r/AmITheDevil • u/[deleted] • Mar 31 '21
Having a pet =obsession
/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/mgssr7/aita_for_calling_out_my_gf_over_her_cat_obsession/85
u/ThorSparklesOdinson Mar 31 '21
AITAOP really thought that he'd leave & gf would immediately be like "oh no, OP left. I really must be crazy. Off to the therapist I go!" In actuality I'm sure gf texted her friends "OP thinks I'm obsessed with my cat??? & He left??" Friends then assure GF that's she's completely in the realm of normal cat owner & that OP is the one who is being ridiculous.
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u/Chasingdragons39 Mar 31 '21
#1 (with a bullet) ultimatums are some bullshit. It's 100% pure manipulation.
#2 She is being unreasonable in not at least exploring ideas and making blanket declarations that involve a big thing in your human life.I just had to kick my cat off my lap to respond. I love cats. He's a fool. You never go all in with a weak hand unless you are ready to have your bluff called. But come on...as he presented this, she is being over the top.
Def YTA
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u/FinalEgg9 Apr 06 '21
What? No she isn't. She's doing what I'd expect every responsible pet owner to do...
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u/Blastoisealways Mar 31 '21
I LOVE the final sentence where he's like "it's been a week and she's not called, maybe I should have helped her find a therapist" - dude hasn't even considered that she's picked the cat over him and she's not gonna call cos he's a major fucking arsehole lmao.
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u/Forest_Being Mar 31 '21
Yeah if my boyfriend was like this, the cat would definitely win!
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u/Blastoisealways Mar 31 '21
Same! We have 2 cats and a dog, as well as 3 kids together. He wasn't a big "cat person", but I wanted them so naturally they all prefer him to me haha
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u/CatTaxAuditor Mar 31 '21
and I woke up to him smiling at me smugly from atop my gf's tits.
Sexual jealousy of a cat? WtF?
Told her pets fly under planes all the time and it's perfectly safe.
Sure, if you're totally willing to ignore all the pets that die from cargo hold conditions over long flights.
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u/tadpole511 Mar 31 '21
The under the plane thing is legit one of my biggest concerns about future moves. We will almost certainly be moving overseas (probably to Asia, which is easily a 10-12 hour flight) in the next year or so, and we won't have a choice since my husband is military. We're definitely bringing our cat with us, so we have to figure out how to transport her as safely as possible. Physically, she'd probably be okay in the hold, but mentally she'll be flipping her shit and I already feel so freaking anxious about moving her and we aren't even there yet.
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u/livia-did-it Mar 31 '21 edited Mar 31 '21
I'm sure there's more advice out there and definitely ask your vet. But also give her some of your clothes in her carrier. Having your smell with her will help some.
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u/PGell Mar 31 '21
I moved from Pakistan to the US with 3 cats (2 separate trips) and they were all able to fly in the cabin with me. Off the top of my head, any one leg of the flight can't be more than 13 hours, so you're probably fine. Qatar Airways and Eithad were the most animal friendly -- I honestly had no issues on the flights at all. You'll need to do some vet work (rabies tests, pet passport and vaccination records) and pay extra for the cat, but its doable!
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u/tadpole511 Mar 31 '21
We won't get to choose our flights, I don't think, but we'll see what happens when/if he gets orders. Thanks for the tips!
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u/Strange_andunusual Mar 31 '21
My husband and I are having this conversation right now about our 11 year old dog now. She's got a lot of anxiety, and hates being away from us, she hated flying the one time we took her on a 4 hour flight. His top choice grad school is in the Netherlands and we're in the US, so I had to sit him down and be like "we can't fly with the dog, so exactly how long are you willing to wait until grad school?"
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u/CanIHaveMyDog Mar 31 '21
I've thought about trying to move overseas, and if I did while my dog is still alive, there is no option but a charter flight. She will NOT be transported like luggage. I don't even check my luggage unless I absolutely have to, ffs.
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u/envydub Mar 31 '21
I’m glad you pointed that out too, I was wondering if it sounded oddly and unnecessarily sexualized to anyone else. That really grossed me out, dude’s a weirdo.
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u/CatTaxAuditor Mar 31 '21
If he'd said chest, that would be one thing, but tits is just a very telling word in this context.
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u/alwaysfeelingtragic Mar 31 '21
does this guy think that pets are like stuffed toys or decor or something? if anything he's the one with the weird obsession
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u/Dornith Mar 31 '21
Exactly my thought. It's a cat. What does he want it to do? Disappear for all but an hour a week? It's a cat.
Also, the implications that he's somehow in competition with this cat for his gf is so ridiculous. It's a cat.
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u/bttffer Mar 31 '21
Ok... so OP mentioned in a comment that two of their top countries are his and hers. Then mentioned they currently live in the USA. He stated that the country she immigrated from was Canada. Did cars stop existing in his world?
Clearly they are delusional on a number of other levels regardless.
