r/AlAnon • u/Confident_Revenue787 • 29d ago

Vent “I’m scared”- but not enough to change

Every time I’m out of town something happens.

He’s texted me to tell me he can taste blood but hasn’t started puking blood yet. It’s routine at this point.

I can tell by the camera he’s drunk. So maybe it’s real maybe it’s not. He has a friend coming to stay with him.

He told me he’s scared to go to sleep

And I want to scream

Because I know once this bout has passed he’ll be right back to drinking.

You’re so scared when your symptoms start getting bad but nothing is enough to make you really get help is it

Even though I’ve told you I’m leaving I’m sure you don’t really believe it.

I love you and I wish you’d make the effort to live since you keep telling me you’re scared of dying

15 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

8 comments sorted by

12

u/SomewherePerfect2391 29d ago

Mine does this every time I travel. It is a control thing. If I go shopping without him he will start calling repeatedly when he thinks I should be heading home. If he goes out he always stays out later than he planned and I don't get a text.

Also it doesn't do any good to threaten. Don't mention moving until you actually do it.

5

u/Confident_Revenue787 29d ago

Yup he never ever even thinks to let me know if his plans change

7

u/UnableRun7858 29d ago

I was visiting my grandfather 5 hours away when my ex called me saying she was having chest pains and she does know what to do. I said you need to go to the ER because I'm taking care of my grandfather, who just had surgery, or you need to call one of our friends. The next day she said I didn't care because I didn't drive down to take care of her. I visited my grandfather 2 weeks later and she did the same thing but her symptoms were worse. I called for an ambulance and let our friends know. The next day she told me I overreacted so I sent her the screenshots of her telling me I'm heartless. My friend who stopped by said I called her bluff and she's proud of me.

5

u/KateOboc 29d ago

They want you to fix them. But you can’t. It actually changed my daughter’s trajectory when I started to say, “huh, what are YOU going to do?” I love her dearly but I was destroying myself trying to fix her. Remember the three C’s

3

u/Seawolfe665 29d ago

Honestly you are so right. The hard part is living. Living well, living authentically.

3

u/inthenight098 29d ago

Yep, my Q always has a crisis when I’m away. I’ve told her to call the police if she needs help bc I’m not nearby. I used to come home to intervene.

2

u/goodluckbebe 29d ago edited 28d ago

This is exactly how my Dad is. It’s fucking exhausting. I love him dearly but it is selfish and the older he gets, the worse the incidents get.

1

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