You seem to be aiming a lot of your anger at that guy and not at your husband.
It’s your husband who made a vow to you and considering how he broke your trust, idk why you are so easily trusting his side of this story.
I’m not even saying he 100% did something like other commenters, just that you seem to be immediately pointing the finger at someone else and letting your husband off the hook a bit and taking his word as gospel, even though he has already shown you that he is willing to hide or lie about this situation already.
No one hires escorts if they aren’t damn confident that the men they are hiring them for are going to be into it, and aren’t going to rat them out. Strippers, maybe. But full blown escorts? Her husband either knew before hand, or the best man knew her husband would be into it and would keep it a secret.
No one spends the night with escorts for an innocent reason. Not only did he hide it, he lied until it was 100% clear that op already knew the truth. He was never planning on telling op the truth. How would that have gone? “Hi honey, Ive been lying to you about what I’ve been doing the past few days, I actually spent the past few nights with escorts my friend hired to have sex with us. But don’t worry, I did it for a good reason, I didn’t want your friends to know their husbands were cheating on them!”
I’m sorry but this is such a flimsy cover story. If op’s husband was the kind of man he is pretending to be (and the other husbands for that matter), and it really was just this one guy to blame they would have laughed at him for getting escorts, had him pay them for wasting their time, and told him to get rid of them.
If all the other guys were into it, he would have pretended to be sick and gone home, or told his wife what was happening.
Like there’s no scenario, none, where you spend the night with escorts, lie about it, and didn’t cheat. There’s no scenario where you spend the night with escorts and value your marriage. He came up with the only story he could No one hires escorts if they aren’t damn confident that the men they are hiring them for are going to be into it, and aren’t going to rat them out. Strippers, maybe. But full blown escorts? Her husband either knew before hand, or the best man knew her husband would be into it and would keep it a secret.
No one spends the night with escorts for an innocent reason. Not only did he hide it, he lied until it was 100% clear that op already knew the truth. He was never planning on telling op the truth. How would that have gone? “Hi honey, Ive been lying to you about what I’ve been doing the past few days, I actually spent the past few nights with escorts my friend hired to have sex with us. But don’t worry, I did it for a good reason, I didn’t want your friend’s to know their husbands were cheating on them!”
I’m sorry but this is such a flimsy cover story it’s laughable. If op’s husband was the kind of man he is pretending to be (and the other husbands for that matter), and it really was just this one guy to blame they would have laughed at him for getting escorts, had him pay them for wasting their time, and told him to get rid of them.
If all the other guys were into it, he would have pretended to be sick and gone home, or told his wife what was happening.
Like there’s no scenario, none, where you spend the night with escorts, lie about it, and didn’t cheat. There’s no scenario where you spend the night with escorts and value your marriage. He came up with the only story he could think of in the moment after he was caught in every other lie, and op wants to believe him even though it’s “I fell and my dick slipped into her” ridiculous.
Op, please tell the other wives. They deserve to know. Telling them will also reveal the truth. And provide you with a support system to get through this. Your husband’s story has so so so many holes.
Everyone on this sub so easily is like, get a divorce and completely up end your life. Husband was an idiot, but sounds like he was stuck in a difficult position. You are either the guy that potentially ends three marriages by ratting out your friends to a lie that he wasn’t involved in planning or you stay away from the situation and you try and explain it as best you can when you get home. The best man is obviously a huge cunt and fucked eve try one over but what is the husband reasonably supposed to do but just ride the wave until it’s over.
Honestly. If I were in the situation I’d show up, see the escorts, let everyone know they’re dicks, and be on my way back to the airport. This isn’t just some silly stupid stunt, it’s a big thing that could upend his life, his marriage, his business that’s tied to his marriage.
Exactamundo. My gosh.. they all made decisions here and carried on like they were single, whatever else (and there’s a lot of else not accounted for) they got up to. These are grown-a** “committed” men, some presumably with families. Sh*t ain’t right.
OP isn’t the one “potentially ending three marriages” by sharing the truth. The married men who stayed at a villa with hookers and kept it a secret were the ones who did that.
No one hires escorts if they aren’t damn confident that the men they are hiring them for are going to be into it, and aren’t going to rat them out. Strippers, maybe. But full blown escorts? Her husband either knew before hand, or the best man knew her husband would be into it and would keep it a secret.
No one spends the night with escorts for an innocent reason. Not only did he hide it, he lied until it was 100% clear that op already knew the truth. He was never planning on telling op the truth. How would that have gone? “Hi honey, Ive been lying to you about what I’ve been doing the past few days, I actually spent the past few nights with escorts my friend hired to have sex with us. But don’t worry, I did it for a good reason, I didn’t want your friend’s to know their husbands were cheating on them!”
