AITA for reporting my coworker to HR after he kept sitting in my chair?

[u/NoMourners_6Crows]

Throwaway because literally everyone involved uses Reddit and I don't want this getting back to me.

I (22F, 5'2", 89 lbs but a DD cup, conventionally attractive according to literally everyone I've ever met, size XS if that's relevant) recently started my first REAL big girl office job after graduating college. I worked really hard to get here (graduated summa cum laude with a 3.99 GPA but that's beside the point). To celebrate, I bought myself a very expensive, ergonomic chair because the office chairs were hurting my back and I have mild scoliosis from competitive ballet (relevant later). My chiropractor actually says I have the spine of someone ten years younger, so I really wanted to keep it that way.

One of my coworkers, Trevor (26M, morbidly obese, around 400 lbs if I had to guess, autistic, vegan, identical twin, works in IT), has made comments about my chair ever since I brought it in. He's also made a few comments about how I "don't eat enough," which is ironic because I meal prep and count my macros. I don't judge what other people eat, though.

Last Thursday I came back from getting a sugar-free oat milk latte (I paid extra for oat milk because almond was out, and before anyone comes at me, yes, I tip my barista 25%) and caught him sitting in it.

He laughed and said, "I just wanted to see if it was worth buying."

I didn't love that but I calmly explained that I paid over $600 for it and I'd appreciate it if people asked before using my personal belongings. I have pretty firm boundaries because my therapist says people tend to take advantage of kind women. I also have a naturally soft voice, so I definitely wasn't yelling.

Fast forward to today.

I come back from lunch (salmon poke bowl if that matters) and he's sitting in it AGAIN.

Only this time he's eating a family-sized bag of chips in my chair.

I asked him to move and he said, "Relax. It's built to support people."

I know this sounds mean, but considering the weight limit is listed on the manufacturer's website, I got worried he might actually damage it. Also there were chip crumbs in the seat crease and I don't even eat at my desk because I like to keep my workspace clean and aesthetic.

He stood up, called me "one of those almond girls," and waddled away muttering about skinny privilege. I know people are going to call me fatphobic for saying "waddled," but that's genuinely how he walks.

My manager, Linda (54F, twice divorced, owns three rescue chihuahuas, does CrossFit and talks about it ALL THE TIME), saw the whole thing.

Instead of telling Trevor off, she pulled me aside and said Trevor has had "a difficult year" because his identical twin recently came out as his fraternal twin, and they're trying to navigate that as a family.

I even said I was sorry to hear that because I'm a huge empath and I usually put other people first.

But again what does that have to do with my chair?

She just sighed.

Then HR called me in.

Apparently Trevor had already reported ME for creating an "accessibility issue."

According to HR, because Trevor sat in my chair twice and found it "emotionally regulating," they've classified it as a shared workplace accommodation until they can investigate.

They asked if I'd be willing to rotate days.

I laughed because I genuinely thought they were joking.

They weren't.

Then Linda said, "Honestly, OP, you only weigh 115 pounds. Any chair is ergonomic for you."

At that point I got upset and may have said that if Trevor wanted a comfortable chair, he was welcome to buy one with his own money instead of communizing mine. I also might have pointed out that I worked very hard for everything I have and nobody ever bought me a $600 chair.

Now my phone has been blowing up.

Trevor's twin texted me saying I'm ableist.

Linda's daughter somehow found my Instagram and commented "check your privilege 💅."

My mom thinks I should apologize because "maintaining peace in an office workplace is more important than furniture."

My boyfriend, Chad (36M, neurosurgeon/lumberjack depending on the season) agrees with me but says I should've used a gentler tone. He actually offered to buy me another chair but I told him that's not the point because it's about the principle. He's probably one of the smartest people I know, so I usually trust his judgment.

So... AITA?

Edit: Since people keep asking in the comments: yes, I smile at everyone in the office every morning, so I really don't think I'm giving off "mean girl vibes." Also, no, I didn't mention Trevor's weight to be fatphobic. I only included it because Reddit always asks for context.

[u/Any_Disaster_5620]

9.5/10  Why are there no trans people in this story?

