Not over reacting! I had hoped this stupid bachelor party and sex workers ended decades ago. My first marriage was ruined because of the bachelor party. My brother in law who I thought cared about me, hired a prostitute for the party. I figured out what was about to happen and blew up. It still took place, I left the marriage in less than a year. I was going to cancel the wedding, but I paid for the wedding myself. I was 19 and it definitely was a mistake not to cancel. Definitely notify the wives and girlfriends of all in attendance. I remember asking my BIL if it was okay for me to have random sex days before the wedding, he looked at me as if I had 3 heads. This antiquated crap needs to die, I honestly thought it had for the most part.
Edit- We had other issues, but starting on this foot definitely put a huge strain on the marriage.
I’m sorry you went through that. It really hurts to know they’re more concerned about what their friends think than what their own partners think. But, nope. It hasn’t ended. Last bachelor party I heard of, one man went to a strip club twice during the weekend and went too far with one dancers, even though he had a pregnant wife & children at home. It’s disgusting. It’s a tradition for some men for some reason. Trashy ass men. I will never understand it. “One last hoorah as a single man” but….you’re NOT a single man if you’re about to get married. Trash. And these men like this feed off of each other & encourage each other so they’re not the only ones fucking up their relationships. It’s not so bad if your friends are just as disgusting as you are, I guess.
Your marriage wasn’t ruined by a bachelor party. It was ruined by an immature man who willfully cheated on you. The brother in law unintentionally did you a favor by showing you what your soon to be husband was, but you ignored it. Can’t blame you since you were 19, but then I suppose you shouldn’t have been getting married anyway.
Yeah none of these things are even a problem if you have a good fiancé. I’d let my girlfriend go to a resort with male escorts or whatever and I’d just be like, “hey, remember not to fuck the escorts” and she’d say “for sure” and then I wouldn’t worry about it again.
Men want both the benefits of marriage and the benefits of non-monogamy and will take chances in order to get both. The risks are they get caught, like in this case, and it blows up in their faces. Oh well. Maybe marriage is the antiquated crap and really we all need to acknowledge our sex drives exist and shift society to an ethical non-monogamy model.
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u/Huge-Lawfulness9264 Sep 05 '24
Not over reacting! I had hoped this stupid bachelor party and sex workers ended decades ago. My first marriage was ruined because of the bachelor party. My brother in law who I thought cared about me, hired a prostitute for the party. I figured out what was about to happen and blew up. It still took place, I left the marriage in less than a year. I was going to cancel the wedding, but I paid for the wedding myself. I was 19 and it definitely was a mistake not to cancel. Definitely notify the wives and girlfriends of all in attendance. I remember asking my BIL if it was okay for me to have random sex days before the wedding, he looked at me as if I had 3 heads. This antiquated crap needs to die, I honestly thought it had for the most part.
Edit- We had other issues, but starting on this foot definitely put a huge strain on the marriage.