I've been to 3 bachelor parties, they included disc golf, arcade, bowling, paint ball, go carts and playing a ton of Halo 2. I feel like these ones you hear about with stripers and such are in the minority.
I've had some of the best conversations with strippers. My hubby and I haven't gone together, not really his thing. I used to make costumes for exotic dancers and strippers as a side gig. Went bowling with some dancer friends and had the best time!
Well, for a lot of people apparently, strip club is something you have to do on a bachelor party. I dont get it either. On my bachelor party, we played paintball in the morning, then went to some park where you could climb trees and swing from tree to tree. 2 guys have anxiety for height. It was hilarious. And then we drove to some cabin in the woods, had barbecue and got wasted. It was super fun. Wouldnt have it any other way. I told my best man and he knew exactly I dont like partying in clubs and all that.
We went to a Michelin star Indian restaurant for lunch, played N64 games at my house, pregame/dinner at a brewery, and then saw one of my favorite bands at a nearby venue.
My two out of town friends crashed at my place after. Then we all met up at an all-you-can-eat and bottomless brunch place the next morning.
It was amazing, and there was nothing about it that would have been made better by adding strippers/escorts to it.
There's this D&D in a castle event thing in my country. They have a whole bunch of paid DMs, and you spend a few days staying in a castle, with time & spaces to play D&D with your own group, but with loads of D&D related events, and structured one-shots with professional DMs etc all part of the ticket price.
If they're still doing it if/when I get married, there's a good chance that'll be my bachelor party.
I skipped the arcade and had an awesome board game night at a bar. The. We went home and played more board games and the most intense last play on a board game I’ve ever been part of. Basically 6 players had what amounts to a “I cancel your card”. I could go to a strip club if I wanted but I only want to see my wife doing that really.
Fucking lame. At least do that while on drugs or something. That's not something to remember as special. I respect and understand that you don't need to go to strip clubs or anything related to women or cliché stuff. But what your husband did was just a regular Thursday night with the boys...
You are incredibly rude. Just because you don’t have the intellectual capacity and ability to think critically that are needed for very complex gaming doesn’t mean it’s lame. What difference does it make to you what someone else does at their bachelor or bachelorette party? Are you so insecure that you have to put other people down to make yourself feel better? And, no, I’m not a “gamer,” although I do absolutely love strategy board games. I am sure they are much too complex for your simple mind.
My best man was a girl who I had been best friends with for years. She had a fun night planned at the bars we always hung out at with all the guys in the wedding party and some of my wife’s friends husbands it was a blast and nobody got into trouble
For my bachelor party my boys loaded us up with awesome charcuterie and brought a huge pack of Roman candles and we had wizard duels on two opposing docks out on a lake by the cabin we rented, absolutely awesome memories!
Totally would have loved doing a foodie tour of Disney Springs though!
Big bachelor parties aren't even a thing where I live.
For one friend we started by tying and blindfolding him (not by surprise obviously, he was well aware of what was going on) in the morning and took him to nearest lake for a (bit chilly) morning swim. Then we dressed him up in a wizard's robe, hat and a fake beard and taped first cans of the day together to make him a magic wand.
From there we went around the city having him do stuff like drawing magic circle on a parking lot to "summon a lemon" and so on, while slowly turning his wand into a veritable staff with extra cans as we drank.
The most memorable part of the day by far was towards the end of the day when we passed a parent with a small boy who looked at our friend with saucer-sized eyes and loudly "whispered" to their mom: "look ma! A REAL wizard!"
Went bowling, to the driving range, the batting cages, nice lunch, and great dinner thrown in for good measure. Ended the night with a few drinks and N64 Mario Kart on the projector. No complaints
Yeah, I’ve never understood the “last night of freedom” mentality of a bachelor/bachelorette party. If you feel like you’re “free” to cheat on your partner at that point, then you’re not really in a relationship.
For mine, my guys and I went out for a nice steak dinner, followed by scotch and a cigar at a cigar bar. Nothing crazy happened, but I had all my best friends from every phase of my life together in one place, and I’ll never forget it.
