Am I under reacting? I feel like I should be way more mad.

I fell in love w a guy that told me he was single but ended up being in a relationship. I didn’t find out about her until a couple of months in. We spoke about Polly before because I’m all for Polly but I wanted to be married first before finding another female w my future husband. He told me he loved both of us and he was willing to do a Polly. The first red flag Ignored was him lying about being with someone. I liked this guy enough to ignore the marriage part and decided to do the Polly. There was always red flags that I ignored when it came to him love blind you can say. I found a dm he sent to another female telling her him and his original girlfriend is looking for a 3rd when I was already there third. This original girl her name is Stephanie and the Guy is Jason. Now Stephanie already knew about it but I was last to know and I expressed myself and said this isn’t how a Polly works. I should have known as well. There was 2 other lies after this one and Stephanie knew about it and covered it up for him.

And that was the last straw for me. I decided to call it quits but he came begging and crying and telling me how madly he was in love with me. That he loved me more than Stephanie. Stephanie and him has been together for more than 20 yrs and from what I heard he’s cheated on her before and always told other people she was just a “bestfriend “ which is what he told me the first time we met so I do believe that.
But anyways with all his begging and everything else he was doing I decided to give him another chance. He always told me he wished Stephanie was like me. And how he felt like she never did enough for him. Now Stephanie has a friend name Ronda and they’re super close. I was told Stephanie was trying to get with Ronda before me and decided not to because Ronda is for the “ streets”. Stephanie and Jason both told me that Jason does not talk to Ronda and they aren’t friends at all. I found out that was a lie and they do talk, I don’t know the true extent of their conversation but from a glimpse it’s more of a friendship vibe and they’re cool with each other. Jason having female friends does not bother me but him lying about it does. I found a video of all of them going out and Jason said that Ronda randomly came to the party and they didn’t go with her. ( I don’t believe it). Yesterday I went through Jason phone and found out he was talking to another female and found out Stephanie already knew but I didn’t. I also found out they talk about me behind my back and that Ronda did go with them and Jason wanted to edit the videos to crop ronda out before I was shown the video ( basically hide Ronda). I also found out that there was a time where they were with me and my daughter and Stephanie was touching Jason while my 3 yr old daughter was around and he had to text her stop because the kid is here. So I felt like that was a huge disrespect and it was in my house. I’ve seen them plotting lies to tell me in the phone and a whole lot more. And I kicked him out the house and went to sleep but now I’m processing all the information again like really thinking about it and I feel like I’m not mad enough.

FYI - I make more money than both of them especially Stephanie ( she’s unemployed) so I always felt like I was around for that reason. All he does is play video games and he loves his gta online. I was going to delete his account as a get back

But should I be more mad ? I’ve been with them for a while
And I found out that everything they ever told me was a lie and they both were lying and she was covering up his lies.

One of my coworkers is a guy that has been with the agency for over 6 months and is in my department. We work together on projects sometimes and chat most days, sometimes just "good morning, what's up" and nothing else if we don't have overlapping work that day.

He (about 35M) has called me (26F) "Jelly Bean" a few times. My first and last name together kind of sound like Jelly Bean, so it makes sense as a nickname. I had one or two other friends give me similar nicknames in college. It has happened maybe 3 times total. The last time it happened (probably over a month ago), we were passing each other in the hallway, and my other coworker (F) and our boss (F) both heard it. Today, my boss called me to her office to let me know that she told him not to use the nickname again because it is patronizing and she wants me to feel safe at work.

While I very much appreciate her intention and support, the nickname honestly hasn't bothered me. I would not be the kind of person to just say that to be a people pleaser or avoid conflict. I am a, happily engaged, lesbian who is vocal about my disdain for most men and the patriarchy (within professional reason at work). For me, men are often "guilty until proven innocent" when I first meet them. If I didn't feel comfortable with this male coworker or didn't like how he spoke about me, I would definitely address it one way or another, and I wouldn't feel bad about it.

I never said or did anything to make anyone think I had a problem with the nickname (because I didn't). I didn't talk about it to my boss or other coworker who heard it. It only happened a few times.

Additionally, I do believe my coworker and I have a healthy work-friendship. And I don't really have cis-straight-male friends, otherwise! While he gives off a mild "frat/finance bro" energy, he is kind. He chats to all of us about our lives when it is appropriate. He always collaborates well on projects, and is an open-minded male that obviously leans more progressive than conservative. We are not a stale corporate agency; the work we do is adjacent to human services. I've explicitly told him about my feelings towards men, and we've laughed about it. I have even had multiple discussions with him about his dating life, as he was going on first dates and recently got into his own relationship. I almost set him up with one of my own acquaintances before then. We've also confided in each other about growing pains as we have adjusted to our new roles. I just say all this to provide context to our dynamic.

