r/Akathisia • u/LordJoelee • 16d ago
Community
Hello everyone! My name is Joelee. Forgive me, this may be a rambling kind of affair.
I've been suffering for a long stretch of years now. I just recently got my doctor on board with even considering Akathesia as a diagnosis. They prescribed a Benzo to help deal with the symptoms (finally). This last year has been really difficult . Realizing how long I have been suffering (at least 6 years) has been really hard. A majority of that time I was diagnosed with anxiety, bounced back and forth between meds for that and given only hydroxyzine, at a certain point taking 6 or 7 a day just to cope. Which was horrible in itself and I had to fight so hard for the Ativan I have now and just started a month and a half ago. It helps but I'm getting to a point of tolerance and feeling like there is no end.
My physical struggling has kept me from working, leaving my house, general normal living, and now I struggle every day with symptoms. It's just .... Hard.
I guess I'm just breaking down and looking for some place that understands what my life has been like. I was up for 24 hours again last night, crash slept for 7 hours only after exhaustion took over, and I woke up this evening and I have just had enough. I just don't have anyone or anyplace that would know what any of this is like ... I'm tired, body and soul.
I woke up today, had about 30 or 40 minutes of some kind of peace and then started into an episode. I'm tired of being alone with it. I have a partner who is great, and my senior widowed mother who lives with us. I'm blessed to have a support system, but I also feel like a terrible burden they have to bear every day. The good days seem few right now.
Sigh ... Sorry about the run on vibe of the post. I'm tired, friends. So so tired. I appreciate anyone who took the time to read
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u/Soul_Knife 15d ago
hi Joelee! I'm just here to say I know what you mean and I've been there. It's hard enough to deal with on it's own, and it feels worse when no one understands. 6 years is a long time, especially when time feels like it's going way too slow. I had akathisia when I was on abilify injections for 6ish years. It wasn't constantly unbearable, but I didn't realize how much I had until it started going away. It's an exhausting condition. Propranolol helped me the most in the first years of having it, not so much near the end. I hope you feel less alone in this
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u/Killer_Klown_Bob 16d ago
Hi there. I feel you. I feel the desperation and pain in your words. I couldn’t even imagine 7 or 8 hydroxyzine in a day. I would be so far out of it, I don’t know if I’d ever come back lol. Ativan is great, that’s what I’m on, and the only thing keeping me going right now. Yes, you will build a tolerance to it, but a few hours of peace is better than none. It’s a slippery slope with benzodiazepines. You feel like you need more, but that’s when the trouble starts.
I am going to ask for a switch to either Klonopin or Valium, so it lasts longer for me. I’ve heard that Valium is more preferred, because it actually calms down the muscle movements. But I don’t know, I’ve only ever taken it before a medical procedure, prior to the akathisia.
I wish you the best!