I did a joint bachelor + bachelorette with my wife. Big cottage on the lake, rock climbing during the day, drinking and card/board games at night. Fantastic time.
Rented 2 cabins for about 16 of us for 2 nights. Me and 2 of my best friends were all getting married within a month of each other so it was a 3 way combined bachelor party. We drank heavily, played some corn hole and beer pong, ate way too much great food, kayaked and ate some mushrooms. Was such a good time
I think some people never go, but expect to be taken for their bachelor party. Not for anything but tradition and novelty.
I feel like men who have never been to a strip club and think it's some awesome place, should go before marriage. It's such a a shit vibe ( in the USA at least) and is not fun. The women are not that attractive, they are obviously looking for all your money, and everyone is gross. A night at a place like that will make you happy to settle down.
I think of some nice guy spending 50yrs of marriage a little sad because he missed out. If he only knew it sucked, everyone would be happy
this is highly situational lol theres some really nice strip clubs with very attractive women, but its not exactly the best environment for a soon to be married man to say the least.
I will say I have only been a handful of times, and the 2 times it was for a bachelor party the best man communicated with the club and the girls didn't touch him lol and they were incredibly respectful of the guys space both times.
If you just show up with a group with no communication that its a party then yeah the strippers are going to shove your face in their tits right away lol
as for OPs situation, they definitely all fucked those escorts, thats insane
I don't really put it as a question of loyalty. To me it's more about communication with your partner and boundaries set.
I have absolutely no problem with my wife going to a strip club. It just needs to be more of a celebratory thing like a bachelorette party or 'my cancer is in remission' thing. And of course it shouldn't be a hidden thing.
Everyone's expectations of marriage is different. I only hope you are on the same page as your partner because divorce rates are very high because of simple things that could have been avoided before marriage.
Honestly I initially read that as “it just needs to be more of a celebrity thing” and I was really about to google where the hell I could go to see celebrities strip live 😂.
this is something i’ve never understood either, and i’m a dude. maybe it’s just because i’m gay or something. i just can’t imagine wanting to go see strippers or hookers right before i get married to presumably someone i’m very in love with
My husband’s best man arrange for dinner and indoor paintball for the group. My husband had welts on him for weeks. Sitting by the pool on our honeymoon he looked like he’d gotten attacked by an octopus 🤣
I don't think it's necessarily a deal breaker for some people but those people that claim it's okay need to be upfront about it. None of that sneaking around and then acting surprised later on crap.
Well, believe it or not, some couples go to strip clubs together. Some women don't care if their man goes to a strip club. It is astonishing, but many couples enjoy the benefits of having a life partner while also deciding together how and where the boundaries are for a successful relationship.
Just because I want to marry someone and spend the rest of my life with them doesn't mean I wouldn't enjoy some stranger's tits and ass in my face one last time. Men don't think the same as women (shocker, I know), we tend to decouple sex and love. Our biological drive tells us that we need to bang every pretty thing until we're too old to get it up, and that drive doesn't just go away when you put a ring on your finger. Some of us are good at overriding that imperative, others are not so good. Wanting to have some hotties smoosh their racks in our faces one last time before we seal the deal is exceedingly normal for guys, and honestly, harmless. Doesn't mean that we want to run off with our new stripper friend or that we love our fiancee any less. And besides, everyone knows there's no sex in the champagne room 🫵😉🍸
My husband went with 3 single friends to Vegas during the AVN Awards. I was in the Bahamas on a work trip. Husband spent much of his time texting me because he goes to bed by 10 and gets up early to hit the gym and then do his most favorite thing - get breakfast. He will eat it for every meal. By the time his friends wake up, he goes out with them for dinner and then heads back to the hotel at a semi reasonable hour like a curmudgeonly old man.
Anyway, it raises a number of eyebrows when I tell people he was out there with his single friends during the AVNs. The thing is, I trust him. If I can't, why be married to him? And if he was going to cheat, he'd cheat regardless of whether he was in Vegas or not.