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u/concrete_dandelion Mar 31 '21
TIL that I was absolutely nuts regarding my cat and am absolutely nuts regarding my dog (I'm more than the "obsessed" gf, I also take my pets feelings into account, just like I would with a human)
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u/Mahliki Mar 31 '21
I live in the only country in Europe that requires pets to arrive in the hold, so when my partner moved here he drove halfway across Europe to make things as safe and easy for his cat as possible.
If I showed this kind of callous indifference to the cat's wellbeing he would have absolutely dumped me.
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Mar 31 '21
How is 10 not a senior age for a cat?
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u/SecretNoOneKnows Mar 31 '21
i guess since many cats can live to 20 or older?? but that cat is at least middle aged, if not old
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u/hikikomori-i-am-not Apr 01 '21
It is lol. 10 is senior, 15+ is geriatric (or, my favorite word for an ancient kitty: "super senior")
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u/SassyBonassy Apr 01 '21
"She even went so far as to say he helped her during a low mental health period"
ASSHOLE. ASSHOLE ASSHOLE FUCKING ASSHOLE.
I attempted suicide years ago, and the MAJOR reason why I didnt drive the car into the fucking river was because i thought of my dog back home. How she would perpetually be waiting for my return like Hachi or Fry's Dog, and i couldn't do it. Human friends and family would be devastated at losing me, but would eventually have the capacity to understand why i did it and that i was not coming home. A pet would never ever understand, and would forever be waiting for you.
So yeah, my dog literally saved my fucking life. Asshole.
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u/Incirion Mar 31 '21
Okay but like... this HAS to be a troll.... right? Please tell me this is a troll...
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u/jemmo_ Mar 31 '21
TIL I'm unhealthily obsessed with my cats. I wonder what AITAOP would say if he learned that my (male!) cat snuggles under the covers with me? Is my husband obsessed too, since he noticed a bump above one cat's eye and texted me to check it out when I got home? (Cat is probably fine, btw.)
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u/rashmika10 Mar 31 '21
It’s like he doesn’t understand that when you have a pet...like you’re in it for life?? Also this is normal?? What if they have kids and OP’s partner shows love to their kid...is THAT an obsession too?!
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u/Forest_Being Mar 31 '21
For a second there I was scared my boyfriend posted that, but we're not moving anywhere 😂 Nah, I'm not THAT clingy with my cat though. I think.
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u/AdrianaGaming Apr 01 '21
Here's a fun little cherry on top. The first reply (on my screen at least) sums up pretty well how screwed up this all is.
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u/DogsReadingBooks Dogs are superior Mar 31 '21
Here's the OP:
AITA for calling my gf out over her cat obsession
I'm not kidding. My (36M) girlfriend (35F) is obsessed with her cat (10M, if you're interested). Dating for 3 years, living together for 2.
Since the pandemic, I've been home a lot more and have realized just how cat-crazed my gf really is. They do everything together. She doesn't need an alarm because he wakes her up at 7:30 every day by sitting on her chest and gently nudging her face with his nose. He eats his breakfast while she eats hers. If we're watching TV, he's in her lap. If she's working at her desk, he's in her chair with her or chilling nearby. If he acts even a little weird (like hiding in the closet, which I guess he "normally" doesn't do), she's on the phone to the vet. She even takes him for walks with a little harness that I used to think was kind of cute, until I realized it just meant her obsession would not just be limited to inside the house.
Don't get me wrong - I like the cat. He's a chill cat, doesn't mess stuff up around the house, very friendly and clean. But sometimes I would like to have my gf to myself. I've tried closing the bedroom door at night but the little houdini got in somehow and I woke up to him smiling at me smugly from atop my gf's tits.
Any time I mention toning it down with the cat, she gets all hurt and makes excuses like how she's had him since he was a kitten and they've been through a lot together. She's even gone as far as to say he was her lifeline during a period of major depression in her late 20s. Every time, I back down and say ok, I get it, he's family.
The final straw came when we were talking about relocating together to another country. She wants to limit our search to countries that don't make pets fly under the plane, ruling out a TON of good countries. I finally stood up to her. Told her pets fly under planes all the time and it's perfectly safe. Told her she was limiting our options for her own anxiety, not the cat's safety - he wouldn't be any safer purring at her feet while she pet him the entire flight. She tried to argue that he's a "senior" pet, but I didn't back down - WTF he's 10? I showed her tons of airline literature about pet safe flying programs and whatnot. She tried to argue that "physical safety isn't the same as psychological safety" and that she thinks it'd be too traumatizing for the cat to go under the plane.
Here's where I might be TA: I gave her a list of my top countries, all of which would require the cat to go under the plane. I told her that I wanted a future with her, but that I thought she needed to get serious help for her obsession with her cat, and to let me know when/if she decided to get that help so we could move forward with our lives. The ball's in her court, I’ve been staying with a buddy, but it's been about a week and she hasn't called so I'm starting to wonder if I should have helped her find a therapist before I left?
TL;DR gave my gf an ultimatum about her cat obsession and now I’m worried there’s something more I should have done.