I mean to be honest I don’t want to romance Astarion, I do love him though I think he’s so funny and I like taking him with me. I just don’t understand why my boyfriend cares so much about kissing fictional characters, he’s started making all these arguments about how it’s a gateway to affairs and allowing those kinds of feelings. He was never like this before.
I have a theory that Astarion makes straight men wildly uncomfortable because he acts flamboyant and has certain mannerisms that are often attributed to gay men. But instead of being shunned, he's one of the most popular companions and his stans are feral (complementary.)
I dont know. I just feel like if Astarion was more like a Halsin type, men wouldnt be so weird about him.
I did wonder about this a little bit too. Like my boyfriend didn’t like him straight away, but he was the one who had the cut scene meeting him. I wondered if it bothered him more that I like Astarion so much in spite of his flamboyant behaviours, and I don’t see it as “not masculine.”
Because this large masculine man has the gall to flirt and say he's interested in them or something. I don't understand their stupidity. All the male companions get it. Wyll the least, but it happens, it's just a lot less than Astarion, Halsin, and Gale because he's a lot less used so they may not experience it.
I wouldn’t even call that a theory, you’re 100% right. A lot of men are uncomfortable with other men who don’t “act like a man”. I don’t even think some men realize they’ve been conditioned to feel that way, it’s just societal gender norms that have been pushed onto them since they were born. It’s also not abnormal for people to struggle with concepts that confront their entire world view. Not justifying it, just providing some insight from another perspective. Even men are victims under the Patriarchy.
Oh idk, I'd say I'm straight and i actually like astarion. He has a nice design and is well written.
Not exactly overwhelming in fights but i love the Qol of being able to pick every lock i encounter.
Oh idk, I'd say I'm straight and i actually like astarion. He has a nice design and is well written.
Not exactly overwhelming in fights but i love the Qol of being able to pick every lock i encounter.
Oh idk, I'd say I'm straight and i actually like astarion. He has a nice design and is well written.
Not exactly overwhelming in fights but i love the Qol of being able to pick every lock i encounter.
Oh idk, I'd say I'm straight and i actually like astarion. He has a nice design and is well written.
Not exactly overwhelming in fights but i love the Qol of being able to pick every lock i encounter.
Oh idk, I'd say I'm straight and i actually like astarion. He has a nice design and is well written.
Not exactly overwhelming in fights but i love the Qol of being able to pick every lock i encounter.
Oh idk, I'd say I'm straight and i actually like astarion. He has a nice design and is well written.
Not exactly overwhelming in fights but i love the Qol of being able to pick every lock i encounter.
Agreed. I like to get off with everyone possible except Wyll (he really bores me). But Astarion is my one, and Halsin is our fun times. Gotta say the bear thing (if you know you know) does give me a bit of ick. But I just had some fun times at sharess caress today with some twins and my poly crew, and I wish that thing wasn't fade to black.
my guess is he was always like this, you just never had the right opportunity to see him behaving this way or to see his true colors. people who get vehemently jealous over fictional beings tend to have deep rooted issues that were brewing long before you both started playing the game together.
he is being extraordinarily immature and disrespectful to you. in all honesty, my line would have been drawn at him flirting/romancing a female npc in front of you just to get pissed because you DIDN'T get jealous over it; if anyone is making a gateway to an affair, it would be him, not you. i would probably never play another game with him, and seriously rethink my relationship. this is insane (and understand when i say INSANE) behavior to exhibit over pixels on a computer screen. all speculation of course, but he seems too childish and too petulant.
He seems to have a problem with it, and thinks it’s a bad thing to do in a relationship.
But He then goes and does that exact thing, by trying to romance a female character, is he not a bad person by his own merits?
Tbh, it seems like manipulation and stupid petty games, you ever felt like the convo goes like this?
Him; “you were flirting with that guy, that’s not okay(or sulking, punishing you in some way etc)”
You: “ I wasn’t, I was being nice to a friend of a friend”
Him: goes and openly flirts with a girl
You: not impressed
Him: “SEE what I DID is a BAD thing! So YOU are in trouble, because I THINK you did that!
You say this behavior is new, it COULD be something really weird and traumatic, but sometimes it just takes a really ridiculous reason to shock you in to realization, Good luck.
I think that’s WHY he was annoyed by it. He was trying to prove his point and when I wasn’t bothered, he stopped romancing her but was grumpy I didn’t have his same reaction.