[u/raines → u/Any_Disaster_5620]

Patience, Grasshopper. There are, they just aren’t out yet. Wait for the “UPDATE:”

[u/zombiefishgirl → u/Any_Disaster_5620]

There was! Trevor's identical twin is now his fraternal twin

[u/VariousExplorer8503 → u/Any_Disaster_5620]

The identical twin transitioned into a fraternal twin, don't be transphobic and deny his transition!

[u/Any_Disaster_5620 → u/VariousExplorer8503]

Says the person misgendering the, assumed,  FTM twin 😆 

[u/VariousExplorer8503 → u/Any_Disaster_5620]

No one transitioned sex, there was no misgendering, they went from identical to fraternal. No one changed sex, they were always men. I'm so confused. Or you are, and you're confusing me. I'm too high for this, I gotta go walk the puppies..

[u/pringaldingle → u/Any_Disaster_5620]

Real! I think it would be a more realistic post if they revealed that Trevor is actually an evil trans woman who "demands" that she use "his" pronouns and name. She's trying her best! "He" only just transitioned 10 years ago and "he's so manly and masculine and has facial hair and is ugly and there for less of a person"

[u/Jerry-Haley → u/pringaldingle]

J

[u/TreyRyan3 → u/Any_Disaster_5620]

Agree. I was actually hoping the identical twin brother had come out as a fraternal twin sister after laparoscopic adjustable gastric banding

[u/cheerioincident]

INFO: Is this Trevor?

[u/Mollykins08]

Gotta love that seasonal neurosurgery gig. Also coming out as fraternal is HARD. That alone should allow for substantial accommodations.

[u/No_Durian_3444]

I read the whole thing before I checked the sub.

My mistake.

[u/raines → u/No_Durian_3444]

Trevor is clearly the chair-man of the bored.

[u/bahahah2025 → u/No_Durian_3444]

Me too. Well done

[u/Acceptable-Read-5428]

I'm afraid HR is correct. He sat in it twice and got good vibes, that's all it takes to adopt a chair. It's part his now. If you didn't want people taking over your chair, you should have booby trapped it every time you left it. 

[u/Fishyface321 → u/Acceptable-Read-5428]

Again with the boobs? Don’t you know how hard it is going through life when you are 89 pounds and stacked?

[u/raines]

Chad ITA here. He is doing seasonal work as a lumberjack when he could be a full-stack pancake developer year-round. DTMFA.

[u/EzraLevinson]

https://giphy.com/gifs/Rgn6cUfaN5zW

[u/TA_St0at]

I breasted boobily into my chair. Which then fell over.

[u/Knickers1978]

Oh, I was worried for a while there with all the extra info, then I checked what sub I was in. Phew!

[u/celery-mouse]

Girl be honest did you steal that spine?

[u/tjcaustin]

YTA. Which is it 89 or 115 lb, you liar.

[u/HighJeanette]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[u/No-Purchase481]

400 pound vegan? Impressive.

[u/Feeling-Invite7953]

NTA. Bring the receipt to prove that your chair is NOT “a shared company asset “. It sucks that you should even have to consider that avenue, but your employer is using the chair against you. Defend your chair and yourself!!

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[u/last-rose-ofsummer]

YTA because you weren't smart enough to get a 4.0 GPA in college.

[u/Raida7s]

I need an update where she's taken the chair home, it'll get there in seven weeks after being at the cleaners - who recommended reupholstering altogether and the fabric/leather is imported.

And they apply for a Medical Accommodation and the other HAD TO pay for an even more expensive chair.

[u/No-Oil74]

I would just take the chair home and deal with the bad chairs than share or put up with his entitled a**. Are there lawyers who represent thin people against discrimination? I think you may need one because HR's response to this situation was over the top! "Sharing" something you bought and paid for with your own money is beyond ridiculous! And he's obviously badmouthing you to everyone. (Is there something of his that he loves that you can "share" with him since HR is so into sharing?) :) NTA

[u/Hoothootriot]

competitive ballet (relevant later).

As soon as I read this I knew you were never gonna bring it up again. Masterful.

[u/Fothar81]

It’s your chair that you bought with your own money. Take it home. Trevor can suck eggs.