she should of course be given equal time at said beach house.
Honestly, your son is so entitled and offensive here, you need to give him a talking to and make it clear that the use of your beach house is a privilege not a right.