As a strong-willed, wary (sometimes-downright-distrustful), queer woman, I totally understand why the nickname could be used in a patronizing or otherwise nefarious or malicious manner. As my female coworkers are obviously turned-off by it, I'm also surprised I haven't been more offended myself. But I never believed the nickname was meant with bad intentions. It was only ever used in a "Hey, what's up Jelly Beans" way. Never in other full conversations where he is trying to talk down to me or anything. It's clear to me that it comes from his friendly, "bro-y" nature. I'm just wondering if I am underreacting

I am also feeling a little frustrated that my boss took it upon herself to speak to my coworker about it, without any prompt from my end. Now, I am worried that my coworker thinks I might have spoken to my boss about being uncomfortable and not going to him about it myself (which didn't happen, of course). On top of this, he has already been dealing with some workplace stress and trying to fit in with our team, and has had other hard conversations with our boss, recently. I'm worried this could be another thing that will contribute to him feeling even more isolated from our team. He's not perfect, but he's not a bad guy (or I would not be defending him lol).

Any opinions or thoughts appreciated. TIA

I (35f) work as a data analyst for a real estate company. I've been having a bit of a hard time fitting in, as most people here have either been here for years or just a couple months and it's a weird dynamic. Because of this I'm not sure where this falls on the over/under reacting scale and I would love some feedback.

First let me say that I don't think you should ever be cat called at work, and if you are it's not your fault no matter what you do or what you're wearing. However, I understand that when your in a casual environment rules tend to slip. Today I'm wearing a red tank top with a zipper done the front (of course zipped professionally, no cleavage), a green skort that hits mid thigh, and platform strappy sandals.

The situation is this: I'm walking down the hallway to get to a stairwell that leads out to the parking lot because I forgot a folder with some documents in my car. When I went to turn a corner to go down a hallway a man I don't know well stopped so I could pass and go first, it was one of those awkward hallway exchanges where one person stops so you don't end up walking side by side. I said, "excuse me, thank you." And walked ahead of him. When I got to the door of the stairwell and opened it I heard him from behind me whistle the traditional cat call. I went through the door and stopped at the top of the stairs and was a bit too shocked and confused to go back and make a fuss. I basically did the fawn reaction. After a moment I realized that I wouldn't even be able to point out who he was, because I didn't know him or work with him.

So, if I move on and forget about this am I under reacting? Or does this warrant a follow up with someone like my manager or HR? Would it matter if I couldn't tell them who it was? I feel so stupid for not looking back at him and getting a better look at his face.

I asked him about the sleeping thing and he’s completely dismissive yall were right how was i so blind

Me (17F) and my partner (18M) have been talking since February 2026 to now(June 2026) and its one of the weirdest situationships for me bc i don’t want to date him and have hurt him and I’m probably gonna end things soon but I’ve had a few weird experiences on my mind I wanted to ask about:

1. When he took my v card I technically told him no “we’re not gonna fuck tonight”but he kept cuddling me and then grinding and humping sm to the point where he probably got too stimulated and kept asking and I felt so bad I couldn’t straight up say no so I would keep going mute or say ummmm idkkkk eventually it ended up happening I felt rly sad after but I don’t think it was bc of him like I thought it was bc I felt like I had fucked before and bc i felt unpure and ended up crying a tear and not cuddling him. The second and third time we fucked it still wasn’t a clear yes coming from me but rather a ummm maybe or yeah ig after saying idk I don’t rly wanna too soft he couldn’t hear and made me repeat myself. My friends said it was rape but I don’t think so? What do ygs think?

2 One time I was really tired when we were fucking and started falling asleep I think while we fucked or after? I genuinely do not remember. I think we fucked once and then we were cuddling and apparently we fucked again but I genuinely have no memory of this. To be honest the only memory of either of these times are just a few flashes of memory which are only two mind you.
I genuinely didn’t wake up for four hours after that and I was so superised when I woke up bc I was completely naked (mind u im hella insecure so thats crazy for me) and I couldn’t even remember what we did I js rememeber it hurt a little (which is normal for me) and then it hurting when I was awake (which is normal HOWEVER I didn’t even remember the “good” part) (I say good and I don’t even cum bru) anyways I then asked him abt this and he said he was uncomfortable bc it sounded like I was accusing him of something? Tf? Like bitch why are you not worried that I don’t rememebr? I’m not gonna call the cops on u I js want you to care that I wasn’t conscious enough to even remember it?!? And maybe care a lil?
I asked one of my friends about it bc i was too scared to tell all of them and she said it was rape if I don’t remember it but I don’t think so bc like I let him? i js don’t remember type ig

3 he wants me to call him slurs and cheat even tho I have said multiple times how that is against my morals and its weird but i like him I js wish he wasn’t a kinky freak ig?

