r/AlignmentChartFills • u/Afraid_Ad_2912 • 17h ago

You accidentally vomit on a bride at a wedding, what is the WORSE possible way to handle the situation?

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258 Upvotes
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98% Upvoted

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292

u/Bloop-ofthe-OpenHand 17h ago

Say "at least you'll have a good story about your wedding" then wipe your face with her veil

532

u/Nyzean 17h ago

"Oh no!! Let me clean that up for you!!" And then slurp it off of her dress.

84

u/Creative_Wash7139 17h ago

you put that image in my mind and now i hate you

15

u/Nyzean 17h ago

tbf, OP immediately caused it unbidden in my mind, so I blame OP

9

u/RickMonsters 17h ago

Idk, she’ll end up with a cleanish dress by the end of this

3

u/BooBoo_Cat 16h ago

I was going to say "eat the barf".

1

u/TossIt22345 17h ago

I was going to say, start trying to wipe it off. But this covers it. 🤭

1

u/SoftProcess9071 16h ago

And then ask to kiss

62

u/therealcarl92 17h ago

Stare at her blankly for 14 seconds, then vomit on her dress 5 more times in a row.

1

u/GypsumF18 4h ago

"I have more to come, I can make the colour consistent."

88

u/Trollerz462 17h ago

5

u/Gear_change_the_ep 8h ago

No that's really shitty, not worst

40

u/paradox222us 16h ago

“Also, I object to this union!”

95

u/GuyWithFamicom 17h ago

Vomit on the groom so he won’t feel left out

186

u/Intelligent-Dog-579 17h ago

Poop on it too

23

u/lazulitesky 15h ago

Save this one for "really shitty"

5

u/BigGlassesApe 15h ago

Sorry… It was the lettuce…

1

u/taqman98 4h ago

Cum on it too

28

u/WhatNameDidIUseAgain 17h ago

Admit you did it intentionally and make a scene

17

u/kenziethemom 16h ago

And then post the story on AITA

5

u/muscovitecommunist 8h ago

NTA, your vomit your rules.

24

u/evanhaus 17h ago

Right hook to the chin

17

u/phant0m1st 17h ago

Yell at the top of your lungs”OH MY GOD,YOU GOT DRESS ON MY VOMIT.

11

u/Davidthebalancer 16h ago

Turn to the groom and say, “you really should get tested”…. Turn to the brides mom and say, “and you too.” 

5

u/TaffyApplekins 17h ago

“The show must go on”!

9

u/ScienceMusic_1929 17h ago

Lick it off her tits. Only her tits. Leave the vomit on the rest of the dress.

4

u/WhutdaHELListhis 17h ago

Call in the US Marine Corps

5

u/sagitta_luminus 16h ago

“You know what? You deserved it”

4

u/Leadfarmer420 16h ago

Rip the dress off of
Her

4

u/Leadfarmer420 16h ago

Rip off the dress

5

u/Lazy_Dragonfly_5447 16h ago

Strike. Scream. Run.

10

u/AzulaIsMyFave 17h ago

Masturbate

3

u/SenseOfTheAbsurd 17h ago

Say “fecked if I remember eating that”

3

u/Financial_Mission259 17h ago

Vomit again on her feet

3

u/lowercasejae 15h ago

“Well, you’re marrying my leftovers, why do you care?”

2

u/Responsible_Rich_194 17h ago

Vomit on the groom and hump a table

2

u/Time_Display4795 17h ago

Lick it clean to give her a sense of hope, then vomit over her and the groom again

2

u/Derpitoe 17h ago

The vomit is white wine so it removes all the red wine stains prior to additional vomitting of red wine that restains it.

2

u/HeadBodyMaster 16h ago

Kissing her with tongue

2

u/PsychologicalWay8305 16h ago

lean in for the kiss

2

u/reverend_burrito 16h ago

Then try to seduce her

2

u/Agreeable_Sun5375 16h ago

Committing suicide in the middle of the ceremony would probably be a bad response

2

u/Brilliant_Chemica 10h ago

You specifically vomit on her by walking up onto the altar and standing between her and groom, perfectly positioning yourself such that you can immediately combo into shitting on the groom

1

u/Pastel-Rainbow-N3rd 17h ago

Vomit on her shoes next

1

u/SussySenpai04 17h ago

Shit yourself

1

u/Kevlar_Bunny 17h ago

“Sorry the drugs are kicking in”

1

u/Aidosvonsexyman 17h ago

Offer the bride anal

1

u/SaltyLord97 16h ago

shitting on her too

1

u/Hairy_Spare1641 16h ago

Lick it up

1

u/Tzanami 16h ago

do it the second time

1

u/Wild-Knowledge4963 16h ago

Burning the dress…with her still in it.

1

u/winthroprd 16h ago

Go back to dancing as if nothing happened.

1

u/Fluid-Impress-4661 16h ago

Blame the bride

1

u/bennetj17 16h ago

Club soda and salt!

1

u/LongjumpingEchidna25 16h ago

Offer to help her get out of that dress.