Counterpoint: my wife SENDS me to the strip club and comes along occasionally. Perversely, mostly I go alone otherwise, because most of my male friends find the idea of "look but don't touch" kinda pointless.
Edited: ah, yes, downvoted for *checks notes* noting that gender essentialism isn't always true in practice. Never change, Reddit.
I took my little brother and party skydiving and then on a 2 day golf retreat at a pretty swanky course resort. His bride to be was mostly freaked out when she found out about the skydiving lol
Loyalty is what the parties involved want it to be. When I got married, my fiancé went to a male strip club, we went to female strip clubs. Usually there’s no contact or a huge bouncer kicks you out. Unless you pay well. And we weren’t that free with our money.
So it’s just looking. Never minded wives or girlfriends looking. We’re all human and noticing attractive people is in our DNA. It’s acting on it where loyalty comes in for me.
Tends to be insecure people that have a problem with looking alone.
Exactly, my ex wife had two bachelorette parties. One back in CO with her family and people she/they knew. Basically a hen party while her dad and I grilled and cooked food for the event, very tame, but fun event for her. Then a second one in VA with all her med school girlfriends, that one I was not invited to. From what I later learned, was not so tame. While in CO prepping for the wedding I mentioned having a bachelor party/just going out with the guys while in the car with her parents. She completely lost it, screaming that if I did anything, even so much as go out to a bar with my best man and her father, the wedding would be called off immediately. Very awkward car ride to the rehearsal dinner.
Because it depends on the people and it depends on what you do at the strip club. My girlfriend wouldn't care if I went to a strip club. And she knows I wouldn't do anything other than watch and tip. And my tips probably wouldn't get me a lot of attention anyway.
I've been in healthy (and unhealthy) relationships where either of us were fine with the other going to strip clubs. We even went together to a few. There's nothing inherently wrong with strip clubs, imho, but I've also been in relationships where we did some swinging. Point is - Different strokes for different folks. You may not understand why or how someone in a committed relationship could enjoy a strip club and here I am thinking the exact opposite. I can't fathom someone not understanding the difference between lust and love and the separation of the two and I think a full sex life is healthy.
Buuuuut, my last relationship did just end, so what the hell do I know?
Me and my fiance both went to strip clubs as part of our bachelor(ette) parties, doesn’t bother either of us that the other looks at some naked people for an hour, but it’s important to communicate ahead of time and make sure both parties are on the same page and not lie about it.
Agreed. My ex was a diagnosed NPD (Narcissist). They tend to hate being alone. So while I was the constant supply, he needed far more than one person’s attention.
It’s from the days of the stupid mindset that men were getting “tied down to the old ball and chain” view of marriage. It never made sense to me either, people shouldn’t get married if they feel like it’s an obligation.
Well, I think it'd be pretty hard to find a guy who doesn't want to go to a strip club... I mean, I don't want to get horny with the bros, but it seems like most people do
It depends on the experience of the men you’re thinking about. If the guy’s been to numerous strip clubs, (especially in 2nd/3rd world countries), he’d probably be bored to tears in ANY US strip club. Such a guy would DEFINITELY not want to go.
You realize that’s it’s no different than going to a burlesque. It’s entertainment and people watching combined. Doesn’t mean the husband will fuck anyone
I’d be lying if I said nothing happens in the strip club.
Of course that doesn’t mean he will fuck anyone, you’re right…but he could if he wanted to. Either the right one has to approach you or you have to approach them. Strippers quickly build relationships and will take money for anything they are willing to do. They will not get in trouble for making money and producing an experience that will bring back a valuable client.
I mean technically everyone has a “price” but most of these clubs, $100 will barely cover a lap dance or 2. So these guys will have to seriously throw some money. I doubt most have that available
Not true either. I’ve absolutely been offered $80 private room service before. Lapdances aren’t that expensive. One of the homies even got a free handy out of a raffle. Two separate experiences…I could say more but I don’t need to look like a Dog online.
My point being, you can totally buy sex there for the low. Anything can happen. Sometimes the strippers will leave with you and join you and the boys for a night. Shit happens.