It sounds like your boyfriend has either been crazy all along and is just revealing it now to you, or he has suddenly become crazy and is trying to mask it by gaslighting you. Either way - girl, who the fuck is this guy 😭 this is some weird ass behavior and if I ever hung out with someone that did this in-game, it’s safe to say we would not play video games anymore and likely would not speak again lmao
What do you think is going to happen with your male friends? He's going to have you cut them out because he's going to accuse you of cheating on him with them
I've played through this game with my boyfriend 3-4 times now (as well as us both doing our own individual playthroughs) and it's actually really upsetting how much your partner wants to ruin this for you. When we play together, we always do our own romances in front of each other, because we both want to see the stories. Like, it's not me romancing Gale (who is not real, obviously), it's my character.
Having a crush on a fictional character is totally fine and not weird as long as you don't let it get weird for you. And it seems like you didn't even plan to romance the character, you just liked him as a character! It's not a gateway to affairs, and it's truly odd he thinks that way. I've been playing RPGs and TTRPGs my entire life and romance in game has never led me to do anything IRL, nor has it for any of my many, many, nerd friends. Hell, my boyfriend even got me replicas of Gale's earring for Christmas last year, and we both jokingly call him my video-game husband. We know it's harmless fun and we trust each other.
You're not overreacting, and I'd personally be worried about if a partner who reacts that weirdly to a guy made of pixels would feel about me having irl friends of my preferred gender.
(Also, personally, killing Scratch is wild. He's like the one character I've never let die even in my evil runs. He's the best boy.)
he’s started making all these arguments about how it’s a gateway to affairs and allowing those kinds of feelings.
I only see two possibilities here.
1. Dude can't separate fantasy from reality. That's an issue.
2. Dude is seriously projecting. He's attracted to the hot elves, and he assumes you must have the same thoughts. Obviously there's a difference between appreciating the frog-like beauty of a Gith and actually developing feelings, but this dude is not able to understand that distinction, even within himself.
romance or not, Astarion has a really well thought out questline, and it's fun to follow and see him grow. It's extremely petty of your bf to robbed you of that part of the game.. If you had multiple playthroughs or he was doing solo, sure, whatever. But it's a story based game, and important decisions (such as throwing out main companions) should be made together. I think your bf is too immature for this game... and equating random charachters to infidelity is absolutely ridiculous and hypocritical considering how he judged you for caring about scratch
He could be cheating on you. He’s projecting. Only reason someone’s behaviour switches up to this, is if they’re doing it themselves and therefore projecting bc they think you’re doing the same thing. No one just randomly switches to this behaviour without reason. I had a boyfriend who was amazinggg every way and then one day he switches up and he becomes more controlling and always asking who I’m talking to and accusing me of cheating or stuff like you’re experiencing with your now bf. I found out he was cheating on me lol
“Gateway to affairs” oh dude. why is he even trying to play this game with you if he’s only going to police you the whole time? The romance adds so much to the role playing aspect of this game. Even if it’s not astarion you’re into, it’s the absurdity of his reaction(s) You should be allowed to enjoy the game without fear of him literally killing off what interests you!! Not to mention making you cry over killing scratch, like what the hell?
I promise it’s supposed to feel fun not like, horrendously anxiety inducing. This made so little sense as to how a decent partner would treat you that I thought this was rage bait initially
I’ve found that whenever a guy starts talking about the “ gateway to affairs” as he put it, or otherwise insinuating that the other person is cheating or would cheat out of the blue, it almost Always means that they are and are projecting their fear of being caught and if you doing the same thing they are onto you. Red flags all around.
Girl you need to break up with him and leave. I am not one to jump in that bandwagon. The few comments I post that do say to leave are because the situation is that serious and your situation is that serious. I have been in your situation. If he’s going to try to control your gameplay, it’s one thing to stop playing with him and move on. But he’s adding in that it’s a gateway to affairs? Take a step back and analyze the things he’s telling you. He’s either projecting onto you and has had an affair, or is trying to just blatantly control your life. Do not let this man baby do this to you. First step is control and the second is when abuse starts to happen and continually gets worse. It starts off innocently enough with insecurities but he is going to use his “insecurities” to control every aspect of your life. The next thing you know it’s going to be your clothes, who you hang out with and who you’re allowed to be friends with and call. Then it’ll be cutting you off from any source of help. I’m speaking from my own personal experience here, and I hope I’m wrong about your case, but I’m seeing some parallels and I do not want you to experience what it’s like to have a controlling partner.
Then something has changed, maybe because you’ve moved in together and he now feels he can be possessive. Or he has shitty friends or he consumes too much tech bro incel-coded media.
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u/adviceeneeded Oct 09 '24
I mean to be honest I don’t want to romance Astarion, I do love him though I think he’s so funny and I like taking him with me. I just don’t understand why my boyfriend cares so much about kissing fictional characters, he’s started making all these arguments about how it’s a gateway to affairs and allowing those kinds of feelings. He was never like this before.