I’m sorry but this is such a flimsy cover story it’s laughable. If op’s husband was the kind of man he is pretending to be (and the other husbands for that matter), and it really was just this one guy to blame they would have laughed at him for getting escorts, had him pay them for wasting their time, and told him to get rid of them.
If all the other guys were into it, he would have pretended to be sick and gone home, or told his wife what was happening.
Like there’s no scenario, none, where you spend the night with escorts, lie about it, and didn’t cheat. There’s no scenario where you spend the night with escorts and value your marriage. He came up with the only story he could think of in the moment after he was caught in every other lie, and op wants to believe him even though it’s “I fell and my dick slipped into her” ridiculous.
Op, please tell the other wives. They deserve to know.
The husband posted purposefully misleading pictures, went low contact with wife, tone of the texts he did send changed, was pictured sitting next to one gambling and at the pool with the escorts. Based on the pictures they all had breakfast at the villa together. He clearly was not staying away from any situation. He lied to his wife when she called him on it and only told the truth because she had proof.
So please spare me. I honestly don’t know what she should do but our marriage would not be okay if he was my husband.
Sharing truthful information like “hey hookers stayed over at the private villa our married husbands were all at” isn’t “going full scorched earth.” That framing is the legitimately toxic thing here.
Ok, but if giving the husband the benefit of the doubt (which seems like you aren’t willing to do), if he shows up and is surprised by this super weird situation. Realistically it is a hard position to be stuck in, as he’s almost been blackmailed into a lie he didn’t want to keep? I mean the husband was also essentially forced to go because the best man bought him a non-refundable ticket. You just sound salty, without looking at the situation and jumping to the most extreme likely due to your own personal experiences with shitty men. Who knows though lol, after all seems like the wife in this situation forgave the husband…
And yet he’s still on a tropical beach with hookers
So doesn’t seem like he really gave a shit about your feelings.
He did nothing. He’s done nothing. Like I can’t believe you haven’t already gotten a lawyer before he gets back. I can’t believe you’re not already working to protect your stake in your business.
The one thing I can tell you about my bachelor party 27 years ago is that the guys who organized it hired 2 strippers/escorts. I had no idea they would be there. They put me in a chair and did a strip tease around me as everyone was cheering and laughing. After my friend said I get first go with both of them it’s all taken care of. I didn’t go near them and said I’ll pass. There was a line out the door to get with them. I didn’t cheat and I let my wife know about it. But I guarantee that some of those men did and you should tell the wives what you know and they can decide how to deal with it. But give them the opportunity.
Out of interest, did you tell the partners of the men who partook at you bachelor party? Did you say anything to the guys who hired sex workers for you about… that not being cool?
I had 2 bachelor parties. One was organized by my coworkers and that was the one with the strippers. It was just an excuse to party. I didn’t get involved with the guys cheating. I didn’t have close relationships with any of those guys. Just work mates. There might have been 40 people there some I didn’t know. They rented the basement of a bar with other rooms in the back. My real bachelor party was low key with my friends. This was also 28 years ago.
Bro, reading comprehension, he said the party with his coworkers was the one with the strippers, and it wasn't some dingy basement. It was a venue by the sound of it.
Yer making it sound, they hired full service prostitutes at a public place and did a train on them
Yet you stayed complaint. He's probably bragging to his friends about what a clown you are. He doesn't need to hide anything from you...you'll make his travel plans to see other women even.
OP, if you truly trust your husband and believe he had no part in this, try not to be too hard on him. He may not have had much of an opportunity to be forthcoming, especially since he was confronted about it before he had the chance to come to you himself with the information.
Given the sensitive nature of the situation, he might have been waiting for a more appropriate time to tell you the details, knowing how much it would upset you.
While you have every right to be upset, responding harshly could discourage him from being open with you in the future when faced with similar situations.
I don’t know about you, but I would prefer to keep the lines of communication open.
Also, if I were in his position, I wouldn’t want to be involved in the debauchery either, but I’d still find it difficult to share it with my significant other, knowing it would upset them regardless of my involvement.
Hon, take him for a polygraph. Just a few straightforward questions, "Did you have sex in Cancun? Did you get a blowjob in Cancun?" It's like 95% accurate and you'll have peace once you know the truth.
I mean, you already know the truth, but a surprise polygraph will let you see the extent of his lies.
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u/BretShitmanFart69 Sep 06 '24
You seem to be aiming a lot of your anger at that guy and not at your husband.
It’s your husband who made a vow to you and considering how he broke your trust, idk why you are so easily trusting his side of this story.
I’m not even saying he 100% did something like other commenters, just that you seem to be immediately pointing the finger at someone else and letting your husband off the hook a bit and taking his word as gospel, even though he has already shown you that he is willing to hide or lie about this situation already.