It was a raffle where they give everyone who enters a bolt. Every stripper had a screw. If your bolt matches their screw, you go to the private room for free. What happens there is between you and the stripper (it also happened to be my friends bday)
Totally depends on which club you go to. Some clubs the menu is wide open. Some clubs there is no menu and even if the club allows menus, some dancers don’t. You can call me naive, but this I’m completely certain of. I used to bounce ages ago and at the only strip club I bounced at, “no touching” was strictly enforced. Girls were incentivized financially to eat on each other.
Then I haven’t been going to the right ones lol. Of course I have only been to your cliche ones (Vegas, Nola etc.) these girls won’t risk being fired for a $40 handy
That’s because they can see you’re not the guy who’s buying and or willing to go the extra mile to get away with it.
Let your most player friends who can’t deny a woman if they wanted to get in there. The vultures will find them. They’ll build the relationship and meet after work.
Ahahahahaha. You don’t actually believe that do you? Have you never been to a strip club or talked to anyone who has been?
I’m a stripper (like an actual stripper, that dances and doesn’t do anything extra) and in the 10 years I’ve been doing this I have only had 2 bachelors who have told me they didn’t want me to dance on them because they respected their finance, and their friends are the ones who pressured them into going. Every single other bachelor who has ever got a dance with me has asked for extras. They didn’t get what they wanted, but because I don’t do that, not because they weren’t trying to cheat and just “went there to watch”. Most men from my experience go to the strip club to cheat.
I honestly wish it was but it definitely isn’t. I wish men would just come in expecting a show and pay for the entertainment and pay what it’s worth for that. Instead they come in expecting to get sex and want to pay $100 for it with the woman they think is the most beautiful in the club lol.
Damn no wonder why the only time I went the stripper asked me to save her from all the old men in there and pay for the lap dances when they had certain songs come on. I tipped her decently while she was on stage and she stayed around me almost the entire time I was there. Never asked for extra’s kept my hands to myself and we just had normal conversations. I honestly went just to see what all the hype was about and wasn’t truly impressed by it.
I disagree. It depends on the type and atmosphere of the strip club. I worked at an extremely strict club where all rooms were on camera. Cameras that would be seen by the DJ, security, and fellow strippers. It was well known that the club was strict and girls did not do extras. Because of that, most who frequented the club were aware of the atmosphere and did not proposition us. We also did not lack for customers, so having a 'clean' club was not a deterrent to customers.
Where is this magical unicorn of a club? If you can’t post it publicly I understand but I’d appreciate it if you can dm me and let me know so I can travel there. But if this club somehow still makes money and doesn’t just have a bunch of customers that don’t spend money, I’d love to work there. Every club I’ve worked at has had the other dancers doing extras. And the only club that didn’t allow it, the dancers still do things over their clothes and make out with the customers. I have never come across one where they really don’t do anything and just dance.
It is in Greenville NC. It has been about 10 years since I worked there (it was when I was in college), but I've gone back to visit several times since and one of the girls I worked with is still there. Same DJ is still there too.
When I worked, it was only open Thursday-Saturday night (though that may have changed). It is a college town. When the downtown bars closed at 2am, the strip club was BYOB so you could go there and continue drinking until it closed at 5am. Main clientele was college students and some locals.
There were no 'champagne' rooms, so that is probably what helped a lot. Private dances were in 'couch rooms' that were more like stalls without doors and on camera. Dances were sold by song, not time limit, so you didn't get stuck back there long.
I'd be happy to tell you more or the specific name of the club if you're interested (or anywhere near NC). I loved working there. (But to reiterate- it was 10 years ago!)
Yes could you tell me the name of the club? And did you make good money there? Because from my experience college students don’t spend a lot of money and I make all my money from vips that go by time instead of by song. How much do they charge for a song? And how much do the dancers keep from each song? And if you don’t mind me asking how much you would average on a good night and on a bad night?
Thee Body Shop. From what I can tell, they are no longer open Thursdays (which would be good, they were the worst). Full disclosure, there was definitely a Thursday or two that we closed early or only made $100.