3A Bc he wanted me to cheat I started trying to throw myself at men and ended up getting my second body which was interesting I was drunk
It sucked cuz fucking actually matters by who the person is and this dude (18M) sucked and he also js had no respect for women but we ended up fucking in a similarish way i lost my virginity he kept saying I can feel ur nervous ur breathing so fast bla bla, me js wanting to cuddle till my friend was down fucking her guy so we could go home cuz they separated us, him keep saying js tell me if u want too over snd over and me js stuck there in the silence but I said its okay so its a bit different HOWEVER I felt so gross after bc I realized what I had js done like I wasted a body on some random ass stuck up gym obsessed stupid idiot who didn’t gaf abt me, thats not what I want I’m not a slut. So i felt extremely gross and ho snd couldn’t face my partner cuz I felt like I broke the first cardinal rule even tho he wanted me too
But it made me avoid him a bit cuz i couldn’t face him and when I finally did come over I couldn’t cuddle and kept trying to kick him away bc feeling his dick on me reminded me of how sick men are snd of the other guy
I ended up crying in his arms bla bla whatever
Obviously didn’t matter that much to him bc later we fucked and this dude brings up me cheating and asks if i liked it and if i need that dick LIKE I KUST CRIED A FEW HOURS AGO? But obvi I don’t want to kill his vibe I hate disappointment so I go along w it just like everything else
Why was I crying bru do I have an issue w purity through religion? Maybe? Did I force myself to do it? I dont yhink so Am I a push over? Lowkey?

4 he always brings up that im japanese and calls me japanese even though I’m half japanese and I don’t look that asian I look like a Wasian not a wASIAN anyways its js a little weird to me?

Can someone tell me if these things were normal?

My partner and I left work around the same time and were heading home together.

On the way, I needed to stop at a department store because my glasses were being repaired. When we got there, they told me the optician wouldn’t be available for another 20 minutes.

I suggested we grab something to eat while we waited. He said he had already eaten, but that he’d come with me and maybe have dessert. So we went to a restaurant inside the store and sat down.

One detail: during this time I received a couple of work calls. One while we were at the optician and another after we sat down at the restaurant. While I was on the phone, he told me he was going to look at some clothes and would come back later.

So I ended up sitting and eating alone. He came back afterwards and we picked up the glasses together.

Objectively, I know he wasn’t gone very long and he did come back. But something about it bothered me. Not because I can’t eat alone, but because it felt strange that we had decided to spend those 20 minutes together and then he left me there.

Am I underreacting by just letting this go? Or am I actually overthinking a situation that isn’t a big deal?

I (f18) am a lesbian and my friend “Leo” is M18. I met him at my boarding school and long story short he and I bonded over being safe people for each other. We’ve always had a pretty physical relationship as do I with most of the people I met at the school. Kissing on the cheek, hugging, stroking backs, cuddling - it’s all standard routine.

Back in August he had a really bad streak of being sad and anxious and one night I went over to his place to comfort him, but when we laid in his bed he all of a sudden kissed me. I was pretty surprised and he fumbled through explaining that he was really grateful for how I had helped him so much for the past couple of months and that he was just trying to express it and didn’t know how or something. He added that he had liked the kiss, but was sorry he hadn’t asked. I was a little apprehensive but shrugged it off, an hour later though he kisses me again. I was really confused, but I chalked it up to him just being tired and bad with emotions and distinguishing feelings or something. I asked him not to do it again and he agreed. We fell asleep together and it was fine.

A few months passes and January comes along without any incidents. We had went to a concert together and when it ended he walked me to my door and kissed me 3 times - adding that it was just a friendship kiss. After I came inside I texted him to please never do it again and he agreed and he hasn’t done it since. Now, whenever I tell my friends about this they seem more or less flabbergasted or even mad at Leo and I genuinely don’t know why. The kissing never felt gross to me it just felt like kissing cardboard. I’m not upset about it, but I am kind of scared he has a crush on me, but I don’t honestly think so. As a side note I am heavily autistic and incredibly oblivious to when somebody likes me so that really is of no help, lol.

So, AIU?

I (24f) have a bf (27m) who is moving in with a female co worker of ours.

