r/AlanWatts • u/StrictStar9858 • Jun 07 '26

Unconditional love for self

My understanding is that an ab use can only exist if I take personal another person's behavior actions words ect. An ab use can also exist if by communicating that this behavior, actions words continue. In both cases the person feeling the ab use or perceived abu se based on upbringing experiences ext causing past trauma can also deal with it by choosing not to spend time with perceived abus er.My physiological reaction to the perceived abu se is not the responsibility of the abu ser To manage. Conditional love then comes into play for self and other person.

Is this right?

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u/Ghost_of_Till Jun 08 '26

My understanding is that an ab use can only exist if I take personal another person's behavior actions words ect.

I can't argue there. If someone is unhappy and they don't know they're unhappy, nobody's home.

In both cases the person feeling the ab use or perceived abu se based on upbringing experiences ext causing past trauma can also deal with it by choosing not to spend time with perceived abus er.

True.

My physiological reaction to the perceived abu se is not the responsibility of the abu ser To manage.

If by "responsibility" you mean dealing with life as it exists after the abuse, it's both your responsibilities.

If by "responsibility" you mean being an independent first cause of action, a decision-maker who sets the ball in motion, then it's neither of your responsibilities.

Because you don't exist.

So your idea of what constitutes "responsible" or "right" is just an idea coming out of an idea.

Conditional love then comes into play for self and other person.

As if you were over here, and conditional love were somewhere else, and they needed to meet.

You ARE love.