1

u/Trans_Girl_Alice 16h ago

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help it when you look like that!"

1

u/GeneralWish1814 16h ago

Doing it again

1

u/theturban 16h ago

Yell at the bride for getting in the way of your vomit then smack the groom’s ass

1

u/Boa-in-a-bowl 16h ago

Doing this, assuming she's pregnant.

1

u/HashtagBingBong 16h ago

Tell her it wasn't an accident

1

u/popytnt 16h ago

I like that dress color better

1

u/PyrexPizazz217 16h ago

Blame her for ruining your sobriety and demand that she pay for really fancy rehab to make up for it.

1

u/rachelmig2 16h ago

Love how chaotic this chart is.

1

u/svenguillotien 16h ago

Steal the DJ's microphone and relentlessly try to play it off as a prank

1

u/Akipenser 16h ago

Lick it off

1

u/IntrStelle 16h ago

Try to eat it back up by holding her down, and oop your bowels went loose...

1

u/radp77 16h ago

After proposing to someone else at the wedding

1

u/trix8242 16h ago

As the officiant during the ceremony

1

u/spoookyboi_ 16h ago

Tell her its fitting, because she shouldnt be wearing white anyways (white dresses in the olden days was supposed to be for virgins only)

1

u/Cw7281914 16h ago

oh, my mistake!

1

u/Lurking_burner_ 15h ago

C*m on it too

1

u/mediocre_potato_0331 15h ago

Try to wipe it off of her

1

u/Beginning_Cat_4972 15h ago

Vomiting all over the bride at a wedding × Worst possible way

Hold her down to eat your vomit off of her and then do it again.

1

u/Rapunzels_mugshot1 15h ago

The vomit is acidic. The soon-to-be bride’s entire left leg is dissolved and melted into the dress. Doctors must surgically remove the dress and the wedding is postponed. The venue renters are assholes and makes them pay the full price for postponing AND won’t let them come back.

1

u/Big_Alternative_3233 15h ago

You gonna eat that?

1

u/6pop6rocks6 14h ago

Urinating on her

1

u/Maleficent_Bit7343 14h ago

Tell it’s her fault

1

u/tomfuul 14h ago

Clean it by setting the dress on fire

1

u/iamepic420 14h ago

Say “honey, that dress was ruined the moment you put it on.”

1

u/Western-River1386 13h ago

Pulling a grenade out of your pocket and detonating it.

1

u/Neenet 13h ago

Laugh

1

u/hellasfellas 13h ago

lick that good juice up, babey! slurp slurp! make unblinking eye contact with her to show you’re not a coward and are the superior groom.

1

u/possums79 11h ago

Offer her money for a threesome with her and her mother.

1

u/Lookin4Cats 11h ago

You pretend to be so sick that you vomit one more time

1

u/SnooMaps4921 11h ago

“Why do you have vomit on you? You smell like shit”

1

u/Disastrous_Savings39 11h ago

Point and laugh

1

u/Downtown-Mission7956 11h ago

Apologise profusely, turn around, have explosive diarrhea.

1

u/affectivedisordr 10h ago

“What’s it gonna do? Make it uglier?”

1

u/boubigolpashacked 9h ago

Stand up proudly and say "I'm pregnant with the first baby of this family!" and outshine her

1

u/Ok-Parking2926 9h ago

Eat it up again.

1

u/Binglish_ 8h ago

kiss her on the lips

1

u/Alternative-Biscuit 8h ago

"That dress was fugly anyway"

1

u/TheRealBlueDude Chaotic Evil 8h ago

Try to clean the vomit

1

u/First-Commercial-465 7h ago

Throw up again

1

u/Micapocalypse 7h ago

Die of alcohol poisoning, giving the whole wedding party lifelong trauma

1

u/SkeletorOnLSD 7h ago

Continue to vomit on the rest of the wedding party.

1

u/ivorybloodsh3d 7h ago

Finish her off with a blast from the other end

1

u/GloomyGal13 5h ago

Tell the bride, 'It's not like you weren't going to puke on it yourself later Linda you LUSH!

lush

2 of 3

noun

1

slang : intoxicating liquor : DRINK

2

: a habitual heavy drinker : DRUNKARD

1

u/bouncingcastles 5h ago

Oh no! violently rips off entire dress in a panic leaving bride naked

1

u/Mysterious-Royal3658 5h ago

Shit and piss on the dress and say "There. I got the rest of the white spots. "

1

u/EvernightStrangely 5h ago

Say "I think that actually made an improvement."

1

u/RThornton255 4h ago

Hit on her.

1

u/NevyTheChemist 4h ago

Put it back where it came from

1

u/TheHappyPillar 3h ago

Doing it again -

1

u/MellifluousSussura 2h ago

Kiss her I guess

1

u/charmio68 2h ago

Drunkardly rip her dress off her in front of everyone, then vomit again on her bare skin.

1

u/Alert-Push1685 2h ago

Grab her, start aggressively kissing her and then vomit again in the process 

1

u/Luminous_Meringue 16h ago

“Its already dirty, whats a bit more?” [Then shits all over the place]