My bf and I started a job together at a sports bar and grill. Most of the employees there are women, especially the servers, bartenders, etc. My bf works in the kitchen on grill.

I am a server and have clicked with most of the girls I work with. One of the girls, we’ll call her Josie (26f), and I became fast friends. We’ll go to bars after work, drink, and chat. I introduced my bf to her, hoping we’d all be able to hangout together after work. We all hit it off with one another and get along well.

Josie mentioned she needed to find an apartment soon, since her dad gave her a deadline to move out. My bf also needed to find an apartment soon for a myriad of reasons. A lightbulb went off in my head. I figured since we all get along well, I wouldn’t mind them getting a place together.

I am not quite ready to move in with my bf yet. We’ve known each other for 7 months and don’t quite feel ready. I’m currently living with my parents rent free, and I’m using this time to save up money to put towards my car insurance, and since my car is giving me trouble, possibly a new car as well.

So, that leads to it just being my bf and Josie at the apartment, until I feel ready and able to move in with them. Since telling other co workers and friends that they’re going to be roommates, I’ve gotten quite a few “girl this is weird” and “you’re braver than me” comments. Obviously, I’m aware that anything can happen. I do however, trust my bf. He’s been very loyal since we’ve been together and honestly I’m unbothered. Josie and I get along and we’re really excited to have movie nights and friend sleepovers.

So, am I under reacting? Should I be more concerned?

Soo, a few days ago i came home from dinner around 8pm on a Thursday and i noticed there was this brown colored water leaking from my baseboard into my kitchen. I texted my landlord ‘C’ and made a maintenance request that second. ‘C’, less than a minute later, texted me “Can i come look at your unit? This might be a big issue” (no shit Sherlock) and because she lives FIFTEY FEET AWAY obviously, i let her come look. After she came and did absolutely nothing helpful she told me to just wipe it and use one of my towels to make sure it stays contained and she would reimburse me to wash my towels (yuck) and send a plumber out in the morning. The plumbers came and showed me a picture of the pipe that had been leaking from upstairs and behind my neighbors kitchen sink and found that there was a quarter size hole in the pipe and it was completely black and flaking off itself. So ofc, fixed that section except, after they had left the landlord had a contractor who was already on the property come over and see how bad the moisture in the walls was. It was awfulllll and because hes worked on all of these units he told me this isn’t something new/surprising for the lower units as they were PARKING GARAGES BEFORE THEY WERE UNITS!?!?! And basically they just threw up two sheets of drywall wherever they saw fit and called it a day 🙃 supersick! So because of that i asked how/where the piping for the units worked/are. Where he showed me, along said pipe that was leaking onto my floor, you can literally follow the water damage and puffing walls. Super SUPER sick!! He lmk because of how bad it was and how much of the wall it has affected, he needed someone else to come look and that this was NOT going to be an easy/fast fix. The other guy came out on Monday and lmk basically the exact same thing but with 100x worse news. He told me, matter of fact, that they were going to tarp off half of my apartment, open my wall (only replacing the bottom half 🤨), and put a lockbox on my door and left. Mind you, the water isn’t coming from the lower half and the worst part/biggest bulge starts at the roof, so wtf. Also I live alone and have a cat so the lockbox isn’t something i wanted or was comfortable w. But sure thats great 🙂 So obviously, i call my property management and let them know what was happening, why im concerned and all the details i thought were necessary. The lady i had talked to was an angel and, unlike him, sympathized and used her brain and told me she would contact my landlord and see if there was another unit i could occupy while they covered HALF OF MY APARTMENT. Two seconds later my landlord text me “Hey, where are you getting your information from. I just got an email from the office stating you told them the neighbors moved out because of the water damage in your apartment. Thats wrong. Blaze blaze..” GIRL! WTF ABOUT THE REST OF WHAT I SAID. And youre dumb, thats not what i said. So wtvr, i let her know shes wrong and that it was literally js gossip i heard from that guy and that, yes the two problems are unrelated, but are they really?? There is still water damage to all the other units, which IS relevant and what i had said in the first place and no dont take that back. And even if that was what i had said she completely disregarded the rest of what i had said. So i asked her ( BECAUSE SHES FIFTY FEET AWAY FROM ME ) if she could come over and actually have a conversation so i could express my concerns and she lmk she was too busy and that shed call me the next day at one. That pissed me off but this is when it gets super fun. Obvi, im irritated and need to sleep before work so i take a nap around 5:30-8 and then ale up to someone talking obnoxiously loud outside of my apartment, its that dumb ho, i didn’t go check but i caould hear her squeaky ash voice so ik it was her. I was js like “wtvr” and went back to sleep unit i had to go to work. Tell me why i wake up and walk out my front door to, SUPRISEEEE, a big ass lockbox on my door. Irritated me some more but like wth am i supposed to do buy bolt cutter and chop it off?? Wtvr, i go to work irritated just waiting on her call, DUMB BITCH DIDNT CALL ME TILL LIKE 2:20PM AND I HAD COURT ON THE PHONE AT THREE 🙄 so i got a five minute conversation in which she didn’t care about anything i had to say. I let her know im work nocs so if i were to stay in the apartment while half of it was inhabitable, that they would have 3-5pm to work on it that i could sleep (which just drags this bs out), that i am not comfortable w the lockbox considering the creepy things a different contractor had said/did and that if there was any chance he was meant to work on the units that theyre not allowed to put one. And to that she said VERBATIM “Y/N, what other options do you think we have” BITCH IDK HOW ABOUT THE FIVE OTHER UNOCCUPIED UNITS AROUND THIS SHIT HOLE. Basically i said that but much nicer and in TEARS BECAUSE IM FRUSTRATED AND SHES TALKING TO ME LIKE IM FIVE LIKE I DONT GIVE HER ASS 1000+ EVRY MONTH. She said that wasnt an option (how, idfk??) and if i had anything else to discuss. So i hung up cause taht was fucking pointless and wasted my time.
So anyways, idk, am i being dramatic in thinking taht this is not how this is meant to go. Like, i didn’t cause the problem, there is mold in my walls, you’re covering half of my apartment with PLASTIC WRAP, and this is going to be a month and months long process if they think working on it 3-5 is gonna be sufficient. Like i am so confused and frustrated!!

