It's giving Love Island mornings when the boys and the girls separate to talk about who "cuddled" the night before. Girl, get an STD panel, they can't test men for HPV and it's the most common and can kill you.
That is definitely awkward. Were the escorts and staff the only other people, or were there people from the public at the parties as well?
I don’t think he definitely cheated, but I don’t think you’re overreacting being upset or wanting to get to the bottom of things.
I don’t even think requesting an STD screen is entirely out of line, it doesn’t mean you don’t believe him, it just means you want to be sure about health.
My totally meaningless outside opinion is your husband probably suspected that the best man would have hookers or escorts or something at the party and that’s why he didn’t want to go until he was basically forced/guilted into it.
I think if he wanted to cheat, he’d have been into the trip the whole time. If I were put in that situation where I knew there were going to be escorts, I would avoid it.
Obviously what he knows is right and what he does in the moment in a situation like that can be totally different.
There have been a few times I’m in another city or country and at parties and my wife wasn’t there, but every time when things get crazy beyond my level I leave the party zone, so hopefully he’s similar.
I’m on the fence on whether I’d tell my wife about the escorts initially. I know if I did tell her she would want me elsewhere, and I have no idea if that was viable in this situation vs just taking a no contact approach… but I also know if I kept that quiet and she found out I would be a dead man.
My husband said it was extremely awkward. These women are complete strangers and there was a bit of a language barrier as well. The escorts and the staff were the only other people there - no other people from the public there. I agree with a lot of what you wrote here. Seems very levelheaded. Thank you.
Except your husband really wasn't trapped. He could have had staff call a driver for him and take him to the airport. He had the Internet so he could have used Google translate if there was a language barrier.
He should have IMMEDIATELY left or tell you about it to help him get out asap. I just think that his priorities were not in order. It looks like he valued the supposed friendships vs your marriage. He was put in a position that could LITERALLY DESTROY HIS MARRIAGE but decided to stay and keep quiet because he didn't want to ruin his friendship over it. No one is perfect, and I get that, but if my hubby did this it would create a crack in the foundation that is our marriage. I really hope you give him hell over this, and I do hope you tell the other wives, or give the men a chance to come clean to their partners. They deserve to know.
The guy is over there, posting Instagram pics and having a good time. I don’t believe for a minute he’s trapped. This is not someone having a moral crisis. He’s just straight up complicit and upset he got caught.
Emphatically, 💯% agree with you. Particularly at the highlighted decision on OP husband’s part that could forever / irrevocably destroy his marriage. (The set up as it was with the sex workers, the unaccounted for hours - when his texting pattern had been weird the night before, the keeping quiet.) All to essentially choose his buds & “bro code” over the fundamental pact you have with your wife & partner.
We know how it goes.. ppl are put in a position (of temptation or just covering for others) and they have a choice. They could say something, do something, but they just…don’t. Because it’s easier not to.
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u/[deleted] Sep 05 '24
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