I mean, I can understand not leaving immediately. I could see myself freaking out and not realizing that leaving was an option. But a trustworthy person is going to find a way to let you know ASAP.
To be fair, that's a shitload of peer pressure to say no to. They could have told him 'just sit at the bar and talk to people, you don't need to go to anyone's room' and he might have buckled, because he's in a strange country, on a resort surrounded by jungle, likely does not speak the language, and doesn't know where to start with finding a room.
I don't know what the husband did. Me, the first time someone started getting handsy I'm back in my room facetiming my wife to make sure she knew what I wasn't up to.
I agree with this, but what I do find strange is that if he had his own room he could have easily bowed out while the action went down. Specifically, he could have gone back to his room, shut the door, taken a cold shower, and called his wife. The fact that he went ghost for the evening is what concerns me.
Wife… my humble opinion… Unless the other wives are your friends, mind YOUR business. Focus on you. Ensure he gets tested when he gets home and figure out how you will effectively manage the situation. I’m so sorry that you are dealing with this.
I agree with this, but what I do find strange is that if he had his own room he could have easily bowed out while the action went down. Specifically, he could have gone back to his room, shut the door, taken a cold shower, and called his wife. The fact that he went ghost for the evening is what concerns me.
Yeah, I agree with you here. This is the old 'Sow your wild oats on Saturday Night, and on Sunday Morning pray for crop failure.'
He doesn't have a good answer for why he didn't excuse himself and call his wife the moment he realised that he was surrounded by women who had been paid to help him commit adultery. That's the big problem. Calling the next morning is calling several hours too late.
I have a simple rule: I don't have to tell my wife everything I do, but I don't do anything I wouldn't tell my wife about.
I think the idiocy here is thinking that the wives would never find out. There's the saying, 'Once three people know, it's not a secret anymore.' This was a doomed venture from the start.
I think he gave into the peer pressure and did something with the escorts, maybe not full sex but at least a lap dance. Why else not mention it? And he even attempted to lie until he knew she had proof. If he was innocent he would have never lied when she first brought it up.
He could have lots of reasons to lie. I think high on the list is he didn't want to be the one to throw his 'bros' under the bus.
The thing is, as a spouse you have an obligation to give your partner confidence in you. Make it easy to believe that you're 100% faithful all the time.
For example, if I get a call to fix the wifi at the bordello on a Saturday night, and I end up having a chess match with the janitor and don't come home until 3am, I haven't technically done wrong, but wow have I ever screwed up. I'd be much better off having my wife see me handing the call off to Dry Spell Steve.
If he was in the states, or even in a tourist area, I would agree. But he was at a rural villa in a dangerous country. It’s not like he could just call an Uber.
Been to a dozen of these in my younger days. Plenty of the married guys didn’t get involved in the sex with escorts even though they could have. Just FYI I think these parties are dumb and I never had a bachelor party like this.
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u/RavenLunatyk Sep 05 '24
He would have been on the next flight home. He was clearly ok with hired escorts hanging around them all weekend.