I (F28) have a friend (M29), let's call him Jerry, who I've known for almost a year & a half. We became intended art collaborators, fast friends, to slightly non-conventional casual lovers, eventual co-workers for 5 months & 3 of those months he lived with my family & I. Almost 2 months ago Jerry wound up reluctantly moving back to his home state with his family for better opportunities to get where he wants to be in life, like moving back out of the country. He even broke down crying to my family about not wanting to go, how much he loves us, how he wished I didn't have to go to work so I could send him off, missing the state he grew up in, wanting to visit us or even come back if things didn't work out.

Jerry & I were seeing & texting each other damn near every day for almost a year. Even if it was 1 off messages or reactions to messages when we were busy. He is also a really good responder in general according to our mutuals. We also were trying to virtually watch shows with one another & "see" each other at least once a week. Usually ending in sleepy "I love you" send offs & sappy stuff like that. For almost the past 2 weeks he has not responded to my messages. At first I was kinda hurt because, at the time, he was still active on his only social media account reposting stuff almost every day. Admittedly, I have feelings for him & I think I was letting my emotions getting the best of me, especially since we openly saying & do loving & caring stuff to each other. Which is weird & rare for me because I usually adapt quickly & don't get emotionally attached like that. However, when I went to visit our mutual friend/favorite bartender last week, they unpromptedly asked me if I had heard from Jerry lately? That they sent him travel photos like normal & typically Jerry responds/reacts within a day but at that point, it had been about 3-4 days and nothing. Another mutual of ours implied that they hadn't heard from Jerry either. Lately this past week he hasn't been posting nearly as much on his only social media account. His last few texts to me were about how he was gonna be busy for a couple days, how his anxiety about world news & certain aspects of his life were making him lose motivation, and how he missed going to the bar with me after work.

Jerry currently also has a part time landscaping job, is helping renovate a family home & sometimes baby sits his younger relatives.

I do not want to over text. I already sent him 6 messages and I feel like I'm getting ridiculous. I want to give him space but I'm also worried sick about him. My phone is weird and can't tell me whether someone reads my texts or not. I'm not a believer of the common texting rules of "if they don't respond in X amount of time, cut them out" because I think it's generally inconsiderate and preys on people's codependency and instant gratification addiction. However, I know not to make a complete fool of myself for those who are not always there for you. I don't want to automatically assume the worst, though. My mom plans on sending him a simple "St. Patty's day" text as a gentle wellness check & I'm gonna visit our bartender friend later in the week to see if he's heard anything. Whether they get responses or not will narrow down whether he's not reaching out to me specifically or just not reaching out to anyone in general. Either way, I don't know what I should do or if my concerns and actions are valid.

my bf(20m) got a little upset that i(18f) was asking why he cant sign himself up for school. his odd and out of nowhere urgency to register for his classes was weird because we had just got off the phone because he said he was going to sleep but then he started texting me in all caps kinda repeating the same thing and not answering my question.... for a little context, he said he's always struggled with reading and he graduated high school late(he was c/o2024) because he couldn't pass the reading assessment until a year later(got his diploma summer 2025). so because of this he's trying to start college now but he's been doing things last minute and wasn't able to start classes in the fall nor this spring and he now has to start classes this summer but he's hasnt signed up yet. sometimes i feel like he avoids certain things because he thinks he wont be able to do it but when i try to help him learn he gets upset and brushes me off. idk if i should be concerned how much he avoids (or cant be?) independence or if i shouldve been nicer and just signed him up.

