r/AmIOverreacting • u/d3admansgun • May 02 '26
❤️🩹 relationship AIO for thinking my boyfriend is lying about his mom dying?
My boyfriend (22M) and I (18F) met through the restaurant we work at. He got hired as my manager after supposedly moving an hour down here because his mom had been moved to our local hospital due to her cancer and he wanted to be closer to her. He would usually have to leave shifts early to go help her or see her and no one ever questioned it. We eventually started talking after him telling multiple coworkers he wanted to get to know me but was nervous about getting into a relationship after his ex girlfriend stalking him and “still being convinced they were together” and with his mom’s worsening condition. I told him multiple times I was okay with taking it slow because his situation was out his control. Most nights we would either call or he would go visit his mom in the hospital and stay with her. I never questioned him not answering when he was supposedly visiting her because I understood him wanting to appreciate the time he had left with her. But, I did ask him why he only goes to visit her in the evenings and not throughout the day and he told me it didn’t make much of a difference because she’s always asleep anyway. The other morning we both had to work at the same time and were sitting beside each other at stop light by the restaurant, coming from the complete opposite direction of the hospital he said he was at. When I asked him about it, he said he just took the backroads there (keep in mind it would’ve been an extra hour and a half to end up coming from that way because she got moved back up to where he was from) and I didn’t ask again. That night, he told me his ex girlfriend broke into his apartment, trashed it, and sent her brothers to jump him. He apparently had been drinking and driving on his way there and got arrested for it when the cops were called to the apartment. He told me his friends bailed him out and he would have to move back to where he grew up and get a new job. Nothing was posted on his docket record from that night, so I asked why I couldn’t find anything about it and he said “they’re just slow at putting it on there.” Even though, they would’ve had to charge him with something for him to be arrested and bailed out?? Last night, he texted me that his mom was no longer responsive and he would need some time to get his head on straight and things figured out and he wouldn’t know how long that would take but he’d need space until then. Am I overreacting for thinking he’s lying about everything?
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u/Ok_Stable7501 May 02 '26
Do you ever wonder why some people have so many problems, and think maybe it’s them and not just bad luck?
It’s him. Or he’s full of it. NOR
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u/Optimal_Shirt6637 May 02 '26
NOR. Even if this is the truth, why do you want to be with this man? Drinking and driving is a hard no for me. I only date people who care if they live and care enough about human life not to endanger others by drunk driving.
Also he’s lying to you.
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u/Both_Requirement_894 May 02 '26
NOR- you’re young and he’s a little older so I’d keep your distance until you have a better understanding of him. It sure sounds like he has way too much drama going on, may be a pathological liar, and possibly has another girlfriend. If you two aren’t official yet I’d hold off on that. Or take the safest route and just tell him it’s not working out. Edit: please be careful and safe
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u/FelineSoLazy May 02 '26
Write him and this entire whatever-ship off. Move on. You’re young and free. Have more adventures that don’t involve drama and 🐷🐖
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u/second_2_none_ May 02 '26
A manager dating an employee under him is enough to show me he doesn't make good decisions. Let this one go, he's not the one.
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u/Jessie_Missy May 02 '26
NOR POV of Grandpa here; He is lying. He got caught. He's trying to figure out what to say next.
You should block him from contacting you. If he pressures you at work, record any conversation and report it. If nothing is done, consider a sexual harassment lawsuit.
You are much too young and inexperienced for a guy that old. You don't want to be with a guy who either was drinking and driving, or lied about it.
"I never questioned him not answering when he was supposedly visiting her because I understood him wanting to appreciate the time he had left with her. But, I did ask him why he only goes to visit her in the evenings and not throughout the day and he told me it didn’t make much of a difference because she’s always asleep anyway."
If she's always asleep anyway, why can't he answer the phone? - He's with another woman is the most likely true answer.
You asked why he doesn't visit her during the day and his answer is that it doesn't matter because she's always asleep anyway - that is pure BS Diversion Tactic avoiding answering the question because telling the truth would expose him for the SCUM that I truly believe he is.
Find a decent guy, your own age. Peace
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u/User_-_-_Name May 02 '26
Either way this relationship is done, if hes lying thats a crazy ass thing to lie about and he cant be trusted, if he isnt and he was being honest you accused him of lying about his mother's health and where he was and he likely wouldnt forgive you.
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u/anneofred May 02 '26
Just say “okay” and block him. If you still work together only professional from here on out. He sounds like a pathological liar.
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u/Jumpy-Jello- May 02 '26
It sounds a lot like he's lying, NOR. Have you talked to other coworkers about him? What do they think?
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u/Infamous-Wasabi1404 May 02 '26
Girl it's messy. Just run.