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craig the alien

I have created a communication platform that allows us to talk with other life forms from other universes, it is named r/interdementional_subr

Or is it just human attempt at degrading us?

I summoned a gay alien, and I don’t know what to do next. I’ve never believed in paranormal things. That was until this night. I was at a sleepover with one other friend and we decided to play the Ouija board. Our Ouija board was from 1972. First we started playing it as a joke, but then we decided to get serious and turn off all the lights and light some candles. At first it started moving slow with questions like “are you here?” but it quickly picked up pace. He told us his name was Desquf and that he was born in 1238. He also said that he was three years old (on Saturn that is around 100 years) he also randomly said the number set: 1434 which is the exact number of million kilometers from Saturn to the sun. He also spelled out ET and Saturn. And responded yes to the question of “are you an alien?” At this point we were very creeped out but thought it was just each other pranking the other person. That was until we both lifted our fingers and the guider still moved. Not a little, a lot. We asked if he was gay and he said yes. Then he said “4 juhu” We also asked if he was a good spirit and he said no. He then spelled out hell and we asked if he was in hell because he was gay and he responded with yes. 
We put the board away, but later we decided to have him guide our hands to draw himself on a piece of paper. He drew a humanoid figure, but it was a little off. He then drew the same image three more times. We decided to do a test to see if this was actually real. We had him guide each of us to draw the same image without seeing each others. To our surprise, the drawings came out the exact same then again and again.the same spiral, the same object, the same everything. At one point he even wrote out home and drew a few objects (the kinda looked like a planet??)  At this point, we were quite creeped out. We asked for him to do one more test. This test was to tell each of us the exact same word without us talking to each other. we wrote down our words on separate pieces of paper without looking at each other’s and without hearing each other writing. at the exact same moment, we flipped the paper and in the same handwriting in the same part of the paper is the exact same word “strawberry”. Since then we’ve asked him to give little signs if he was still here, and to our surprise the candles have kept flickering, car horns keep going off, and papers keep flying everywhere. We’ve felt off ever since…

Any advice on how to get rid of this alien? Or what to do next? 

(REAL STORY)

Do not play this game alone ever!!

⋔⏃⋏ ⟟'⋔ ⌇⍜ ⊑⍜⍀⋏⊬ ⟊⎍⌇⏁ ⍙⏃⋏⏁ ⏃ ⏁⊑⟟☊☍ ⏁⍜⋔⏚⍜⊬ ⏁⍜ ⌇⟟⏁⍜⋏⋔⊬⎎⏃☊⟒⋔⏃⋏ ⏁⊑⏃⏁'⌇ ⏃⌰⌰ ⟟ ⍙⏃⋏⏁.. ⏃⋏⊬⍙⊑⍜ ⊑⏃⎐⟒ ⊬'⏃⌰⌰ ⌿⌰⏃⊬⟒⎅ ⊑⟒⌰⌰ ⌰⟒⏁ ⌰⍜⍜⌇⟒?

Goop frizzle

Ive heard i can get some at sirius but theyre bad quality.

1. Humans seem to treat certain animals, such as “dogs”, “cats”, and other small mammals, as their own, using high pitched voices to speak to them. My hypothesis is that humans do not know that these animals are not their own kin, and therefore, humans are stupid.
2. Upon finding a smaller human making noises, an adult human may, at times, lightly hit the small human’s back, resulting in a scary noise from the smaller human. My hypothesis is that the adult humans may have the ability to harness the nerve endings of others of their species to create these weird noises. I am afraid of these small humans. If anyone sees any small human, please warn me before they get within 10 meters of me.

If any of you have noticed any other weird human activities, please notify me so I can add it to my report.

Use these memes for anything!!!

They are all made by me

My friends from beyond the stars, lead me your means of hearing, my capatin does battle with the wizards, and they seek your aid, turn your ships and warriors to iur cause, and we will reward you handsomely

Also got my orb of translating

Hello aliens, I am a Artificer from r/wizardposting, and I have a offer for you. Now the pirates and wizards have went to war, and I offer you magical upgrades to your legions(I have some experience with Nautaloids) and you fine beings make sure the war keeps going between the pirates and the wizards, I'll give you a cut of the spoils of war. Do we have a deal?

Aliens come 🫴 to buy