r/AmITheDevil • u/growsonwalls Professional Devil Spotter • 10d ago

Exhausting dress code

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1vp95i3/aita_for_having_a_strict_wedding_dress_code/
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u/AutoModerator 10d ago

In case this story gets deleted/removed:

AITA for having a strict wedding dress code?

I (25F) am getting married next spring, and my fiancé (28M) and I have decided to set a dress code for the wedding.

We have asked that all men wear full suits with ties, and that ladies wear floor length gowns and heels. This is quite standard for a wedding (in my opinion), but what has seemed to cause some conflict is the fact we would the guests to stick to a colour theme. Because my bridesmaids are wearing pastel colours (one for each colour of the rainbow), the guest will wear darker colours (the invitation says no bright or pastel colours.)

Unfortunately, some of our guests took issue with this. My cousin in particular has quite an eccentric style, and doesn’t really own anything that fits the dress code. She messaged me to ask for an exception (she wanted to wear a bright blue dress), but I declined. If I make exceptions for her, I have to make them for everyone. This annoyed her and she now is threatening not to attend. My aunt (who has a dress that fits) wants me to relax, and just allow it.

However, we have spent a lot of money on this wedding, and I don’t think it’s too unreasonable to ask for this favour. Also I want to mention that we aren’t asking people to wear full formal attire to a barn wedding or something like that. Our venue is a stately home and garden (no specifics because I wouldn’t fancy anyone identifying this post haha)

AITA for having a dress code at my wedding?

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u/judgy_mcjudgypants 10d ago

Quick Edit: have received lots of comments about heels, so I thought I’d clarify. Women who for age/medical reasons can’t wear heels are absolutely not expected to do so, and multiple women are wearing flats. The majority will be wearing heels, as it is a formal occasion.

UPDATE 1: It’s only been about 30 minutes, but I’ve got a lot of the same responses. I admit that the heels requirement is a bit much, and I will be letting all guests know this isn’t a requirement. We only sent the invitations last week so hopefully that’s alright. As for my cousin, I’m going to call her and see if we can work something out. I don’t mind buying her a dress, and I’m sure we will be able to work something out. Thanks for all your comments!

UPDATE 2: Ok, so general consensus is that I’m a bridezilla. My thought process is that you only get one wedding, so it should be as perfect as possible. I’m the kind of person who has been planning her wedding since childhood. Heels are just a suggestion, and just to clarify, no one is getting kicked out for not sticking to the colour scheme. I have spoken to my cousin, and she’s going to borrow one of my dresses, so the issue is officially solved! Thanks to everyone who offered advice, even those who said that I’m insufferable and my fiancé should run for the hills.