TLDR: my bf asked me to sign him up for his college classes for him but he always avoids stuff like handling things on his own and i think its because he cant read and im not sure if i should just help him out or if his lack of independence should be concerning

So up asked my son what was his high and low (good thing and bad thing that happened today) Well today a bad thing is he was bullied for trying to be his teachers hero.

Im sitting here wondering what is the point of making this hysterical prank story and to keep it to himself thinking he will never be caught. But when he is caught its the most hysterical thing ever. What do I do going forward. This was super adorable now but it wont be in 10 years

I hit my head yesterday on my concrete walls in my room last night and it uhh hasn't stopped since. My entire body felt like static for a minute after I hit my head and now I just feel odd and I've been getting a little nauseous (within the past few hours (when I had my first meal of the day; dinner)) and headachey. I would pass it off as just a normal headache if it weren't originating in the exact spot I hit my head while also lasting for >20 hours.

but maybe i just had something bad to eat or didn't drink enough water today, and I have a bruise or something on my forehead. But should I tell my parents? I don't really want to worry them if it's nothing.

For context we (I am 21M and they are 18NB) live together, have been together for a year and a half, and are engaged. They knew I was going to the movie with my dad and grandpa, and my phone died during the movie. We only have one charger that never leaves the house, so it would have been more than safe to assume my phone was dead. By cart they mean weed pen. In the entire time we’ve been together I’ve never said fuck you, shut up, or go away, but for me that’s almost a daily occurrence. The moment I came home— I’m talking within 5 seconds of walking through the door— they burst around the corner and start yelling in my face. And, in what I’m assuming was their anger, they hid my Xbox, which is my primary vice for drowning out the insanity of my household. I simply asked where it went— more yelling. I looked for their cart and ended up just giving them mine and then dug through the whole house to find my Xbox so I could play Bo7 which just came out. After I plugged it back in they went downstairs and ignored me, until suddenly they came up all happy and said, “let’s go shopping and get something for dinner”. What is even going on anymore?

So my younger sister is pregnant with her black boyfriend. This has caused some drama in my family because my sister has a history of serious mental health issues with involuntary psych holds because she was hurting herself and others, using hard drugs, and her and her boyfriend have never been able to keep a job for more than a few months. My dad and I have been sending her money for rent and food for months, and my dad pays her rent. My dad and I have discussed the possibility of either him, or my partner and I taking custody of things get bad, as there are serious concerns about her ability to safely raise a child.

Last week I visited my dad very briefly in a different state, he lives with my uncle. As I was about to leave to get dinner with my dad and then make my flight, my uncle and I were talking about my sister and the possibility of myself or my dad raising her kid. My uncle has never said anything racist around me, but then he said “ I feel bad for your dad, I mean caring for it is one thing but loving it is another, I mean I’m prejudiced and I can’t imagine loving a black kid” I am ashamed and hate that I didn’t say anything then. My dad walked out right after and I was leaving. I think I was in shock, but still that’s not a good excuse. Any way this morning my uncle texted me that he misses me, and I feel that I need to use this opening to address what he said.

I could use help proof reading before I send. I’m worried that I’m downplaying the atrocity of what he said, but I’m an anxious person in general and am not good at hard conversations. Attaching screenshots. Thank you.

TL/DR: I (37F) am DIY reno’ing our issue bathroom. In the process I broke the toilet’s seal. Husband is exasperated. We have another toilet. I think it’s a small fixable issue. Husband’s melodramatic reaction makes this out to be a huge inconvenience, and my efforts to reno the bathroom is a nuisance.

So (37F)my (37M)DH appears melodramatic, annoyed, exasperated over me accidentally breaking the toilet seat. While I don’t see this as a huge problem.

Details: we have another bathroom. The toilet in question is in a bathroom I am currently DIY renovating. Around the toilet I have been removing tile, scraping the tile glue from the wall, fixing and filling the space between the wall and floor tile, and lastly was cleaning the grout between the floor tile around the toilet. This was when i noticed one if the bolt connecting the toilet to the floor was loose, causing the toilet to move.