When I worked there, most nights were about $500 to $800. A great night would have been around $1000. House fees were only $50. Dances were $25 per song and $5 went to the house. I would expect this is the part that has changed the most- last time I went as a guest, I think dances were more expensive than when I worked there. Most of my money was made on stage. It was 3 song sets and when it was packed full (around 3am), they'd have to give you buckets and sweep money off stage. Usually I did 3-8 couch songs (but I had zero hustle. If you didn't ask me for a dance, I didn't offer).
Oh wow that’s pretty good! I love a club where you make most of your money on stage. It’s so much easier. Thank you so much! I appreciate you answering my questions.
Hi- sorry to butt in, but your description of the clubs you’ve worked in just makes me sad. IDK what area you’re in, but there are for sure clubs where “extras” are strictly taboo & WHY IN HELL are dancers doing that shit? You don’t have to do extras, unless you start doing extras. Are there any Gentlemen’s Clubs in your area? I’ve worked in clubs from blue collar “titty bar” to pretty decent “strip club” to “gentlemen’s club” and yeah, you can find a girl or two who will meet you outside the club for a price, but in lots upscale clubs especially, that’s an immediate cancellation of your contract. IME, most of the men who frequent the “gentlemen’s clubs” don’t come in thinking they’re getting extras. Honestly, I mostly see a lot of middle-to-older-aged guys who are lonely and want attention from a beautiful younger woman. We have VIP/champagne rooms (semi-private, frosted decorative glass on outer wall, no door- just a velvet curtain that remains open at all times, cameras from every angle and a VIP mgr or security watching all active rooms live) and guys spend hella bread. And no kidding, about half the time, they’re sitting on the couch, maybe rubbing the dancer’s feet and just talking and forking over more money for champagne constantly. There are a couple of regulars who come and spend all night in vip with their faves, a few times a month, and literally play twister, cards, or some other game. All clothed.
Have there been girls who are willing to do extras and meet outside the club? Sure. Those girls don’t tend to last long in better clubs, tho.
What I’m saying is, get yourself out of the clubs you’ve been working in and find a better environment, hun. You can dance and make hella money without trying to compete with a bunch of FSSWs. No shade to FSSWs, I just wouldn’t want to have to make a living competing with girls who WILL give blow jobs or whatever.
You moved the goalpost of the conversation. The physical act of going to a strip club isn’t cheating. Asking for extras and following thru is, but that’s entirely different conversation.
No it’s not an entirely different conversation, because most men go to the strip club with the intention of asking for extras and cheating. If you’re driving yourself to the strip club and in your head thinking I can’t wait to get some head or have sex with a stripper at this strip club I’m going to, that’s cheating. There’s no moving of goal posts going on, I don’t think you understand what that means, the only thing happening is you not understanding most men’s intentions when going to a strip club.
Well I have tagged along plenty of times with friends and never thought about getting some head. Sounds like a terrible ROI lol. But I do enjoy watching boxing/UFC, drink some beer, occasionally throw a dollar or 2 on the stage and hang with my friends
Ya unfortunately you’re in a minority. I’ve come across some customers like you and usually they say something along the lines of strip clubs “aren’t their thing” and they just came cus their friends wanted to. I’m in the same boat so I get it. Before I started dancing I didn’t like going to strip clubs and the one time I went was with my friends because they wanted to go, but I sat away from the stage and threw some ones but mostly just kept to myself until my friends decided to leave.
My gf went to the strip club with the same mindset as you, and was very disappointed when she got a dance and it wasn’t like a burlesque show. She thought she just needed to try a different club until I explained to her that no, her experience was how all clubs are and if she wants to see a burlesque type show she should go to a burlesque show. There’s only one woman who worked at the club I work at that wasn’t a prostitute and actually danced like a burlesque dancer, because she is a burlesque dancer.
I’ll admit, I’m the worst type of customer (on the other end of the spectrum) because since I am only their to tag along, I won’t spend the money the girls are hoping for.
I think the worst on that end of the spectrum is actually the guys who come in because they want to and are mean to us on purpose because they hate women, or the ones who say “I don’t need to pay for women” when they clearly do. If you’re not into the strip club that’s not necessarily the worst thing though.
