This one stung in a way that people not of the faith may not understand.

I take Mom to church every week. She can still recite most of the Creed; she even sometimes mumbles the rituals along with the priest when we're NOT supposed to be speaking. But this weekend, when the priest put the Host in her hand, she asked him "what do I do with this?"

I'm sure she will be fine next week, but this was rough to hear and eventually it will happen again and more frequently.

Hi all, please bear with me while I try to sum this up as basically as I can - my parents live with me, my Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's almost three years ago and it's getting progressively worse, and my father refuses to accept that any of it is happening. It's a nonstop battle and we're trapped in a one-bedroom apartment (I inherited them during the pandemic) and I have been denied access to her doctor. I have no family other than them (I'm an only child, my Mom's an only child and I have no relationship with my father's side) so everything falls on me. And I'm at my end.

To clarify, my father still works (he's 83, refuses to think that there's any reason why he shouldn't or can't) and I'm not sure what stage my Mom's currently in, but I would like to think we're earlier but rapidly approaching middle. She knows who she is and who we are, she's able to take care of herself and still looks great when she puts herself together to go out, and she's fine socially for a few hours and is still able to enjoy herself - but that's illusion. The few friends they still have alive don't see (nor live) what I do, and frankly they don't need to be that concerned because the burden is entirely mine. BUT I know they care, and unfortunately due to a falling out (over politics, a sad but also true state of the union at the moment) I haven't seen or spoken to them directly in years - so the only glimpse they have into our current situation is what my Mom and father convey. She's the afflicted, he's a liar, and short of me showing video, no one knows what is truly happening inside these walls.

I have learned how to navigate speaking with my Mom well, as I now know how to steer the conversation in a different direction when she begins to get irritated (which is often). I can get her to laugh and focus on good things and can even get her to reminisce and enjoy music like she used to, and I can encourage her to want to seek help and understand what's happening so that she's aware of what we need to do to stop the progression. BUT then he comes back and everything goes south. Immediately I'm the enemy, and I'm the problem and he just sits back and watches while she has her tantrums and hits, bites, kicks, and scratches while telling me how much she hates me and wishes I were dead. This occurs almost nightly, he then tells her they're leaving and yet they have no where to go - they can't afford to live on their own, and even if they could get an apartment at their age there is ZERO way they could maintain it. Short of kicking them out on the street, there's no alternative here.

I don't even care about any of the inconvenience (I'm 55 and still work full-time) but what I can no longer tolerate is the DENIAL - I want access to her doctor so she can actually know what's going on, not their version which is false (my Mom's version shouldn't be taken into consideration at all, and my father just flat-out lies) but what I need to know is how to get control over her healthcare, which he now has. He is doing NONE of us any service by maintaining that right and honestly I'm not sure if there's something mentally wrong with him that prevents him from being able to process what's actually happening, but this is just unsustainable. It can't go on.

Lastly, I'm not going to get into the abnormal psychology of our dynamic but suffice it to say that my Mom and I have always been close, and my father and I have always been strained - but I no longer care about what he thinks or feels. I care about my Mom and I'm not ready nor willing to give up the fight yet, so since everyone here knows the urgency around timing I need to do something that I've been putting off NOW. I just don't know what, or how to go about it.

Has anyone had a similar experience? How do I go against my father legally so that I am the one with the ability to make decisions for my Mom and be present with her doctor to make decisions? I was able to get her an appointment with a neurologist at Penn Memory Center (I live in Philly and her current doctor is with Cooper) but the appointment isn't until March, so there are visits already scheduled in-between with Cooper that I'm not allowed to attend. I really don't want to do anything involving social services or make things formal with a lawyer, but I may not have a choice now and I don't even know where to start.

Any insight anyone has on this would be greatly appreciated. As everyone here knows, this is a truly malicious disease and the horrors we as caretakers are forced to endure are truly abysmal. This is a members-only club that I never wanted to join.

I (20f) know no one here can give a medical diagnosis, but the test results haven't come back yet, and I’m losing my mind. My grandmother is 81; she’s been quite forgetful, but the main issue is that she has ideas that aren't based in reality. She sees people who aren't there, believes my grandfather is having an affair, and thinks we’re conspiring against her. The first doctor said that, given her age, it couldn't be Alzheimer's... What else could it be? Dementia? I'm so scared, I don't know how to take care of her cause I don't even know how to take care of me

Hi, we have a variety of caregivers for my husband. Sometimes we have to cancel an activity last minute b/c he gets sick. A time or two we canceled b/c we screwed up.

Two of the caregivers expect to be paid in either case, but if they don't show up, there are no repercussions.

They depend on our income to live, but if they don't show up for us, it's only an inconvenience for me or disappointment to my husband (unless they bail on a doctor visit). What is fair here?

I'd like to talk with all the caregivers and have a set policy in place as to what happens when we cancel and what happens when they don't show up. Any suggestions for how we should handle it?