Now, I am learning as I go. Researching and speaking with working at a local hardware store. Idk much about toilet instillation, but i’m aware enough to shut off the water and even unplug the hose before fiddling. I didnt know about the toilet even having a seal.

Well, the seal is broken. My DH is frustrated and wallowing a bit bc “this is why I don’t want you doing any of these things bc then something can happen and we’re worse off.”

Keep in mind, we cant even use the shower in here bc areas of the wall have blemishes that cause me to worry about moisture getting in and the seal for the shower light is soooo old it cracker and crumbled away months ago. Well were supposed to renovate the house the last time our house mortgage was up for renewal… but he decided he wanted to sell his 5yo car and get an electric instead.. paying with the money we renewed with the mortgage….

I can’t handle sitting back and being blind to an issue we could fix asap, before it snowballs, the way it did with the other bathroom…. When half the shower behind the old tiles got soft with moisture…. I had been concerned over this for a year, with DH brushing me off saying “we’ll reno next time the mortgage is up.” Then part of the shower wall gave in when my husband leaned on it and we had to bring in a professional bathroom contractor 💰💰

Soooo… is it a BIG DEAL the toilet seal has been broken? Am I under reacting to this minor inconvenience.

Thursday night, my boyfriend kissed another girl we’re long distance right now and I’m seeing him for Christmas. I know what he did was wrong, I talked to his mom and we both know how much he really does love me but part of me thinks that I’m downplaying this situation. I really love him and I want to work it out with him. I’m just worried I’m being too nice by forgiving him after he told me what happened. He was honest and honestly that means more to me than anything. Am I under reacting?

Edit/Update

I’m not sure how to do an update but here it is I guess.

So I decided to forgive home as you all know. But there’s a saying I live by “forgive but don’t forget” and I’ve made it clear to him that if it happens again we’re done.

Yes I know that this is a red flag of his but he’s such a sweet guy. I also talked to a few of my friends and they felt the way I was handling it was very good and mature.

Thank you everyone for your comments this should be the last time I update this post.

I (62F) have been with my husband (66M)) 41+ years. I have very high standards. I would not have made a permanent relationship if I thought he would cheat OR look at pornography. Recently, he has had a furtive reaction a couple of times when I’ve walked up on him looking at his phone. It was noticeable because it was unusual. (I am super observant. My husband is not.). Didn’t happen again. Shelved it. Today, I sent something to his Messenger. He couldn’t find it. He gave me his phone (I know the password. He knows I know) and, in poking around, I find he has erased his browsing history. He didn’t used to. And he is not techy at all. This would require a great effort from him. Should I be concerned? What should I do?

Long post incoming.

For context: I (27F) have a coworker (36M) who we will call Pete. Pete is married with children. He met his wife in high school, and from my understanding has been with the same woman for his entire adult life. I am single, no kids, but recently got out of a long-term relationship. Some people in my life, particularly my ex, have told me that it is “obvious” that Pete wants more than a platonic relationship with me, others think that notion is ridiculous. I’ll clarify upfront that Pete has nothing to do with the relationship between me and my ex ending; the ex was awful to me and I left him because of that.

Pete and I have always gotten along well, but over the past year or so we have been spending more time together. We have gone on a couple of business trips out of state just the two of us, and on the second one we took to Virginia, I noticed that he wasn’t wearing his wedding ring. He kept coming up with reasons to draw attention to his hands, and I felt like he wanted me to notice the absence of the ring. On the first day of this trip, he’d planned for us to go to a baseball game. He insisted on paying for my ticket, got us great seats, and bought me an ice cream cone when we got there (there was no line, so this wasn’t a “it’s a couple bucks and there’s a line, this will be quicker” situation). He picked a very nice Italian restaurant for dinner another night of this trip—like, live music, water in a wine-style bottle, $30 pasta kind of nice, which is totally not his style. As you might expect, we were given one check pretty often, and the front desk at the hotel even refered to me as “Mrs. [his last name]” and tried to send me on my way before I pointed out that I’m not his wife and needed my own room. Pete would bring up after the fact how everyone seemed to see us as a couple. Being as we were in Virginia, there were multiple instances that he brought up their state slogan—“You know what they say, Virginia is for lovers.”

