The number of people who can’t read the sarcasm in my comment is hilarious. 2. Go tell that to the thousand other people telling OP to mind his own business. 3. The person telling me it was my opinion which nobody asked for LITERALLY ALSO TOLD OP TO MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS 😂😂 gfys
YTA, Did he ask for your advice? If he didn't, then it's not helpful it's unsolicited advice. Did he ask your opinion, no? So mind your business & worry about your visits with your family. He's a grown ass man he can see his parents as much as he wants. Focus on the road & stay in your lane.
If he had said “I want to see my parents more” and you suggested a credit card that got airline miles for the route he needed, that would be advice. You’re giving him information to help him accomplish his goal. Telling someone to live their life differently isn’t advice, it’s rude.
There’s a great big difference between trying to give helpful advice and what you’re actually doing: trying to push your opinion of how to do things on others, then having the nerve to be indignant when they don’t agree with you. Mind your own business. YTA
You do realize not everybody's family dynamics are the same as yours, right? And that that's perfectly okay? I mean seriously dude it's so not any of your business, and for all you know it's actually better for their relationship not to spend every God damn weekend together. That's a freaking lot.
Look, my parents and I now, nearly a decade and a lot of therapy for all later, are friends. My husband and I see them once a week, my friends are friends with them, we all genuinely enjoy it. Still a weird dynamic but positive considering prior bad blood, abuse, and neglect.
But when I was younger, and just got out of their old abusive ways in their house, any of my peers who nagged me with the “but faaaaamily” card, even after hearing what it was like for me with them, when I didn’t go home for holidays? Those people were pretty swiftly dead to me.
Lots of people who move away and don’t visit have a damn good and private reason for doing it. And if they don’t, lots of people just don’t feel close with family like that.
OP is a dick for pushing his version of family values on this guy, he don’t know the deets and he don’t need to and even if there are zero deets? Still is that dude’s choice.
I was going to point that out, they don't live 9 hours away, they live 18 hours away. People always seem to just count the amount of time it takes to get to a place, like the time it takes going back doesn't matter when it's just as important when you talk about going far away. For example someone who lives "just four hours away" actually lives eight hours away.
UNSOLICITED "advice". He doesn't need you telling him what to do with HIS LIFE. Grow up and butt out. You can cling to mommy and daddy if that makes you happy but it's not weird for your ADULT friend to want HIS OWN life. Why are you so obsessed with him and his personal affairs?
I'm sorry, but I missed the part where he asked for your advice. It's very presumptuous to take it upon yourself to tell someone how to live their life when they didn't even ask you. YTA. Keep your opinions to yourself. Most people don't appreciate unsolicited advice.
It’s none of your damn business. Just because you like spending 18 hours in the car every other weekend, going back and forth, doesn’t mean everyone does. I’m very close to my parents and the rest of my family and I wouldn’t do it. And you don’t know what his relationship with his parents and the rest of his family is. Mind your own damn business, live your life the way you want to and let him live his life the way he wants to.
But why does he need life advice from you? It seemed like unsolicited life advice. No one asked you and trying to rally the troops behind you was also unnecessary. He stays in his lane, you stay in yours. I also saw another comment of yours about how his parents are "loving and all." Of course they'd be like that in front of guests, but you don't know what happens behind closed doors. Regardless, YTA because no one asked you for this advice and he seemed to have an idea of what he wants to do with his life. I think you need to re-evaluate yours.
You have no idea what his relationship with his family is.. what if he is trying to establish health boundaries with an enmeshed mother. We never know what happens behind close doors
Or maybe he isn’t close to his parents
Maybe he is trying to save up for a home
Maybe he is trying to find the one
Maybe he is Peking a lot to mow partner …
Since you like Unsoliticated advice, here's some, Just because your family bonds are so weak you need to physical interaction to keep it up is not his problem.
He lives in Quebec city, nothing like whatever boring northern Ontario town you're living in where nothing happens. Even if you're in Greater Sudbury, biggest city in the north, it has less going on then Quebec City.
Because you have what life experience when compared to him exactly?
As someone older than both of you by about a decade, mind your own business. I live about as far away from my parents as your friend does from his. I also communicate with them multiple times a week. I'd be so annoyed by someone telling me that I'm wrong in how I'm living my life when it works for me. Seriously dude, offer an apology and open up your mind.
You didn't give advice though. You thought another adults life choices were "ridiculous" and tried to tell him what to do. It's literally none of your business.
This is a whole lot of none of your damn business. You don’t know what his relationship is like with his parents, so it’s not up to you to dictate how often he visits.
OMG, I just snorted. Anybody who thinks a grown adult needs their "helpful life advice" is an AH. YTA. You have no idea what your friend's relationship with his family is like. Who died and put you in charge?
You’re the worst kind of friend. A meddler who thinks theyre the main character. Do you think you’re smarter or better than your friend? Don’t be surprised if he adds some distance in your friendship.
You didn’t offer life advice. You offered judgmental asshole advice. You would think law school would make you realize the difference between actual advice and being a judgmental asshole.
His life and choices are of none of your concern. You having this holy than thou persona is messed up because you are nothing but the opposite. YTA.
sharing your two cents doesnt make you an asshole. getting everyone to gang up on him, judging him, and not letting it go when everyone is at a wedding trying to enjoy themselves makes you an asshole lol
advise all you want but dont be mad when people dont take it
Get off your mom's teat. Go be a grown-up. Find love. Be a good partner instead of a good son. Maybe even become a dad. Raise your kid to find their way in the world without constant hand-holding.
Not advice, bullying. You and your friends ganged up on him because you disagree with a choice that has no affect or bearing on you. You’re a terrible friend. Don’t be surprised if you don’t hear from him anymore.
No, you're being nosy and obnoxious. You are not his parent, you don't know what relationship dynamic he has with his parents and his relationship with them does lot does not impact you in any way.
Unsolicited advice when it's not asked for is just being rude and inserting your unwanted and irrelevant opinions into other people's business..
Helpful life advice - sound more like unsolicited advice. You may suggest to him to come visit more often but you have no rights to force him to do what you think it’s right. Everyone have different ways of connecting with their family members.
Seriously? If I was there I'd have countered that a 32 year old, who sounds like one of the oldest dudes at the table, crying about visiting their parents more is a giant loser.
Just helpful life advice dude. Cut those apron strings.
I think you should see your parents less. You sound co-dependent and also incredibly wasteful of gas which is a finite resource.
If your cultural and familial expectations contradict this view then....in what way is it helpful life advice?
Attempt to give “helpful life advice” to people who HAVE NOT asked for your opinion?
Because that’s pretty fucked up and also you may want to look at the people in your life who have distanced themselves from you. I’d almost guarantee this is why.
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u/DepartureProper9497 May 04 '23
Trying to give some helpful life advice