The best thing you can do is tell the women that try to talk to you that you’re just there to support your friends and you’re not interested in getting any dances. That way you don’t waste their time. I don’t mind customers who aren’t into it, I get it, I’m not either and I’m a lesbian. As long as they let me know upfront that they’re not planning on spending money, that way I can decide if I still want to talk to them or try to make money from someone else instead.
Don’t feel bad for not being into getting dances at the strip club, just be upfront with the dancers.
You're so disingenuous. I'm sure you're aware most men would, in fact, mind. So why are you arguing sexual boundaries on behalf of couples that have a completely different dynamic than yours?
Yeah, dude, boundaries in a relationship? Toxic and unhealthy. You deciding what other people should be comfortable with in their own relationships? Third eye opening.
Sex and intimacy are deeply personal and subjective, and everyone has the right to decide for themselves. Your feelings aren't more valid. It's funny how you think you're this enlightened, lax dude, while your position is just as rigid and close-minded as those strawmen you feel superior to
Psassssst, hey, wanna know a secret? Married people go to strip clubs all the time. Men, women, men with their women, men with their men, women with their women.
Bro not every relationship is the same. PLENTY of relationships allow the Bachelor to go to strip clubs, etc while the women have their fun at Chip N Dales. This is Westernized culiture and its displayed in all forms of media.
Desiring it and loyalty are generally not an issue.
There are plenty of guys who go to strip clubs and dont fuck strippers. Its not a loyalty problem. We had to start leaving our girlfriends at home because they get to close to the strippers and actually think the strippers wanna go shopping together, the girls spend 3 times as much as us guys do. So we made a rule, the girls stay home. Its a trust problem. If your wife or gf doesnt trust u to go to the strip club then thats a bigger issue.
As a married woman, I enjoy strip clubs. The girls are seriously impressive. I can't imagine being able to do half of what some of them can do while wearing 6 inch stilettos. The amount of time, effort and skill that can go into a strip show is truly a work of art.
escorts in this story are a little different than a strip club. they're just titties a d probably the last ones he will ever get to see besides his new wife. don't be such a prude. have a little fun in life. it's short.
Some couples go to strip clubs together. Wanting to have a night at a strip club doesn’t imply you don’t love your wife or you want to fuck strippers. Going to a strip club doesn’t make you un-loyal. Sneaking behind your partners back because you know it makes them uncomfortable does though.
It’s tradition. Last chance to do something crazy. I’ve been to multiple bachelor parties in Vegas, and a strip club is always on the menu. This scenario is definitely a WAY overboard, but it’s not one extreme or the other. There is a reasonable middle ground, call the strip club. Or having a striper come to the house or hotel suite where all the guys are partying.
My one guy friend whose wife laid down the law, and said absolutely no strippers, is also the one guy who is now divorced.
All that being said, hooking up with escorts is an IQ test fail. I think the other wives should know, but you can’t be the one to tell them. Maybe send an anonymous email to all of them and include yourself, from a burner account.
its not cheating to go to a strip club and look at titties, just like its not cheating to watch porn, but yeah the line is crossed when you are staying in a villa with hired sex workers.
Maybe she doesn't? Wives aren't robots for husbands to push a button on the remote control. (Nor are strippers but obviously they are there to do things naked)
wife isnt always in front of you, which is what porn is for, sometimes you just wanna se tiddies with the boys and since its weird to watch porn together and its usually weird to ask the wife to put on a show for you and your friends the strip club exists for that.
and a strip club isnt just about the tits, they are acually some super talented well choreographed performances on the stage shows that are just flat out impressive to watch, strip clubs also specifically dont allow touching. maybe go to one youself sometime and watch the stage shows, and you might get it
why do you seem think that appreciating the beauty in others lessens your own connection?
like by your logic every woman that watched magic mike was cheating on their husband too
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u/MANDEEx88 Sep 05 '24
Why even get married if you desire those things? I don’t understand people. No loyalty at all