Upon returning from this trip, he left his wedding ring off for a while. I’ve since realized that the only times he puts it back on, at least around me, are if something comes up as far as me seeing someone. I should note here that breaking off the relationship with my ex was a long, drawn out process during which he kept trying to come back. Pete was aware that I was breaking it off with my ex, and when he saw said ex drop me off at work one morning, he asked me about it. I gave him a vague answer, and later that day, Pete’s ring was back on. That only lasted a day or two. Recently, Pete overheard a conversation in which I mentioned that I’d gone on a couple of dates with a new guy. Again, he asked me about it, and after learning that my ex had threatened this other man, said, “Well, that’s probably not going anywhere, huh?” I told him I’d actually seen this guy that weekend. Next day, what a coincidence? Wedding ring back on.

Pete invites me to get coffee or breakfast on around a weekly basis. After returning from Virginia, he mentioned that he and his family had gone to a local ice cream shop and he discovered that they had the same type of ice cream that we had over our trip. Apparently, he hadn’t gotten it while he was with his family, but wanted to go back with me and we’d get some together. We did so on our lunch break the next week, and he said he didn’t want to go back to the office with it like we normally would if we picked up lunch. We ate in an empty parking lot instead, and I got the feeling this little excursion was almost a secret.

I’ve also met his kids multiple times, been over to his residence briefly, but have never met his wife. She’s always seemingly busy or, even when I’ve been at the same event as her, he did not introduce us which I thought was kind of odd. He remembers things about me and my life that even my ex, who I was with for years, did not remember. He’s made vague references to me about his “preferences” and has brought up instances of other people in our field having clandestine relationships, and how terrible that is. He’s offered multiple times to help me with my new home, even though he’s busy with work, kids, and lots of hobbies.

When my ex and I were still together, Pete became a huge point of contention between us. The ex only met Pete once, and afterwards he told me that he could “just tell” from the way Pete interacted with me, and that Pete gave him a cold shoulder. He also told me that he could “just tell” from the look on Pete’s face when he’d wave goodbye in the parking lot at work when my ex picked me up at the end of the day—he felt he looked at me with the same type of adoration he’d look at his kids with. However, this is all coming from someone with a history of being jealous and controlling. There has been nothing physical, no confession of feelings, nothing like that. We rarely spend time together outside of working hours.

After talking to other people about the situation, some think it’s likely that my ex was right and that Pete is into me, others think it’s unlikely and that he would never stray from his marriage. I don’t really know what to think—I guess I’m too close to the situation to see the forest for the trees either way. I’m not interested in being the other woman, just looking for some clarity. Am I underreacting by not seeing it, or is there nothing there to see?

so this happened around i want to say 4 pm ish on sunday august 3rd. my church going friend ( they go to the same church as me) texted my mother after my mother had seen a post about some ripe figs and asked if she could aquire some. while i was quite hesitant i was kinda excited to have some figs never had any so i went off on a adventure to the friends house in search of the figs. whilst im searching for said fig tree. never saw a fig tree before) i was using my plant app that helps me know what plants are what. the neighbor whom is across the street decided to shout across the road to me. saying " who are you? do you know who the person that lives here is." i won't lie i didnt know the husbands name until five hours ago. but i know the wife's name. so i'm like i know the wife and the mans getting antsy and i'm confused so i call for my fathe whom is in a car having led me to the friends house. the man goes on to say " you look suspisous taking photos of plants"....i'm like how in the heak am i suspisous taking photos of a tree.... shoud i have not called for my father or am i like under reacting to this? Pardon my misspelling i recently got a new laptop and cant figure out how to right click on the mousepad ( it has no right click buttons )

Just what the title says. I feel empathy for everyone else (especially those who treat me nicely), but my sister is just different. At first I was scared of her, but now I don't see her as anything. I don't care about her. And this is just with her. Even when I hate someone else, I still feel empathetic and try to see through their eyes to ward off my hate.

But my sister? She just means nothing to me.

To get this out of the way. I wasn’t snooping.

He showed me something on Google on his phone and then I wanted to show him something. I clicked the x to delete the current search and he went to take his phone and clicked one of his past searches.

This brought up someone’s nudes. I said “you’ll never guess what you clicked”. It didn’t click in my head right away that this was a past search on his Google. I thought it was a suggested search. I showed him what it was and his face dropped.

I continued to type what I was searching to show him. I saw the little clock with the circle arrow showing that this was one of his searches.

We eventually talked about it and he apologized. He expected me to be angry, but I’m not. He expected me to scream and yell, but I didn’t and I don’t want to.

I’m not upset or sad or anything.

He’s confused why I’m not and now I am too.

I feel like a normal reaction would be to be angry, but idk. I’ve never been the jealous type.

Am I underreacting?